Other assorted Best Bits - Part 1

So its been two weeks now since I returned home to Chicago from my fabulous long Christmas vacation in Cyprus with the folks.  Somehow, it already feels like a lot longer. This blog post is to mop up all the other cool stuff that I got up to with my folks back home and is shamelessly dedicated to my sis and her two awesome boys. I miss you guys already - hopefully it wont be another two years before I see you all again!!  Anyway, here's Part 1 of the best of the rest.... 

Tea leave-ing 

Right then.  Last things first.  On the night before I was due to fly home, I made myself a cup of tea while packing (of course).  After I finished the tea, I was just about to wash the cup up when I peered into the bottom and saw.....

Come back soon?

.....Cyprus!!  Yes - the tea stain looks uncannily like a map of the island which, if I believed in the celestial above, I could take as a sign for something.  But, as I don't, I'm afraid any higher message was completely lost on me.  I did, however, use it as a very handy excuse not to do the washing-up after all but, instead, leave it for my beloved sister to do after I'd left.  I'm sure she thought fond thoughts of me the whole time... (thanks, sis!)

Northern Cyprus Parking

One of the particular "charms" of Northern Cyprus is the truly atrocious driving practiced by everyone on the island, combined with parking "skills" whose main characteristic is an utter and complete disregard for general logic, spatial awareness or, basically, anything.  Turkish Cyps just do not give a flying rats ass where they park, whether they are in the lines or not, or whether they block you from getting out.  They are also pathologically lazy (think Florida or LA) and will attempt to park as close as physics allows to their intended destination, so they don't have to wear out their precious little legs by *shock horror* actually walking anywhere.

Not so much parked as abandoned....

I guess after a couple of weeks of being bombarded by such terrifically insouciant behavior, it can start to rub off on you, as evidenced by the photo below.  I had a little white hire car for 3 days while I was in Cyprus (thanks Dad!) and used it to mainly shuttle to and from Mum's house and Villa Ten Ten, as well as few trips to the shops to buy Heinz Salad Cream and my body weight in Cadbury's Dairy Milk.  I'd just parked up outside Mum's - and felt I just had to capture the moment.  I'm not sure whether it was Cyprus Parking or rampant indecision about which spot to park in, but I somehow managed to successfully avoid parking in any of them and instead leave my car parked in a fantastically cheeky manner.  Fortunately its a dead-end, with the only traffic likely impacted to be a flock (herd?) of passing, jingle-bell-y goats.  I was really quite impressed with myself, in a mildly horrified kind of way, but fortunately the car was returned to the car shop the next day, and I returned myself to the US before such wickedly atrocious habits could set in permanently.....

Buffavento Buffet!

Loopy indulging in that favorite age-old sport of Teenager Baiting.
Thomas is trying his best to remain stalwart....

As the end of my holiday drew close (*sniff sniff*), I wanted to take Louise and the boys out for a special lunch to celebrate my whole trip, the time we'd spent together and try to annoy them so much they'd be glad to see the back of me.  I'm not sure we quite achieved all our objectives (I'm just too damned lovable, thats my problem) but we did discover a fab restaurant that is definitely on the list to go back to on a future visit.

It was Loopy's choice for our lunch venue, so she picked the Buffavento restaurant - a traditional place with Turkish kebabs, meze and the like.  So far, so good - but the cool thing about this place is that its nestled right at the very top of the "Five Finger" mountain range (no, I'm not making that up though its proper name is the Besparmak mountain range).  Its tucked away by the side of the road, just where it crests over the top of the mountains and you start to descend again, down towards the sea.  Its always served as a very fond milestone on that first drive back from the airport that we're almost home and we'll soon be there!

Eren checks out the feast,  preparing to dive into the world's
biggest pita bread....

Its also a place then that - until our visit - we've driven past for 10 years and never been inside! (kind of the culinary equivalent of your local museum,  I guess).  So anyway, off to Buffavento we went, me driving my little white car with the full intent of using as much gas as I possibly could, seeing as the hire car company had delivered it empty and running on fumes, and I'd had to put in 20 TL worth of petrol. (that's just so typical of Northern Cyprus right there - you run a car hire company, then "forget" to put any gas in it when you deliver it to the customer- assclowns!).

It was an absolutely charming place - very rustic and log cabin-y, complete with roaring fireplaces, wood-lined walls (and ceilings!) and brightly colored woven woollen blankets, draped here and there.  The whole vibe was completely reminiscent of the El Tovar lodge, at the rim of the Grand Canyon, similarly adorned and beautifully basic.  Despite the fire places, it was a bit chilly (we were also seated right next to the windows, as you can see - great for views but a bit drafty!) but the views were fabulous, especially as the earlier morning cloud had given way to completely clear views across the mountains.  The food was pretty good too, especially the massive flatbread thing that was almost as big as Eren! I tried to resist its seductive aromas but, alas, I caved in.  I may be completely awesome but I am, after all, still human.  With the caveat that Thomas needs to chose differently next time (alas, poor manipedi!), its definitely one we'll come back to!

Rustic flava!

The external walls are actually all made from matchsticks.  Its
an incredible feat of engineering.  All true.

Public transport is a bit ropey, though.

Fabulous view of the Five Finger (count 'em!) mountains

Parachuting turtles try to escape the
oncoming blaze.  Or something.

Look, Ma!  We're on top of the worrrrrrrld!!!

Life - and Death - imitates Art 

EDDIE!!!!  You need to read this - NOW!!!  

Crumbs! This really happened!!  Takes the
biscuit if you ask me.....

And - for those of you who don't get this reference - watch this..... Eddie is and always will be my comedy hero.  Rather an ignominious way to go, though (I wonder if police have ever ruled IN foul play in the case of cake deaths?) but I guess at least she died happy. 

Unless it was traditional Northern Cyprus cake.  In which case she probably died mildly disappointed and still trying to work out exactly what the flavor was....

CatMaggedon

If Alfred Hitchcock were to remake The Birds, but using felines, I think the final scene before the protagonist meets their sticky, clawed and pawed end would look something like this.  Its like a Cat Infinity Mirror - it never ends.  Schrodinger would be having a heart attack...

Self-replicating cats!! EVERYWHERE!!  

*******ERRATUM*****

Due to the optical illusion and gravitational shift brought on by some many cats in close proximity, I discovered an error on my previous Cat Census hopscotch post and - can you believe this? - actually missed one!!  Yep, I completely forgot about the grey one - he's pretty magnificent - but I can't now remember his name!!  My sincerest apologies to grey cat - sorry old chap.  Honestly, though, you can't blame me - two weeks on and ELEVEN cats names to remember?   I need that brain space to try and remember everyone's birthday's....

Cat No.11 looking all moody and broody.  And really
quite fluffy.  All at the same time.  Its a tricky look to pull off.

Square egg, round hole

To be perfectly honest, there's not really a huge amount to do in Northern Cyprus.  We tend to make our own entertainment (as evidenced by the Reindeer Massive - more on that in Part 2) and below is a perfect example.  As described in an earlier post, one of my top 10 pressies this year was this fabulousity- an Amazing Square Egg Maker.  This contraption is impressive for a whole host of reasons.  Firstly, I am in deep admiration for whoever wrote the copy on the back (click on the picture and it'll enlarge so you can read it properly) - I've been in those meetings, back on the agency side, where you are desperately searching for something, anything, to hang onto as a hook and tell a convincing story.  I just had to imagine the brainstorming (or pot smoking or excessive drinking) that went on to come up with this little lot.  Pure and simple advertising magic.

Promises, promises....

Frustrated by boiled eggs rolling around when you try to slice them?  I'm incredibly frustrated.  
Disappointed to find corners of your egg sandwich empty?  I am devastated and can hardly find the strength to continue the day.
Help is at hand!  Thank GOD!
Just make square eggs!  Oh wow!  That's simply Amazing.  I no longer feel disappointed or frustrated by my sandwich fillings at all.  Why didn't I think of that?  I could have been rich!  

Secondly, it actually works!!  And, whats more, we captured the whole thing just for you!  So now you can enjoy the glory that is the Amazing Square Egg Maker and watch a bona fide miracle unfold before your very eyes.

Warning: some people may find the images below disturbing.  Viewer discretion advised.

How I long for corner-to-corner sandwich filling....

The lovely Loopy and the Test Subject

I would like to say that no eggs were harmed in the
making of this, however....

In it goes..... ready for its transformation....

Putting the squeeze on.....
And then we wait.

Oh.  Right.  This is one of me and a
tiny plastic goose.

Umm.....

FINALLY!!! Its ready!!  And LOOK!  What
are THOSE?  Are they CORNERS??

OMG.  It actually worked!!  Cool, huh?

And, just to prove this was not some high-faluting, Photoshopping trickery designed to impress and amaze you all, we all made a little video to PROVE the claim that we had, indeed, stopped our egg from Rolling About.

And thus concludes Part 1 of our Best Bits.   Part 2 to follow shortly....  Now, where did I leave that sandwich....

Cat hopscotch....

....alas, does not work.  While the concept may be, indeed, brilliant, it is, in fact, totally impossible to implement.  I know this because I spent a half hour devising, revising and finally demising said game this afternoon.  Not sure what inspired me to come up with the idea.  I blame my New Year's Resolution of giving up alcohol, caffeine and sugar in preparation for this summer's Big Adventure. Nothing says "cat hopscotch" as much as a sudden paucity of Cadbury Roses Strawberry Dreams in your system.

Now this will be a fairly short blog, primarily cos I only have 48 mins of battery life left in my computer and I can't be arsed to go and get the power lead.  Its all the way over there and the exercise part of my resolution starts tomorrow, so til then, you're stuck with a quickie.

The topic of said short missive?  The ever-multiplying, blink and there's another one, pack of fornicating felines collectively known as The Cats of Villa Ten Ten.  Well, OK - perhaps that is a little harsh - of the currently TEN (TEN!) members of the furry troope, only two still retain the capacity for reproduction.  One (Perry) because he's the most recent addition to the gang, still in the awkward between-kitten years, so too young for The Visit.  The other, Poon Star, a wily old bugger of a black cat who somehow managed to evade capture in his early years for bollocks-choppage, so now seems to have earned his rite of passage and gets to keep them - and the lady cats of the surrounding neighborhood perpetually up the fluff.

So...with that short pre-amble, its my pleasure to introduce to you more cats per square inch than is probably legal....

Going for his third consecutive win in the Stupidest
Cat Competition, its Batty!  Favorite trick - running
in front of the car to force you to stop and say hello.

The little purry kitten, Perry, and his adoptive father
Harvey.  Sometimes its hard to tell which one is
Perry and which one is the rubbish bin.

Umm... I think this one is TT

I'd hazard a guess at Batty again, sneaking in for a second portrait
photo by pretending to be his mum, Princess (aka The Bitch).  Or it
could be Princess.

OK - this one is easy - its Scraggy

And the old gentleman of the group, from the original Villa Ten Ten
Gang of Four, its George

Right then.  Dodgy eye so this one has to be Harvey

I know this one looks identical to the one above it
but I'm assured this is, indeed, a different cat.
Named Shushy, no less.

For some reason, this one is called Ginge.

And... last, but not least, the only cat who gets
invited in for a dish of milk each night, its
Poon Star!

So then, with all our furry players now identified, let the worlds First Ever (and Last Ever) Game of Cat Hopscotch begin!!  I won't bore you with the rules (because I'd then have to make them up) but a thrilling time was had by all.  Only mild bribery was required until the cats, and me, got bored and wandered off.

Which you, dear blogwatcher, are also now at liberty to do...  

Loopy - did I get them all right? (Or have you acquired any more in the 48 minutes its taken me to write this ultimately pointless blog post?)

The original and - some might say, quite dull -
childhood game of hopscotch.  Obviously sketched
out by someone who hasn't played for several decades..
(ahem)

The whistle blows to signify the start of the game
 and the players flood the pitch.

Cat hopscotch in full throttle.  A purring success.
Just ignore those little crunchy bits they appear to be
eating,  Nope, no cheating at all here....They're just
the equivalent of half-time oranges for cats, is all....

A disturbance in the crowd distracts TT from his 

And the winner of Best Christmas Pressie Award 2014 goes to......

....Wait for it.....

Well, I can't just tell you straightaway now, can I?  Where's the fun in that?   Like all good award ceremonies, there has to be a little ramble pre-amble first - the dull bits you have to get through just to see if Benedict Cumberbatch has won Best Actor in the 2015 Oscars (you heard it here first folks.... you're welcome, Ben).

Firstly, though, in non-festive notable notes of note since my last blog entry: I got the job! (well, to be more precise, I successfully interviewed for the job I'd been doing since August and was re-hired - huzzah!  I survived the re-org!  And... watch this space.... i may also have gotten a promotion too!!). It was certainly a very nice phone call to receive yesterday, so sod off 2014 and yey for welcoming 2015 in style - it certainly promises to be an auspicious year, if that's a sign of things to come!!

Anyway, I've been blogging a bit about some of the fun things I've been getting up to since arriving here in Northern Cyprus (I'dve blogged a bit more, but i've been too busy having fun.  And eating.  Lots of fun eating.  Sorry Christopher...).  I've been here just over 2 weeks now and am entering into that bittersweet phase of any family trip/reunion when you have to start to become more aware of what day it is, and you can describe your departure date as "next" something.  As of writing, I only have another 4 days til I'm on the plane heading back to EFFING FREEZING CHICAGO (its forecast to be minus NINETEEN degrees Celsius (3F) when I land on Monday - that's just downright rude) so I figured I'd better get cracking and crank out a few blogs before heading back into work next week (i'm not ready! I'm not ready!).

Before.  Pressies for all ranged underneath the tree.

So....you have a choice: blogs in the hopper include: The Cats of Villa Ten Ten, The Uncommon Delights of Dubious Bazaar and Other Cyprus Shopping Experiences, Santa and his Reindeer Massive Take Girne Harbour (2015 NYE special), Bowled Over (a tale of teen angst and triumph over ten-pin tragedy) or The Pressie That Won Christmas?

What's that? Christmas first?  Oh, go on then.  I know you are all DYING to know what I got as a Chrissy pressie from Dubious Bazaar.  And I will tell you, all in good time..... but first... a note or two about the finer details of a Holloway Family Christmas....  (pre-amble, pre-amble...)

Right.  Food traditions first. Well, for us, we've always had our main Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve, not Christmas day itself.  The reason for this is pretty simple.  By having the main meal the day before, Mumsie (or the chef de jour - in this case, Loopy) doesn't have to spend all day on Christmas day in the kitchen slaving over a hot brussel sprout, but instead, can participate fully in Pressie Fest, enjoying watching the kids opening their Xmas stockings (and Eren and Thomas too).  It works out very well each year - we do the traditional roast turkey with all the trimmings (a million different types of veggie cos, frankly, that's the whole point of it right?) on Xmas Eve then, on Xmas day itself, cook a joint of beef and have that with the leftovers from the day before.  Boxing Day, we were round at Mumsie's for lunch, so she'd cooked lots of yummy things too  - resulting in bonza double leftovers!  Yey!!  Bring on the roasties and bread sauce!

Our traditions re opening our pressies are equally simple - book and PJs on Xmas eve for all, then stocking (or giant sack/pillow case depending on pressie size/shape/volume) pressies in the morning (but ONLY after the holy trinity of Christmas tasks were finished (cats fed, fire lit, tea made) - its amazing how quickly you can get all those things done as an over-excited six yr old!) followed by tree pressies later on in the morning/day.  The exact timing of Tree Pressies was always a variable from year-to-year, adding an element of frission to proceedings, as my sister and I vied to be the coolest and feign indifference as to when the pressies should be opened that year. ("oh - after lunch? sure, no biggie to me - i don't mind - totally cool - whenever really") - translation: AFTER LUNCH?!! ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME?!!!  YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE!!!  OPEN THEM NOW, NOW, NOW!!!).

After.  Christmas carnage and a Thunderbirds Tracy Island
emerges triumphant from the decorative debris.....

Each year, someone is nominated as Tree Pressie Hand-er Out-er where you take on the heavy responsibility of making sure that everyone's gifts are handed out a) to the right people and b) in the right order.  You don't want to - shock horror - hand out the Finale Pressie too early or the suspense you are carefully building towards that moment will be lost and the donor of said Finale Pressie will be jolly cross.

You also have to juggle the order about such that everyone seems to be getting a pressie in turn - but have to artfully adjust your giving sequence to account for the inevitable fact that not everyone has the same number of pressies.  Its usually Dad who draws the short straw on this one (sorry, Dad, but you shouldn't be so damned difficult to buy for) but I know that I caused Mumsie to become almost obsessive-compulsive about checking that Loopy and I had EXACTLY the same number of sack pressies and tree pressies, lest a certain younger offspring become all pouty should the delicate balance of festive offerings fall out of sync.  I remember, though, on a couple of occasions (when I was a lot younger and more devious than I am now) of deliberately slowing down opening my sack pressies so that I would have more left at the end and experience the glory of still opening pressies once Loopy had already finished!   Sorry about that, Mumsie - you did count correctly all those years, it was just me being a d*ck.  Quack.

OK - so here's a weird/funny thing about Christmas pressies that I've noticed.  Do you find that, no matter how many pressies you open (little ones, big ones, expensive ones, cheap and cheerful ones, lots of them, fewer of them (but obviously more than one, or this anecdote won't work), that - on Christmas day - you find yourself coming back to the same pressie to "play" with for the rest of the day?

For me this year (for you never know which of your pressies will turn out to be The One), the pressie I kept coming back to was one given to me by Mumsie, an Extreme Dot to Dot book (Around the USA) edition which included puzzles with over 1,400 dots!!!  That's a lotta dots, i can tell you.  Not sure exactly why that gift, out of all the bounty I'll share with you in a minute, was the one that grabbed my attention, but it did.  At time of writing, I've dot-to-dotted my way around New York City, Yosemite valley, Mount Rushmore and am currently engaged in a epic join-up-jaunt round Gettysburg Battlefield, complicated only by unfortunate fact that Mount Rushmore's dots have bled back into my current puzzle page, such that I'm now trying to navigate about 1,700 dots, about 900 of which are faux dots.  I'm now having to spot-the-dot - no wonder the book is dubbed "extreme".  I'm exhausted.

For Eren (my youngest nephew), the pressie de jour was a bright pink toy washing machine.  A very good choice, I felt.  Start 'em young and then, when they're old enough, send 'em on over to do my laundry/cleaning/hoovering etc etc....

However, on the roster list of Phenomenal Pressies that I received this year, while the dot-to-dammit-thats-not-the-real-one-dot book consumed much of my time on Christmas day, it did not make the Top Five list for the Best Christmas Pressie Award for 2014.  It certainly made the top 10 but, as you'll see below, competition was particularly stiff this year, given my sister has had a full 2 years worth of DB dodginess to monitor weekly, ready to pounce when The Perfect Gift surfaces.

And so, in reverse order (count 'em), I'm proud to present my pick for the Best Pressies Awards, starting with...

Number 5: Square Boiled Egg Maker (not pictured; currently in kitchen sink)
A handy gadget every kitchen needs to ensure your egg sandwiches are filled in the most eggscellently efficient manner possible.  Its no yolk.  Can't be beaten.  You shell all be wanting one of these.

Number 4: Musical Mosque Alarm clock
Complete with morning or day-time prayer settings, this ululating delight is a stylish time-piece for any home. Coincidentally co-ordinates with my bedroom color scheme too, so Allah-s, no excuse for it not to be on proud display when I get home.

I daren't put a caption on this one.

Number 3: NERF gun
How could I not have been aware of the awesomeness of the NERF gun?  I have since discovered that running round the garden outside trying to shoot your 17-yr old and 5-yr old nephews with foam pellets is the best way to work off those excess holiday calories.  Alas, Thomas had been given the Pro version, the sniper NERF gun, which fired from a 10-15m distance and made a rather alarmingly accurate whistling sound as it hurtled towards your face.  First blood, Thomas, but I'll get ya next time.....

Bring it ON!

Number 2: Moouriel the Velour Cow
Oh, Moouriel.  I knew the first time I saw you, standing alone and forlorn on the shelf at Dubious Bazaar, that we were destined to be together.  And my Christmas prayers (unrelated to number 4) were answered as you turned up under the Christmas tree, moo-ing softly to me and promising me unlimited supplies of Milka chocolate.  I think we are going to get along famooo-usly.

So soft and stroke-able. Lovely Mooouriel.

AND THE WINNER IS........

Number 1: Musical, Light-up Battery Powered Dolphin
I challenge ANYONE ANYWHERE* to come up with a gift more awesome than this one.  Words can not describe its sheer magnificence, so I will leave it to the Power of YouTube instead.   Christmas - DONE!  Suddenly, that song seems to make a whole lot more sense.....

* Terms and conditions apply.  Applicants must not live within easy shopping distance of Dubious Bazaar, nr Girne, Northern Cyprus.

While not on the LSD Dolphin-Level, there were some other notable Christmas pressies and experiences enjoyed by all - here are a few more snapshots from our fab family festive festivities!  I hope you and yours had as much fun as we all did - MERRY (belated) CHRISTMAS!!

Xmas brekkie of bagels, smoked salmon & cream cheese - nice
to see Loopy doing it NYC-style!!

For a bathtub that's bigger on the inside, just add Tardis shower
curtain

Tardis Yahtzee with Loopy scoring a RIDICULOUS
one-throw Cyberman-powered Yahtzee!  In one go, I tell you!!

This is a board game about who can adopt the most cats.
Even then, Loopy almost sweeps the board.  There is no doubt
that Loopy is Cat Lady Supreme.

Notable runner-up: Weeping Angel snow globe

Your guess is as good as mine on this one.  Look carefully at the box.
The "mystery bump-grind action" promised on the side is the reason
I daren't put the batteries in....

BONUS!!  Boxing Day round at Mumsie's and more pressies!!
(Spot a few of Loopy's Xmas day haul....)

Thomas and Eren eye up the pressie stash

Mumsie and Dad 

Methinks Santa was stacking the deck with his NERF gun pressies
this year.  I never stood a chance....

And THIS is what a totally surprised and enraptured
teenager looks like, as Thomas receives a completely
unexpected top-of-the-line iPad 2 Air

Eren hard at work.  Get to it, young man - i'll have some walk-in
closets needing installing in about 12 months time.