Ro(u)te Learning: 

Catchy Carpark Catechisms to Captivate, Counsel and Comfort

Ahhh....SF.  How I love thee.  May you live long and prosper.  I know its been a ridiculously long time since my last post   so, to make amends, I thought I'd share just a quick one with you tonight from an excursion Lori and I took back in the summer last year.   This was still during the throes of the Get Lean and Loopyliscious Challenge where I'd failed in my mission that week and the forfeit de jour was a trip to the Conservatory of Flowers.  Alas, Lori and I had taken ages to get our arses in gear, so we were driving through town, hungry, a little out of sorts and not really in the mood to go slog our way over to the other side of town, through the crazy Saturday afternoon traffic, to search for a 100% guaranteed-impossible to find vacant parking spot.

So instead, we said bollocks to that plan and instead decided to cut our losses with the traffic in North Beach, with the plan to head over to my spiritual home, The Bubble Lounge, for a long-overdue inaugural visit.  Alas, the Bubble Lounge hadn't yet opened when we got there (and it wasn't even that early - honest!), so instead we headed for another great North Beach landmark instead, the Stinking Rose!  For those of you who haven't heard of this place, its claim to fame is that - as you could probably guess - absolutely everything on the menu has garlic in it.  Yes.  Even dessert.   As its been a while ago, unfortunately i cant remember what exactly i had to eat but I do recall it wasn't all that brilliant and it was horrendously overpriced for what it was, so needless to say, neither of us will be back.  But, it was One of Those Experiences I can now check off my Overpriced and Overrated Restaurants list, so not all was lost.

Anyway, the whole point of this very quick blog (yes - I KNOW i still owe you all the Festive Digestive Digest - its coming!) was to share with you something I've never seen before in any city anywhere else in the world but here, in SF.  This was in the parking garage in North Beach that we found some space to park in and I thought they were just fab, so here they are for you to enjoy too.  Feel free to add your own pearls of wisdom too.....

...and a great cosmetic surgeon

Yes, Mumsie - I know, I know - I still need to buy
my earthquake preparedness kit....

And what your head can't overrule....

Nope.  Leave that to Match.com and Angry Birds.

Umm.. depends how much of a sucky friend you are, I guess...

Plus a Lot of Chocolate and A Fridge full of Champagne

Dammit.  In a nutshell, why procrastination sucks.
  But - hang on - if you think too long about undoing something,
 will that then undo the undoing and then result in it doing -
without you actually having to do anything?  

It's ON!  
Its a Paula Deen vs Tosca Reno Culinary Smackdown!!

Oh, what a difference a (few) day(s) make.  A week is not just a long time in politics, it also turns out to be an interestingly long time in the culinary world too.  Or at least the 10' x 8' part of it that ostensibly belongs to me.

Just over a week ago, I had the pleasure of hosting Chutney Alison, her awesome cousin Anne, bad-ass birders Bob and Bryan and the lovely Ms. Little for dinner.  Pictures and the full menu will follow in a separate blog (a Festive digestive Digest, as it were) and a great time was had by all.  

Ah, fond memories.  So, as I sit here, looking at a half chewed stick of celery that's simply too dull to eat any more of, I'm reminded of the fact that this month really does seem to represent the nadir of the culinary calendar for the year.   January rolls around and everyone is broke, fat, on the wagon and thoroughly miserable about the end of the holidays and about having to go back to work.  Plus, for Mumsie, she is additionally depressed that the constant torrent of holiday movies on Fa-La-La-La-Lifetime thats been eschewing forth since Thanksgiving has finally peaked, purged and exhausted itself.

And so, in an attempt to revoke our membership of the Christmas Chub Club, Mumsie and I have made the Conscious Lifestyle Choice to Eat Clean for the foreseeable future, following Tosca Reno's well-known tome for good health and getting lean and fit.  Her main thesis is no packaged or processed food, limited dairy, lots of fruits, veggies, lean protein and whole grains.  No cheese, chocolate or champagne (meanie).  No rainbows, unicorns, sunshine or small kittens.  And combine clean eating with lifting weights, a sprinkling of good genetics and *pow* bikini body championships can be yours for the taking.

Me, I'd just settle for being able to do the top button on my skirt up again.

So, here it is.  A visual illustration, if any were needed, as to why cooking in December ROCKS and cooking in January SUCKS!  If someone invites you to dinner in January, think very very carefully before accepting....

Cooking in December -
Paula Deen's Oooey Gooey Butter Layer cake

Cooking in January -
Tosca Reno's Eat Clean Sprouted Barley and Kale Soup

Scores on the culinary doors:
Paula Deen:  Contains so much butter, cream cheese and sour cream, it nearly qualifies as a meat dish, consisting, as it does, almost entirely of solid cow products.  Rumored to be single-handedly responsible for Ms. Deen's Type 2 diabetes, there are a staggering total of SIX cups of sugar in this bad boy sentinel of sweetness.  Truly a fiendishly festive folly of fat.  Delish and oh so naughty.

Tosca Reno:  Incredibly clean, healthy, packed full of life-enhancing vitamins and minerals and more kale than is probably legal in the state of California.  Tastes like it looked.  Bad.  Not even the addition of Philly cream cheese, peas and some kick-ass jalapeno chutney could save this sucker.  I guess I'm just grateful i'm no longer doing KSCC, otherwise I'd have no choice but to eat this for days on end.

Sorry, Tosca.  I'm afraid you lost this round.

Its a technological miracle!  Mumsie learns the Facebook chat function!!

#OMG #whodhavethoughtit? #nooneissafenow

Yes - as shocking as the revelation that the world didn't end on Dec 21st and that the Mayans were actually involved in a millennial-in-the-making Ponzi scheme targeting Doomsday Preppers and with dubious investments in multiple Emergency Food companies, is the OTHER story that is, tonight, sending shockwaves large enough to make the San Andreas fault blush.

Mumsie is now on Facebook.

And, if that didn't quite rock your world enough, tonight, for the very first time, I can reveal to the world that Mumsie finally learnt how to use the Facebook chat function.  It was really quite special.  

Here it is, in all its glory.  A Moment of History.