Top Chef and Top Banana: Final Maui Musings 

So to round out my whistle-stop tour of Maui, after having fried with the whales, it was time to go and indulge one of my other great loves aside from travel – my addiction to Top Chef!

For those of you who don’t follow Top Chef or don’t get it where you are, it’s a reality-type cooking contest, where every week, the Cheftestants have to complete various cooking challenges of varying randomness and ridiculousness.  Its now in its tenth season and has had its ups and downs as a show (last year’s was the worst and bitchiest ever) but this season was pretty good, except for the heinous early elimination of one of the best chefs and front-runner, Kristen.  (Padma – YOU need to pack your knives and go!)  But, in a triumphant validation, (SPOILER ALERT!) Kristen managed to battle her way back into the competition and ended up winning the whole thing!   Yey, Team Kristen!! 

Noodling for noodles

Anyway, one of the other finalists was this really nice bloke called Sheldon who was as impressive for his demeanor as for his demi-glace.  After the incredible back-biting and sheer nastiness of the cheftestants from last year, it was really refreshing to see chefs who weren’t completely up their own arses or relying on screwing over other people to get ahead in the competition (notable exceptions – John (a complete tool) and Josie (lazy and loud)).  Sheldon managed to balance the obvious ego and confidence you need as a chef with an appropriate dose of humility and gratitude that marked him out as an all-around Top Bloke.   So, given his restaurant was in Lahaina, where I’d just been to watch the whales and gently crispen in the sunshine, it would have been rude not to have paid him a visit. 

I think most of the rest of the island’s population (local and tourist alike) had the same idea!   Ay carumba.  There’s the power of being on a reality show right there for getting the hordes to visit your restaurant!!  I haven’t had to wait that long to get seated since I left Manhattan!!  Checking in at the Maitre D’s desk, I was told the wait was “at least an hour” but I thought, sod it, when am I going to be here again so bit the bullet, put my name down on the list and headed back 

Starry noodles

outside to wait. 

Fortunately, it was still a glorious day – about 6pm by this stage, so the sun had just started to dip lower and the temperature was perfect, so I threw the top back on the Mustang, racked the seat back all the way and stretched out to enjoy the early evening’s warmth and the sheer glory of doing absolutely nothing except doze in the sunshine.  I’d been up since 2.30am, so I may have dropped off for a couple of minutes but the hour’s wait went very quickly so, before I knew it, I had snagged a plum seat at the bar with the perfect view of the kitchen.  

And yep – there Sheldon was – still smiling and being incredibly gracious in posing for photos and dealing with the many, many Top Chef groupies like me, who were there, all a-twitter and excited about meeting him!  I did have my picture taken with him, however, I am FAR to vain to post it as I look COMPLETELY ridiculous in it, as I am as red as a lobster because of the sun from the boat but with stupid panda eyes because of my sunglasses.  That plus crazy-assed hair and it is an atrociously unflattering sight!!  I did congratulate him on the show but I am embarrassed to admit I got a bit starstruck, so probably sounded a bit of a blithering idiot!!  (I have been starstruck once before by a Top Chef – that time, it was Hung, a previous season winner, in the backstage VIP area of the Bocuse D’Or competition held at the CIA in upstate New York every year.   Surrounded by the great culinary alums of the modern age (Thomas Keller, Daniel Boulud, Paul Liebrandt, Wolfgang Puck) and I get all flustered and tongue-tied meeting Hung!! )

The food itself was excellent - garlic noodles (in my excitement, i forgot noodles have wheat in them!), miso salmon and brussel sprouts (love me some Brussels!), followed by a trio of yummy ice-cream.   All in all, it was a great meal and - in a pleasant surprise - not horribly expensive!  All told, including a virgin cocktail, the total bill was less than $50!  

Da man himself.  Sheldon surveys his empire.

Fart capsules 

Yummy miso salmon

Well... they do say that trouble
comes in threes, right?

So, as I then started the hour and a half drive back from Lahaiana stuffed and happy, to my personal little library, I reflected on what had been a short but very sweet trip!!  Staying in the library was a lot of fun and certainly the bed was one of the most comfortable I’d ever slept in - mattress was just the right softness and firmness (steady), with fluffy pillows and a comforter that was like a hug from Mumsie.  I loved the smell, as you opened the door and walked in - the heat of the sun warming the oils that have infused the wood over the years - it was such a nostalgic, evocative smell and brought to mind thoughts of hours spent in libraries, bookstores, wonderful places of learning and knowledge.  And lots of lattes in Cosi and Barnes and Noble.  Made me want to rush home and hug my Encyclopedia Britannica's.  So the promise of the library itself certainly lived up to my expectations - the quirky decorations were an added bonus (I'm now wondering whether i should encrust a pair of my shoes in fake shark teeth?).

Personalized whale tail engraving?  Why, yes - thank you.

Now, the bathroom facilities - hmm....well...not so much.  I didn't post pictures of the shower/loo that was a separate little building right next to the kitchen but it was certainly...um... unique in its construction in 

terms of its proportions of glass to non-see through materials.  Now, I would say i'm fairly worldly and have traveled quite a lot, but this one was a new one for me to watch a rabbit hopping through the shower as I sat on the loo, looking out directly on one of the student interns making lunch in the kitchen.  Too much damned glass, you see.  

And the shower was built outside (hence the opportunity for bunny intrusion) - but had interesting lines of visibility still...um.. visible from the outdoor kitchen, the intern's little house and the main house, just a short distance away. The non-transparent part of the shower wall was about 4 inches wide, so made for an interesting bathing experience, trying to get clean while not provide a free floor show for all.  But, i guess it all added to the general weirdness and kookiness of it all (all very arty-farty, I suppose, to not be concerned with something as prosaic as personal privacy or public nudity), so I just went with the flow.  

And kept my shower very short.

And with that, my little escape to Maui drew to a close.  Returning the convertible Mustang to the rental place the next day, ready to catch my flight, nursing crazy sunburn, an emergent cold and a overloaded credit card, I felt happy.  Knackered, sniffy and broke, but happy to have spent just a few days in this beautiful place and already planning the next expedition......  

Supporting local art & traditions -
purchasing a whale tail carved from
koa, a native Hawaiian wood