Friday, December 27, 2013

Socks are visible

Right then.  Are you ready for this?  I have a LOT to catch you up on.  Sometimes I think my life is measured in reverse cat years, as so much seems to get jammed into a short space of time.  I don't blog for a week and everything changes.

So, since my last blog post on Santacon, I traveled to Chicago and started my new job at Takeda!  Now, I generally will not blog about my job as talking about work stuff on social media is fraught with potential pitfalls - I don't ever want to do a Justine Sacco (for any of you unfamiliar with the story, click here: http://mashable.com/2013/12/20/justine-sacco/ - story's end? her ass was totally fired).  But, as I sat down last night to write this blog post, I figured just describing my first week at work, the folk I'd met and the excitement of all the preparations for my impending move to Japan would be perfectly fine.

Its funny how your life can completely change in the blink of an eye or the click of a mouse.

My first week at Takeda (I started Dec 15th) was completely brilliant.  I flew to Chicago late Sunday night, and was going to be in the Deerfield office Monday through Wednesday, doing all the HR onboarding, training stuff, IT stuff, paperwork (so much paperwork) and then as many meetings with as many members of my new team as I could cram into the three days!  It was bloody FREEZING - the morning after I arrived, it was FOUR degrees!!  FOUR degrees, I tell you!!  That is really quite chilly, especially after having flown in from Californian sunshine of 65 degrees!   Nonetheless, I caught the free shuttle bus from the hotel to Takeda's campus to report in for Day One, bright and early at 8.45am!  Takeda is literally a stone's throw from the Hyatt but - both given the weather plus the fact there are no sidewalks along the busy freeway, walking there was not a viable option.  There were about 5 or 6 of us all sitting waiting in the lobby, and I was very impressed by how nice the facility was.  Its very light, airy and modern - three identical office buildings with lots of glass and high ceilings basically stuck together in a row.  Handy in that the meeting rooms, loos, coffee rooms etc are in exactly the same place on every floor in each building, so once you've learnt the layout, you're set no matter which building you're in.  For a directionally-challenged person such as myself, that's a cool bonus.

Anyway, Day 1 pretty much consisted of back-to-back training presentations from all the various folk we needed to hear from (payroll, IT, security, HR, health and safety, etc etc) to get ourselves set up in the Takeda system.   Got my new ID badge and was pleased that - for once - I happened to be having a Good Hair Day when it was taken.  At last.  One piece of ID where I don't look like the living dead or that i've been submerged, decomposing, at the bottom of a lake for a couple of weeks.  It was really quite refreshing.  I like this company already.

After all that malarky was done with, I finally managed to make it up to the temporary office that had been reserved for me, up in building 2 on the 3rd floor.  An office!!  I had an office again!!!  With walls and a door!!  (my euphoria was short-lived, once I learnt that the Tokyo offices are all open-plan, so my rekindled romance with non-cube corporate living would be, sadly, short-lived.  Well, maybe..).  I had a number of meetings scheduled with various folk, but even before my first official meeting, I was extremely impressed by just how warm and welcoming everyone was.  Asking for help to find the copier room, this random chap not only showed me the copier room, but then also introduced me to several other folk on the floor - just because they were there, and I was a new hire.  Someone taking just a few moments out of their day to make me feel welcome, not because they had to, but because that was part of the culture.  So, overall, my first impressions have been extremely favorable - and were borne out in all the meetings I had with various people.  To a tee, folk were friendly and extremely happy to welcome me onboard!  The meetings were more introductory ones, rather than detailed work discussions, but I certainly left Chicago with a MASSIVE stack of files and presentations to read over the Holiday Shutdown.  Yep - in one of those blissful "I couldn't have planned this better if I tried" moments, my first full week at Takeda was then followed by the two week company shutdown, where the offices close and everyone buggers off until January 6th!   And I was getting paid for it!!  Of course, my plan was to take one of those weeks off to relax and recharge after what has been, by all accounts, a pretty stressful year and then take the second week to start to read through all that stuff, so that i'm fully prepped about my new compound and the diabetes market and would be ready and raring to go on January 6th.

Or so I thought.

One of the more exciting and fun meetings I had was with the relocation specialists who would be handling my transition to Japan.  I'd spoken a couple of times with the lady who had been assigned to handle my case, and we'd chatted for a bit so that she could get to know me a little, my personality (poor thing) etc before then talking about my specific relocation needs.  I was delighted to hear that Takeda were going to match my 2 bedroom apartment here in San Francisco with a 2 bedroom apartment in Tokyo (yey for visitors not having to sleep on an Aerobed!) and we started talking about potential neighborhoods and key requirements.  My relo lady also connected me with the local relo folk in Japan, so they were also in touch, starting to co-ordinate and plan the itinerary for my home-finding visit!  It was all incredibly exciting - and very real!  My tickets were booked for January 2nd and I'd be spending the first 2 weeks in Tokyo, then flying back to Chicago for meetings on Jan 20th, then heading to NYC to meet with my agency the last week in January, before finally collapsing back into a heap in SF at the end of the month.  The legal folk who were working on my Japan visa had also been in touch, so i'd sent them some initial paperwork and documents, and would hear back from them as to how long it would take for my Japan work visa to come through.  Around 6 weeks was the estimate, putting my final, Oh My God I'm Really Leaving SF for Japan date at early February.

Now, as part of the relocation package (which, again, they do a very nice job with), there several things  - other than simple finances - included that are intended to help with your transition.  One is for language tuition, up to 120 hrs, so I definitely signed up for that.  Another service offered is for a day of "cultural training", to help you understand better some of the cultures, customs and protocols involved with living in Japan.  Its an all-day, in-person one on one training session with a consultant and its intended to help you thrive in a new culture, both from a personal and a professional perspective.  Because I was flying out to Tokyo on Jan 2nd and would be meeting my team the first couple weeks, I wanted to try and squeeze in the training before I left.  Its just so different, that any and all knowledge and insight beforehand was going to be invaluable.

So, that's how I found myself yesterday - on Boxing Day no less - working through lots of various exercise with Keiko-san, to help me decode how Stuff Gets Done in Japan and how people think, make decisions and do business.  As we worked through each section, I had to reflect on what my objectives were, or how I thought about things, or my leadership style, or what was important to me as then the basis for comparing that with how my Japanese colleagues thought, felt or acted.   As I got started in the day, I was asked to write down what I wanted to get out of the day's session.  Here's what came to mind:

  • to understand basic protocol and courtesy so that i don't offend
  • to understand how best to be effective in my role within the context of the Japanese organization
  • to feel confident about my transition
All good stuff, no?

Anyway, I won't regale you with a blow-by-blow account of the whole training session but the discussion was wide ranging and covered both personal and professional challenges and motivations.  I learnt some key cultural differences through fruit analogies (UK people are coconuts, US people are peaches and Japanese are fuzzy coconuts - answers on a postcard if you can figure out what that means).  I learnt about the different personal needs and values that are rated highly by a Japanese person vs a Westerner (these are all generalizations) - for example, that egalitarianism and independence are prized traits for us, whereas status, interdependency and the collective orientation are key working traits for the Japanese.  Some of this, of course, I already knew a bit about but it was still very helpful and enlightening to go through some specific examples of how you would approach business situations and decision-making in a more Japanese-style, vs our direct Western (especially East Coast NYC!) approach!  I also learnt how to introduce myself in Japanese:  "Hajimemashite, Sarah Holloway desu.  Dozo, yoroshiku onegaishimasu".  I got Keiko-san to record it, so I'd be able to pronounce it properly again!  

I also had one of - potentially many - Lost in Translation moments.  Keiko-san and I had been talking over lunch about the various districts I could live in Tokyo, the various pros and cons of each, and I mentioned that I'd just been sent through a sample itinerary from my Japan relocation team, mapping out a full day of touring the different areas for my home-finding visit on January 8th.  There was one part in the itinerary I was slightly puzzled by, so i pulled up the document and asked Keiko-san.  It was in the "smart tips and introduction" section and this is what it said:

"Slip-on shoes: Since many properties have a "shoe off" rule (street shoes are removed at the entrance), so slip-on shoes are a must for house-hunting.  Also, socks are visible"

Socks are visible?  What does that mean, "socks are visible"?  Does it mean "your socks are visible"?  Or does it mean "your socks must be visible"?   And does that mean i have to wear socks?  What if i'm wearing tights instead?  Do i then need to wear socks over my tights so that I am wearing visible socks?  Do I need to make sure to have a pair of socks in my handbag at all times lest I find myself suddenly in need of display socks??  I figured that bare feet are always a no-no, but what then?  This digit-dressing dilemma is exactly why I signed up for this cultural training - just a small thing like this, with so many possible ways to interpret three words, all laden with the potential to cause inadvertent offense!!!  On showing this to Keiko-san, she was also a little bemused at first before agreeing that probably the first meaning "hey dude - your socks are going to be visible so make sure you don't have any holes in them" was the correct interpretation.  Loopy - sorry to say you'd be totally screwed if you ever visited Japan.  

Although they didn't mention anything that your socks had to match

Anyway, so that was yesterday, and it was great day, full of insight and which left me even more excited for my impending move.  In just one week's time I'd actually be in Tokyo!!  How crazy was that.

Well, then.  Isn't it funny how things can just change in the blink of an eye.

I hadn't been on my email all day, so - after fending off three URGENT phone calls from the bank (I'm STILL clearing up the residual detritus of my identity theft - and don't even get me started on AllState and the ongoing battle to get my floors replaced), I finally logged on to my work email and checked my  inbox.

And there it was.  

A message from Takeda's CEO announcing the following "Today, I must inform you that we have come to the very difficult decision to terminate the Phase 3 clinical development program for TAK-875 (fasiglifam) due to concerns about liver safety".

One sentence and my world completely changed.  This was my drug, the product I'd been hired to help steer to market - gone.  No more.  And - with no product to launch in Japan - there was no longer any valid work reason for me to move to Japan.  So, just like that, sayonara Tokyo.

As I read the email, and corresponding press release, again and again, with my heart in my mouth and my stomach through the floor (its quite an interesting sensation - but not one I'd recommend), my shock started to give way to anxiety and a teeny bit of concern.  What would happen to my team?  My boss?  Would sayonara Fasi and Tokyo then be followed by "sayonara Sarah"?  If my product was dead, would I still be needed?  

Then followed about 5 Doctor Who episodes-worth of time where I couldn't get in touch with my boss, as she was in Europe, on vacation, so - at the time I was reading the email - it was 2am in the morning and she was asleep. That was a pretty awful feeling, knowing that I knew that news and that she was still oblivious.  Eventually, though, the clock rolled around to early morning in Europe and she texted me to let me know she was awake and to call her.  With my heart thumping in my chest, I dialed to get the skinny on my likely fate….

Well, then.

I just knew there was a deeper meaning to the Toblerone in my Christmas stocking, other than an addiction to triangular-shaped nougat-studded chocolate that is impossible to eat after having been in the fridge.

Yep, instead of moving to Tokyo, I now seem to find myself moving to Zurich.  Land of cheese, mountains and Heidi (Loopy - quiet now.. unless that was Austria?).  I don't have too many details to share yet but what I can share is that I still have a job, its going to be a great opportunity, I still get to report to my awesome boss (I know she never reads this, so no danger of being called a suck-up) plus her awesome boss who was one of the people who originally interviewed me and thought i was a rockstar!  While I'm still mentally processing the idea of moving back to Europe vs moving to Japan, its also going to mean that i'm one hell of a lot closer to my family in Cyprus and in the UK.  I'll even be able to pop home for extended weekends!!!  So that is one very big upside that I am focusing on, and that is certainly helping to offset the bitter disappointment of my Japan dreams evaporating.  But, as I see it, maybe Japan is simply meant to be an adventure for the future, instead of my adventure for right now. Hopefully I'll still get out there one day, even if its just to visit - you just never know.

So, that's my news.  That's whats happened to me in the space of the last 2 weeks.  I guess 2013 isn't going out without one last final roller coaster of emotion!!

2014 cannot arrive soon enough.

Which leaves me with just one final thought - anyone want to buy a Rosetta Stone Japanese course?

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Rockstar Reindeer!!

Dashing through the MUNI
On Dasher!  On Vixen!   Its SantaCon, so Bring it ON! 

It's official.  If you want to feel like a rockstar and experience what it must be like to be super-famous, there's just one thing you need to do.

Dress up like a Reindeer on SantaCon.

My regular blog-watchers will no doubt remember Santa Con from last year and a similar (if somewhat soggier!) experience!  So, no better way to start to get into the holiday spirit than to repeat the outing - and this time, there was double trouble!

Yep, 11am last Saturday morning, with the help of two home-made dog (reindeer?) tags and my partner-in-crazy, Lori, Dasher and Vixen made waves at Santa Con!  Fortunately, the weather was far more cooperative this year than it had been last year and it was an absolutely glorious day.  Clear blue skies, bright sunshine and not a rain cloud in sight!  

As last year, we took the MUNI to Union Square.  We didn't get stopped as much as last year for photos as we walked from Powell MUNI station to Union Square, so I wondered if the reindeer novelty of last year had been a one-off.

Um…no.  
Best Reindeer Buddies
As soon as we reached Union Square at around 11.10am, already thronging with flocks (?) of red suited Santas, Lori and I were completely mobbed!  It was so much fun to hear kids and adults shouting out "look!!  there are reindeer!!  It's Vixen and Dasher!"    And we got stopped quite literally hundreds of times and asked for pictures - one (fairly drunken) Santa clamped himself round my ankles, professing love for Rudolph - at first I thought it was a little kid, until I looked down and saw an inebriated twenty-something lying prostrate on the floor with his arms round my legs!  Needless to say, I shook him off pretty quickly after that - Rule One of Santa Con - no feeling up the reindeer!  

Eco-friendly reindeer sleigh
Other than that, most people seemed pretty well-behaved and not completely sh*tfaced.  As the weather was so much nicer than last year, I think the atmosphere was better and more relaxed and friendly, as people just hung out in Union Square, Santa-watching and making new friends.  As per last year, after about an hour of constant photo-ops, we managed to escape to the little cafe/wine bar down at one end of the Square to put our hooves up and enjoy an well-earned adult beverage.  Wearing a full length fleece suit with fleece head, feet and mitts in 65 degree weather is hot and thirsty work!   Alas, no Dante this year, but I did - bizarrely - get given a free bag of baby carrots by a bunch of Santas ahead of me in the queue.  How apropos.  So with free carrots and a glass of wine in hand, we sat and enjoyed the sunshine (heads off!)  - here are some of my pics from the 2013 SF Santa Con and the official write-up of the day's festivities! 


Who(Ville) that lady?
Photo shoot frenzy!
Scary hairy bear-y makes reindeer wary
Vixen Instagram-ing a selfie!!
Vixen making Mrs. Claus's day!
Political?  Santa Con?  Only in SF….
May The Christmas Force be with you
Vixen photobombs Elf!
Not entirely sure if this guy was in costume or not -
 got the sense this may have been a regular
Saturday morning outfit for this guy
Vixen-Lori taking a well-earned breather from the paparazzi!
Bah Humbug trouser guy with a large red
chimney on his head.  Not pictured: Miley Cyrus.
Grinchyness and Fat Santa
Festive high fives and high jinks
I don't think the dog was too impressed with his outfit.  
On line, behind the squirrel.
As you do.
Awesome.  The cashier getting into the Santa Con spirit!
The Santa Con Scene
Just chillin' with a cold glass of white and a
free bag of carrots
Heads-up!  Its Santa Con!
The Elf is No Longer On the Shelf but
possibly is Off His Rocker
It was all starting to get a bit weird.
Ta-da!  Proof that two heads are always better than one!
Hippie Roller Santa
Squirrel Santa making a run for it.  She was totally nuts.
It takes a special kind of guy to wear a
body stocking Santa suit.  Good job Squirrel Santa
 didn' see this guy's arse with her nuts or
he'dve been busy crackin'…..
Candy cane dame
After an hour or so of chilling out, catching up and just enjoying the weather and good company, our reindeer bellies were starting to grumble a bit, so it was time to recreate one of the classic photo ops from last year, the Menu Shot at Lori's Diner.  The reaction when we walked into the diner was classic   - the double-look, surprise and (almost universally) a smile.  So cool.   And - fortunately - this year, no  really cute kids wrapping themselves around me, so I was able to take my head off without fear of causing permanent mental scarring about disembodied reindeer.

The classic, recreated with Extra Lori.
After that, we did a quick whizz round Macy's just to check out the Holiday floor and see if there were any random kids singing this year.  Fortunately the coast was clear, so i didn't have to get my caroling on, but again, lots of people were very excited to see us, so we did our Rockstar Reindeer thang again for a bit, before agreeing we were knackered and it was time to hightail it home.  En route, we came across the fire truck that was collecting the toys and donations from all the Santas (fun AND for a good cause!), so we got a couple of bright red plastic fireman's helmets as reward for our donation.  And very natty they looked too, carefully perched between our antlers (an artful lodger, if you will).   So, with that, we took our final MUNI trip, navigating the turnstiles and the moving escalator without incident (easier said than done wearing a huge reindeer head and big foam reindeer booties!) and finally made it home.  

Another year, another Santa Con, another triumph!  Bring on 2014!  
Vixen practicing good road awareness.
No red nose required.
Where's Santa and his sleigh when you need a ride home? 
Winding our way home

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Wait? What? Its nearly Christmas??

Because of all the new job, apartment leak, identity theft, cat surgery and broken dishwasher brouhaha, I keep forgetting how close it is to Christmas.  As I walked into work for the penultimate time today (whoo-hoo!), I got a quick shot of the Festive Spirit with this fabulous display outside my office building.

Them's some big balls.
Christmas tree and blazing blue CA skies.
Still an odd combination!
You should see the size of the tree....
I am completely not ready for Christmas and, to be honest, it makes no sense at all to decorate, as my apartment is going to be ripped apart anyway to replace the flooring over the next couple of weeks so it'll just get in the way.  Also, because of the job thing, Mumsie is not going to be here for Christmas (sad face) so it wouldn't be the same without a Mumsie Under The Tree.  So this year's festivities are going to be very quiet, consisting of yours truly with a nice glass (or two) of champagne, some Dairy Milk and the Doctor Who Christmas special on the telly.  Perfect.  I'm sure there will be a few peeps around and about over the holidays, so i won't be completely on my own the whole time, so don't you worry - I'll be fine!  Given the exciting life changing event that's about to happen, I think one low-key Christmas is a very acceptable trade-off!

HOWEVER, there is the SF Santa Con this Saturday to look forward too!  Last year, Sarah Little and I whipped downtown San Francisco (and an Italian septuagenarian architect called Dante) into a festive frenzy with our fabulous outfits and Merry Demeanor.  This year, Lori and I will be looking to recreate the Christmas Crazy with - hopefully - slightly less rain and squelchiness this time!

http://sazzinthecity.blogspot.com/2012/12/its-on-santacon-oh-yes.html

In our new SITC segment called "Relocation News", its all starting to get fantastically, excitingly, terrifyingly real!  Yesterday, I received the formal offer letter from Takeda which I duly (and efficiently) signed - and I have to say first impressions are good.  Just look at how fancy the box is that the offer came in!  You gotta hand it to the Japanese - they sure know how to package stuff up beautifully!! (and - despite having worked in marketing and advertising for the last 10 years or so - I'm still a sucker for a nice package (steady! minds out of the gutter please, Sarah Little)).
My offer letter in its fancy-pants box!
(also happened to be the sound I was making as I signed the letter)
I even got a pen just for the occasion!!!
So thats that.  I'm also now getting contacted by the relocation folk, my schedule is filling up for next week for my trip to Chicago to do the HR stuff and meet some of the team and, just this evening, I finalized the dates for my first trip out to Japan!!  I'll be flying out Thurs Jan 2nd and staying for a couple of weeks, both for work and as a home-finding visit.  My team out in Japan has already organized a welcome dinner for me (with a heavy dollop of karoake on the side, no doubt!), so that's going to be a fabulous experience and introduction to the city!  I'll be coming back to Chicago Jan 20th for more meetings, then head back to SF/Chicago until my formal Japan work visa is ready, probably in mid-Feb.  I've got my Rosetta Stone language course ready to go, my Lonely Planet guide, a Tokyo city map plus a cookbook/guidebook about Izakayas, which are the Japanese version of pubs.   Random foodie fact for you - there are more restaurants per capita in Tokyo than any other city in the world!  More than New York!  Huzzah!  Bring it on!!

Anyway....I guess this all means that its really happening!!  Eek!!  So, buckle up, blog-watchers - its going to be one hellava ride over the next couple of months!!
Japan - i'm coming for ya!  Are you ready??

Thursday, December 05, 2013

The Cat is Out of The Bag....

Right then.  I have news.  

This is where my blog bifurcates into Those Who Use Facebook and Those Who Do Not.  For those of you who have seen my earlier post tonight, you will already be aware of my Stonking Annoucement.  For those of you who have not, let me explain.

Its Daniel Johnson's fault.

Yep.  As soon as he posted a link to the following news article to my Facebook timeline, I knew my time in the US was numbered.


So annoying.  But - as they say - knowledge is power, so after such enlightenment, what else could I do but act on said information?

So, for those of you who Have Not Yet Heard - I'm moving.  And shaking.  Probably literally.  Because i'm leaving the earthquake capital of the West Coast to move to the Seriously Scary Earthquake Capital of the.. um.. (far) East Coast.  I'm moving to Japan!  More precisely, Tokyo!

Yep, I will be leaving my current job at Sudler, leaving San Francisco AND the US (thanks for the citizenship - so byee!) for a new job with Takeda Pharmaceuticals, based out of their Tokyo office, with responsibility for the launch of their new multi-billion dollar diabetes blockbuster drug.  I'll be based in Japan for the first 18 months, then I'll return either to Deerfield, Illinois (just outside Chicago) or to Zurich, Switzerland to co-ordinate the rest of the global launches.  Its a fantastic opportunity, so i couldn't be more thrilled.  Its also going to be a phenomenal adventure - i've never even been to Japan, so to up sticks and go move there permanently is going to be quite the experience!  My Rosetta Stone Japanese course is already on order, so I hope I'll be able to learn enough to at least survive in restaurants and train stations!

Timing-wise, its going to be at least 6 -10 weeks before i move permanently, while they get the Japan work visa sorted.  Til then, I'll be working remotely from SF, with visits to the Chicago office.  I know I already have a trip to Japan scheduled for the first week of January for an apartment-hunting trip, so I will keep you all posted and suitably amused with the tiny-ness of apartments inTokyo that I will be living in.  Its gonna be just like living back in NYC again - but smaller!!  Sayonara to my palatial two-story CA-living townhome with private patio, pool, hot tub and outdoor garden and BBQ!  But I Will Be Back - I'm not selling but I'll be renting my place out for the foreseeable future.  I certainly see myself coming back to California one day, so I absolutely want to keep hold of my place.  Its too perfect to let go of and, psychologically, its easier for me to leave if i have a foothold back here that I can come back too.

So there you go.  That's my news.  Let the blog-fest begin....

Tuesday, December 03, 2013

Frankencat

Poor baby.  So Dylan went in for his surgery today to remove that pesky mast cell tumor that had taken up residence behind his right ear.  The most important thing to report is that everything went very smoothly, he's now home and recovering, albeit still stoned out of his poor furry little mind from the pain meds and anesthetic! He looks mildly stoned at the best of times, so you can only imagine the vacant look he's wearing right now.

He's also sporting a very impressive looking scar, plus two shaved patches on his front legs where the IVs went in, plus a fentanyl patch stuck in his hind leg for longer term pain relief. Pain relief patches for cats - who knew?  I guess that's what $2,000 in vet fees will buy you.  Yep. Two grand for an op that lasted 15 minutes.  Ouch ouch ouch.  Thank goodness for credit plans, is all I can say.  

He may be a Frankencat right now, but he's worth every penny.

Sunday, December 01, 2013

Turkey malarky (subtitle: thank god this week is over)

OK.  OK.  I'll admit it.  I have been known to dress-up on occasion.

So, it only seemed fitting that - on my first Thanksgiving as an American - I should mark such an auspicious event in an appropriately costumed manner (I guess it depends on your definition of the word "appropriate" I suppose, but there you have it).  

I was also in need of a bit of fun, given the trying nature of the last couple of weeks.  You know they say that "Things Come In Threes" (buses, trains, deaths, accidents - you know, cheerful stuff like that (its never winning lottery tickets, boyfriends or free chocolate, is it now?).  Well, I just had a couple of weeks where things were starting to come in multiples of threes!   Now, this blog is generally dedicated to light-hearted tomfoolery and mischief, so I wont bore you overly with the details (OK - maybe just a bit).  But suffice it to say that being greeting by several panicked phone calls and emails about a water leak in your apartment is not the ideal greeting to be met with, upon landing at JFK for a week's business trip in NYC.

Yep, some random (albeit obviously rather important) valve-type thingy on my loo upstairs knackered, cascading water throughout my apartment and wreaking all kinds of carnage.  Fortunately Anne (who's staying with me at the moment) was at home and was able to contain the damage quickly and call the HOA for the clean-up crew to come in straight away and start to mop up the mess.  Even still, its insane how much damage even a little bit of water can do.  As i write this, 2 weeks later, my wooden floors are still ripped up exposing the concrete, the skirting boards are off, kitchen cupboards taken off the walls, holes drilled in the kitchen ceiling, and light fixtures not working.  But at least my apartment is now dry again - assisted by 6 enormous blowers and dehumidifiers that were installed in my apartment for over a week! This is the scene I came home to that Friday night, after a long, hard week in NYC:

Recreating the TARDIS in my kitchen in honor
 of the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary.
Not pictured: THE IMMENSE NOISE!!
Not the most relaxing sight - or sound to behold - but I was grateful that it didnt cause more damage than it did.  It could have been far, far worse.

So, that was one thing.  The next on the shit list was that I discovered that the little lump that had been innocently chilling out behind Dylan's ear for the last 6 months had suddenly gone all yukky looking, confirming my suspicion that Something Wasn't Quite Right.  I know I talk a good game about how - as soon as anything starts to go wrong with the boys, them getting sick and costing me a fortune in vets bills that it'll be a bucket of water and a brick - but that's just b-s.  Dylan's my boy and he needed checking out, so a call to the vet to who does house calls it was, then.  He rocked up the next day, was great with him and gave him a thorough exam and took several cytology samples to send to the lab for diagnosis.  He also gave both of them a rabies vaccine and microchipped them (sensible in case of a big earthquake and they get loose - though giving them fins and snorkels would probably be more useful).  I got the results back the next day and, yes, its a mast cell tumor and "excision is recommended".  So, to add to the $645 that little visit cost me, its a trip to the Pet Hospital tomorrow to go and see Dr Watts (no, not the one from Eastenders), a surgeon who's apparently the best in the city for removing those tumors.   So, fingers crossed for poor little Dylan tomorrow - the vet will confirm the best course of action to take.  Izzie already has his eyes crossed for him.  And my checkbook already has CPR on standby for the shock it no doubt will suffer.

So if leaks and pet cancer weren't enough, my dishwasher decided to add itself to my Shitstorm Pity Party and go and break its ass on me.  I had the dishwasher engineer guy around yesterday and that will cost me around $300-400 to fix.  Awesome.  Paper plates til then, then...

And FINALLY... just after I'd got the email with Dylan's diagnosis, I opened my mail to discover two cards - one credit, one debit - from Target.  Strange, I thought.  I didn't request a credit card.  I wonder if this is some elaborate marketing ploy by those dastardly advertising types your mother always warns you about.... (Mumsie - I should have listened!)

So i called Target.  To find out that - those credit cards were real.  And that someone had stolen my social security number to open them up with.  Even more scary was that someone had also - god knows how - managed to get a blank check of mine and had linked the debit card directly to my checking account.  And upon logging into my bank account - there indeed were two debits from Target, right there.  Effing brilliant.  The final cherry on my overly abundantly iced turdcake - some douche was now running around with my SSN, my checking account was no longer secure and potentially playing all kinds of havoc with my credit rating.  

That's a mighty fine plate of food.
Cue hours spent on the phone with banks, credit card companies, the FTC, Experian.  You name it.  It is quite incredible just how disruptive having to mop this all up is - and, given I found out at 3pm the day before the Thanksgiving holiday - I did as much as I could before the long weekend but I still have to file a police report, visit the social security office to tell them and file an internet crimes compliant.  At least I went to the bank on Friday and opened a new checking account.  That means, though, that I have to re-do everything from scratch - relink my Paypal account, Ebay, Amazon, all the automated debits - basically everything you've spent the last 10 years accumulating and making your financial life easy with.  I even have to call the IRS to tell them, so some m'fer doesnt try and file for my tax return and claim my refund using my SSN.

All this came on top of a rather frustrating week at work, so its fair to say that - by Thanksgiving Thursday itself - a little light costumery was well and truly called for.  

I had the absolute pleasure of spending Thanksgiving dinner at Lori's place, with my American Mom and Pop, Cheri and Greg, and it was a fabulous evening.  The food was excellent, the company fabulous and a wonderful time was had by all.   
Greg, Anne and some very welcome bubbles!
Lori perfecting her pour...
But wait!  Who on earth was this special guest who also turned up to dinner??

Could that be - a giant Cooked Turkey??
Guess who's coming to dinner?
Why, yes.  Yes, it was.  Well - come on in, then, Mystery Giant Turkey - pull up a perch and dig on in. There's plenty to go around.

As cluck would have it, Mystery Guest Turkey was a fabulously enthusiastic cannibal and certainly enjoyed a heaping plateful of similarly cooked brethren, also not letting the absence of anything above the neck or individually movable digits from preventing the clutching (no pun intended) of a lovely glass of champagne.  At least the bubbles weren't going to go to MGT's head.
Absolutely stuffed.  Basted, not wasted.
But WAIT!  In all the excitement, Sarah seemed to have Mysteriously Disappeared.  And - was it just co-incidence that Mystery Guest Turkey's grip on its champagne flute was as vice-like as Sarah's has been known to be?

Could it be?  Really?  Slowly (really, it was quite tricky to get in and out of), the identity of our mystery dinner guest was revealed to be.....
Surprise!!
YES!  IT'S ME!!!  SURPRISE!!!!  

And so it came to pass that the Legend of The Giant Turkey of Pleasant Hill was forged and it was a night that no-one who was present shall forget easily.  Especially the neighbor's kids downstairs, one of whom is probably in therapy as we speak, the other a newly avowed vegetarian.   But, more, much more than that - it was a damn great big pile of fun and a fitting antidote to a crummy two weeks.  Happy Thanksgiving indeed - and thank God that week is over!!