Naked Genius
No, I'm not referring to myself, so you can all just settle back down.  I was inspired in these random musings by a weekend visit to the Genius Bar at the Apple store in Union Square in San Francisco.  The reason for my visit was the continued technological fall-out from (re)discovering that computers and liquids don't mix. As a result of completely buggering up my work Mac, I'd been given an old colleague's machine - only problem was that the battery life, unplugged, was only about an hour.  Not terribly useful for someone who does as much travel as I do.  My request for a new machine was pretty much laughed at (I think i'm on IT's blacklist) and instead I was instructed to get a new battery for it.  So, here I was.  Sunday morning, 10am and waiting for my appointment with a bona fide genius.  I also took the opportunity to bring my iPad in for them to check out as well, as it had been acting up and I wanted to see if I could upgrade the operating system on it.

Fascinating stuff so far, right?

Anyway, as I sat at the Genius Bar ("ice and a slice with your genius, madam?") my mind started to wander and ponder.  And i would like to ask you, blog-watchers, does anyone else feel completely stupid the minute they step into an Apple Store?  Or is it just me??  Does anyone else feel completely inadequate and barely able to remember how to form words when aforementioned Genius asks you the dreaded question "So, what appears to be the problem?".

Genius: "So, what appears to be the problem?"

Me:  "Its my iPad.  Its really slow and I can't seem to get it linked to the cloud-thingy"

Genius: "OK.  Did you try updating the operating software?"

Me:  "Well, yes - I think so.  Umm... I think I tried it but I'm not sure"

Genius:  "Did you try something that to me will sound completely obvious and the equivalent of asking you if you plugged it in and switched it on but to you, mere mortal, will sound completely unintelligible and leave you feeling like a rabbit caught in headlights, thus confirming my complete superiority over you in every conceivable way?"

Me:  "...Meeep..."

Are they perhaps called Geniuses not because of their technical prowess and ability to resurrect iPads and iPods from idiot-induced injury or for their skill in installing widgets and fixes, but instead because they can actually manage to figure out what the hell is wrong based on customer responses that amount to little more than grunts.  I think it probably is the equivalent of Shakespeare sitting down with a chimpanzee and a typewriter and managing to translate the primate's random keyboard poundings into Macbeth.  I think Amy Poehler spoke for many of us mere mortals in this ad, aired recently during the Superbowl....when did it all get so damned confusing?

http://www.hulu.com/adzone/452846

So, at least for me, being in an Apple Store is a curious mix of feeling intensely stupid and wanting to shout to the rafters "I DO HAVE A BRAIN - I'M NOT STUPID - I HAVE A GREAT JOB - I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!!" with feeling the siren's lure of seductive new products in sexy packaging that are Oh So Shiny.  I'm sure its that combo of anxiety and excitement that taps into some not-so-hidden part of your psyche that makes you rush to purchase said complex, unintelligible and fundamentally unnecessary product, just to prove to yourself (and whoever might be watching) that YOU are the master of this technology and are not in the least intimidated, dammit.

And to think this is what I do for a living.  I feel suitably complicit in my own anguish.

The other random thought I had as I was sitting at the Bar (i was there for a while) was how much of our lives are on display on our mobile devices (not probably a radical thought, I know) and actually how personal it felt to hand over my iPad to a complete stranger to look at.  It felt like the technological equivalent of a gyne exam.

You know they do it every single day, day in, day out, there's nothing they haven't seen before- and they've probably seen MUCH worse than what's on my iPad - but you still feel somewhat embarrassed.   Why didn't I go through and check my apps beforehand?  What do I have on there?   How many dating site apps are too many?  Is it OK that a 40-year old woman has Prehistoric Park and Plants vs Zombies pegged as favorites?  Is the Genius rushing to judgment about my Gratitude app or my Couch to 5K training app?   Rather than not give a crap about what the Genius is thinking (and I'm sure there are MANY people who wouldn't give two hoots), I was curious as to what internal conclusions he was reaching about me and my life, based on my mobile entertainment choices and information sources.  Maybe he was so bored out of his mind that he wasn't drawing any conclusions at all.  But i'd be surprised if that was the case as making snap judgments on others based on what we see is part of human nature.  I'm reading this fascinating book at the moment (given to me by some bona fide geniuses) called "Snoop - What Your Stuff Says About You" which is all about how, simply by looking at someone's belongings, their decorating choices, what they choose to display on their desks at work or on the fridge at home, you can learn some of the most essential components of our personality - from friendliness and flexibility to openness and originality.   I'm about a third of the way in and am very curious to find out what my stuff is projecting to the world about me! (its also a very useful skill to develop when you've just starting dating someone and get invited over to their house...)

The final thought I had (after moving through the emotional spectrum of anxiety, stupidity, embarrassment and resignation) was somewhat more outwardly directed.  I finally started to wonder just what it must feel like to actually BE one of the Geniuses in the Genius Bar in the Apple Store.  And then, specifically, what it must feel like to be one of the Geniuses in the Genius Bar in the Apple Store in San Francisco, center of the white-hot tech universe.  I already talked in a previous blog about how the tecchie gadzillionaire overachieving twenty-somethings and app developers can make the rest of us non-techhie mere mortals feel like under-achieving has-beens (http://sazzinthecity.blogspot.com/2012/11/the-occasional-trials-of-working-in.html), but I wondered what it must feel like to be publicly labeled a "Genius" in a town full of computing wunderkinds and trailblazers.   I wonder whether the potential feelings of superiority a Genius may feel over a techhie numpty like me may get overshadowed by feelings of inadequacy they would have about themselves in a self-imagined conversation with such technological titans (ie if you're such a genius, why didn't you invent Lyft or Dropbox and make millions and millions of dollars?  If you're such a genius, why are you still working in a shop?").  And so, just for a fleeting moment, I felt something close to empathy for the Genius - and then, as quickly as the average brand lifecycle of the latest iPhone, it was gone again.

Time for me and my Blackberry to get out of there...

I AM The Biggest Loser!
Greetings, blog watchers!  Ahhh....now this is going to be rather amusing for you all.  You should get a kick out of this one.

Following my return trip from Maui last week, I had a couple of days in San Francisco (sleep in my own bed!!  do my laundry!  think about doing my taxes!   procrastinate about doing my taxes!   fail to take my dry cleaning to the front desk!  and so much more to get round to doing later!) before heading off for a very quick 2 day trip to Chicago for market research.  Fly out Weds, fly back Thursday night.

The flight was good (I got complementary upgrades both ways - yey for 1K!), the market research was excellent (the folk doing the research were SERIOUS geniuses - absolutely amazing) and Chicago was FECKING FREEZING!!!  Holy crap.  As I was only going to be in the city just long enough for Jack Bauer to find and disarm a complex nuclear terrorist organization, I hadn't packed my full-on winter gear - i had my long puffy coat, but no gloves, scarf or hat with flappy ears.  Which, as I stood outside the W Hotel, Thursday morning, in a line of 10 people waiting for a cab in the 35 degree cold, I reflected may not have been the best laid mouse plan.  By the time a cab finally rocked up, I was a human popsicle - ironically, my destination was less than a mile away so I could probably have walked it and been a whole lot warmer.  Or I'd walk it with the assistance of Blackberry maps, get horribly lost and then my frozen body would lay undiscovered til the Spring thaw.

So, a cab was probably still a better option.

Anyway, melodrama aside, I got back around 1am Friday morning, ready to then head off to Sacramento late Friday afternoon as I had been convinced (not sure when this happened or how) to take part in The St Paddy's Day Biggest Loser's 5k run/walk event!

http://biggestloserrunwalk.com/Sacramento-CA-2013-5K-KidsRace

I think when i signed up for this event, I thought i would be much further advanced in my training for the Bay to Breakers run thats coming up fast (and which - Sarah Little - I'm giving you advance notice I may end up bailing on) but i am, as of yet, precisely NOWHERE in my training.  Its a little tough to train for a road race when you spend the majority of your waking hours in an airplane.  So, anyway, rather than run the 5K me and a mate (who shall forthwith be referred to as Unidentified Friend A to spare her from ribbing at work from her colleagues....) had agreed we'd probably walk it, maybe break out into a light jog here and there.  At the very least, I wouldn't be running it dressed as a traffic cone, so at least that was one thing going in my favor.

So, getting ready to leave the house on Friday afternoon, I had been on back to back teleconferences all day and was on my final call of the day as I was packing all my gear to leave (dont worry - it was a non-work call - it was with my Co-Director of Programs for the HBA, so we were chatting about the evening events we have coming up and a variety of other administrative and logistical stuff).    So I probably wasn't thinking all that precisely about what i'd need for the race, but I chucked everything I could think of at the time into my overnight bag and headed out the door to go pick up UF-A, who lives about 30mins out of the city, and then continue on to Sacramento.

We actually made great time, managed to avoid the worst of the traffic and so arrived by 5pm at the Sheraton Grand, in downtown Sacramento.  Because of all the traveling I've been doing, I've managed to accumulate a fair number of SPG Starpoints, so had booked a twin double completely on points!!  Bonza!!!  And, what was even better, was that the hotel was only about a 5 min cab ride away from the  starting point/check-in point for the race.  Maximum sleep time before having to get up at 6am, ready to leave the hotel at 7am for an 8am race time - ugh!!

To make sure we were fighting fit for the morning, we then had a quick snooze to recharge after a stressful/busy week before hauling our asses downstairs to the lobby bar and restaurant for dinner.  There was a California Teacher's conference going on in the hotel, so the bar was full of scruffy, disheveled-looking bookish types - a veritable smorgasbord of people watching.  After dinner, we retired back to our room for a quiet evening of looking for cool places for our next adventure (campsite with Human Nest anyone?) before then setting the alarms for 5.50am to get up for the race.

I had a crappy night's sleep.

I'm not sure if it was the early little impromptu nap that threw me off, or a too late dinner, or the incessant farting of UF-A that kept me awake all night*, but I really didn't feel as if I got much sleep at all.  UF-A felt the same too so, as the alarm went off, we both agreed to hit snooze for another few minutes, and then spring into action at 6.15am.  As long as we left the hotel by 6.45am, we'd be fine.

So, another few minutes sleep and then it really was time to get out of bed.  I stumbled up, put some coffee on to brew, got dressed into my running gear - and then realized I had completely forgotten to pack anything warmer than a long-sleeved running top.  No thermal jacket, no hat, no gloves, no scarf - nothing except two fairly thin layers (the Curse of the Chicago Cock-Up strikes again!).   And - as I sat on the loo having a pee (i know, I know - TMI), I started to wonder, for the first time, about the temperature in Sacramento at 7am and whether, perhaps, it might be a bit, well, cold.

Apparently, UF-A was having the exact same thought and was similarly as completely unprepared as I was.  Enthusiasm further undermined by the shit night's sleep we both had, we looked at each other as UF-A stated what was both on our minds.....  "well.... we could just say "F*ck it" and go back to bed and have a lie-in instead".

Hmm, I thought.  Yes.  Yes, we could.

BUT how to rationalize such a decision such that we're not then just complete lazy bums?  So, that's when I declared "well then....given neither of us packed warm clothing and I don't want to freeze to death, why don't you look up what the current temperature is.  If it is less than 50 degrees, then to hell with it, back to bed".

UF-A agreed.

UF-A dug out her smartphone and punched in "temperature in sacramento right now".  After a few seconds, the search completed and the current weather stats came up.  Poker face in place, she turned the screen round so I could see.....

48 degrees.

BOOYAH!!   2 degrees under and we were off the hook!!  With a whoop of joy and with a feeling like we were bunking off class (I blame the influence of all the teachers in the building!), we fairly dove back into our respective warm and cosy beds, switched off the light and happily headed back into the land of Nod, rather than to the race site.

Yes, we had, indeed, driven for 2 hours to Sacramento, to then utterly fail to participate in a 5K run/walk that we'd signed up for.  Biggest Losers?  Yep.  Nailed it.

Post-"race" hydration with UF-A and
our good friend, Piper and his mate, caffeine

But we didn't care and thoroughly enjoyed the rest of our time in Sacramento, before heading home mid-afternoon.  We had a very lazy morning, finally managing to drag our arses out for a delicious brunch and post-"race" rehydration.  As we then wandered round the less dodgy parts of town, we walked past a theatre where I discovered that Don Williams (I think i confessed in a previous blogpost a very uncool love of country music - and he is my hero) is playing in Sacramento in April.  It was especially exciting to see as I didn't think he was still alive (although it is around Easter time, so you never know....).  I then went and got a blow-dry (have another date tomorrow) while UF-A got a manicure.  My blow-out sucked (but at least was uber-cheap) while UF-A's manicure rocked.  Walking along K Street and H Street, we saw some fab old houses as well as a couple of bronze cougar statues that, for some reason, we felt the need to go say hello to.  That and a couple of very cute mini-Daschunds and it was a very pleasant stroll in the Saturday morning sunshine.

Cougars bonding

Awww... still smarter than Dylan...

UF-A and her big cat

Then, there's was nothing else left to do, but go back to the hotel, pick up our stuff and check out, before wending our way back to UF-A's undisclosed location and to home, sweet home, in San Francisco.  It wasn't perhaps the trip we'd originally planned, but it WAS a hell of a lot of fun!  Here's to the next fun adventure!!

* not entirely true

Top Chef and Top Banana: Final Maui Musings 

So to round out my whistle-stop tour of Maui, after having fried with the whales, it was time to go and indulge one of my other great loves aside from travel – my addiction to Top Chef!

For those of you who don’t follow Top Chef or don’t get it where you are, it’s a reality-type cooking contest, where every week, the Cheftestants have to complete various cooking challenges of varying randomness and ridiculousness.  Its now in its tenth season and has had its ups and downs as a show (last year’s was the worst and bitchiest ever) but this season was pretty good, except for the heinous early elimination of one of the best chefs and front-runner, Kristen.  (Padma – YOU need to pack your knives and go!)  But, in a triumphant validation, (SPOILER ALERT!) Kristen managed to battle her way back into the competition and ended up winning the whole thing!   Yey, Team Kristen!! 

Noodling for noodles

Anyway, one of the other finalists was this really nice bloke called Sheldon who was as impressive for his demeanor as for his demi-glace.  After the incredible back-biting and sheer nastiness of the cheftestants from last year, it was really refreshing to see chefs who weren’t completely up their own arses or relying on screwing over other people to get ahead in the competition (notable exceptions – John (a complete tool) and Josie (lazy and loud)).  Sheldon managed to balance the obvious ego and confidence you need as a chef with an appropriate dose of humility and gratitude that marked him out as an all-around Top Bloke.   So, given his restaurant was in Lahaina, where I’d just been to watch the whales and gently crispen in the sunshine, it would have been rude not to have paid him a visit. 

I think most of the rest of the island’s population (local and tourist alike) had the same idea!   Ay carumba.  There’s the power of being on a reality show right there for getting the hordes to visit your restaurant!!  I haven’t had to wait that long to get seated since I left Manhattan!!  Checking in at the Maitre D’s desk, I was told the wait was “at least an hour” but I thought, sod it, when am I going to be here again so bit the bullet, put my name down on the list and headed back 

Starry noodles

outside to wait. 

Fortunately, it was still a glorious day – about 6pm by this stage, so the sun had just started to dip lower and the temperature was perfect, so I threw the top back on the Mustang, racked the seat back all the way and stretched out to enjoy the early evening’s warmth and the sheer glory of doing absolutely nothing except doze in the sunshine.  I’d been up since 2.30am, so I may have dropped off for a couple of minutes but the hour’s wait went very quickly so, before I knew it, I had snagged a plum seat at the bar with the perfect view of the kitchen.  

And yep – there Sheldon was – still smiling and being incredibly gracious in posing for photos and dealing with the many, many Top Chef groupies like me, who were there, all a-twitter and excited about meeting him!  I did have my picture taken with him, however, I am FAR to vain to post it as I look COMPLETELY ridiculous in it, as I am as red as a lobster because of the sun from the boat but with stupid panda eyes because of my sunglasses.  That plus crazy-assed hair and it is an atrociously unflattering sight!!  I did congratulate him on the show but I am embarrassed to admit I got a bit starstruck, so probably sounded a bit of a blithering idiot!!  (I have been starstruck once before by a Top Chef – that time, it was Hung, a previous season winner, in the backstage VIP area of the Bocuse D’Or competition held at the CIA in upstate New York every year.   Surrounded by the great culinary alums of the modern age (Thomas Keller, Daniel Boulud, Paul Liebrandt, Wolfgang Puck) and I get all flustered and tongue-tied meeting Hung!! )

The food itself was excellent - garlic noodles (in my excitement, i forgot noodles have wheat in them!), miso salmon and brussel sprouts (love me some Brussels!), followed by a trio of yummy ice-cream.   All in all, it was a great meal and - in a pleasant surprise - not horribly expensive!  All told, including a virgin cocktail, the total bill was less than $50!  

Da man himself.  Sheldon surveys his empire.

Fart capsules 

Yummy miso salmon

Well... they do say that trouble
comes in threes, right?

So, as I then started the hour and a half drive back from Lahaiana stuffed and happy, to my personal little library, I reflected on what had been a short but very sweet trip!!  Staying in the library was a lot of fun and certainly the bed was one of the most comfortable I’d ever slept in - mattress was just the right softness and firmness (steady), with fluffy pillows and a comforter that was like a hug from Mumsie.  I loved the smell, as you opened the door and walked in - the heat of the sun warming the oils that have infused the wood over the years - it was such a nostalgic, evocative smell and brought to mind thoughts of hours spent in libraries, bookstores, wonderful places of learning and knowledge.  And lots of lattes in Cosi and Barnes and Noble.  Made me want to rush home and hug my Encyclopedia Britannica's.  So the promise of the library itself certainly lived up to my expectations - the quirky decorations were an added bonus (I'm now wondering whether i should encrust a pair of my shoes in fake shark teeth?).

Personalized whale tail engraving?  Why, yes - thank you.

Now, the bathroom facilities - hmm....well...not so much.  I didn't post pictures of the shower/loo that was a separate little building right next to the kitchen but it was certainly...um... unique in its construction in 

terms of its proportions of glass to non-see through materials.  Now, I would say i'm fairly worldly and have traveled quite a lot, but this one was a new one for me to watch a rabbit hopping through the shower as I sat on the loo, looking out directly on one of the student interns making lunch in the kitchen.  Too much damned glass, you see.  

And the shower was built outside (hence the opportunity for bunny intrusion) - but had interesting lines of visibility still...um.. visible from the outdoor kitchen, the intern's little house and the main house, just a short distance away. The non-transparent part of the shower wall was about 4 inches wide, so made for an interesting bathing experience, trying to get clean while not provide a free floor show for all.  But, i guess it all added to the general weirdness and kookiness of it all (all very arty-farty, I suppose, to not be concerned with something as prosaic as personal privacy or public nudity), so I just went with the flow.  

And kept my shower very short.

And with that, my little escape to Maui drew to a close.  Returning the convertible Mustang to the rental place the next day, ready to catch my flight, nursing crazy sunburn, an emergent cold and a overloaded credit card, I felt happy.  Knackered, sniffy and broke, but happy to have spent just a few days in this beautiful place and already planning the next expedition......  

Supporting local art & traditions -
purchasing a whale tail carved from
koa, a native Hawaiian wood 

Whale Soup!!

No - I'm not referring to the latest fancy-pants restaurant I went to in Maui, but instead the local term for how chock-a-block the ocean gets with humpback whales this time of year!  I hadn't been planning on doing any whale-watching while I was here as I've done it several times before in various places (saw Right Whales in P-Town, humpbacks in Peninsula Valdes in Patagonia and eff-all in Iceland) but after having seen the crazy number of mother and baby whales out of the helicopter window the day before, I thought it was an experience I really shouldn't miss.

My boat.  Just me and 5 other peeps.

The other boat.  With LOTs of peeps.

So, after returning from my triumphant conquest of the dawn, braving the "This is what happens when an artist designs bathroom fittings" shower (more on that later) and dressing in long sleeves and a long dress to cover the THOUSANDS (ok, slight exaggeration) of mossie bites that I totally hadn't been expecting (see, I did end up getting eaten alive in the library after all - just at a slower pace!), it was time to head out to Lahaina for my raft trip with the Pacific Whale Foundation.
The drive to Lahaina took about an hour and a quarter and took me to the same part of the island that the helicopter had flown over the previous day.  Driving along the water's edge on the coastal road to Lahaina was lovely - again, with the top down on the Mustang, it was a glorious afternoon.

The town of Lahaina itself is very pretty - touristy with lots of shops selling Hawaiian souvenirs Made In China, but it had a pleasant, relaxed vibe to it.  I lucked out (again!) with finding parking, so managed to find a spot just behind where i was due to go and check in for my trip.  If you do ever go whale watching in Maui, then consider going with the Pacific Whale Foundation - they are a not-for-profit organization so all the proceeds from the tours etc goes straight back into conservation and research.  They also have the most knowledgable guides and set the standard for professionalism for other tour operators - here's their weblink:  http://www.pacificwhale.org

I seemed to be on a winning streak as I'd booked the tour on a whim the day before and had randomly chosen to take the "raft" trip rather than the regular boat.  The lady on the phone said it was a smaller boat so fewer people, which sounded good to me (35 people vs 200 on the boat) - when I actually turned up for the tour, though - there were only SIX of us!!  Our tour guide said it was very rare for it to be so empty and that six was actually the minimum number they would allow to actually run the trip, so it was absolutely perfect!  Having so few people meant a completely unimpeded access to move about the boat, from side to side as the whales popped up - different to other tours i've been on where you are constantly jostling for position to try and see (and are invariably on the wrong side of the boat when the whale finally does appear!).  I saw the hoards of folk getting on the other boat and was very very pleased with my decision!!

So, off we set and we'd be going for less than 3 minutes before we saw our first whale.  Right there, in front of us, blowhole a-tooting and tail flipping as he dove.  And then another - and another - and another!!  They were EVERYWHERE!!!

According to our guides, there had been a lot of activity in the morning - basically all the male whales are there trying to compete for the attention of the female whales (the few that are available and interested in breeding).  This meant lots of racing, butting of heads, and general malarky - most of which we, of course, can't see from the surface.  But it was incredible to see these big gangs of 6 or 7 humpback whales, all trying to out-do each other and - while I didnt see a whale in full breach (when they leap out of the water), I did see more than i'd seen on previous whale watching trips, so it was certainly well worth it.

We also saw plenty of baby whales (though when they are born, they are already 15ft long, so they're not exactly tiny!) and their mothers, and as an added bonus, just as we were heading back into shore after the 2 hrs, we also saw a school of 50-60 spinner dolphins!!!  AMAZING!!  Leaping and playing, right in front of the boat - i managed to get a couple of good shots, but unfortunately missed the one where a dolphin did an incredible pirouette right in front of us.  Absolutely brilliant.

Also, another fantastic moment was listening to the sound of this single male whale singing.  Apparently, all the males sing exactly the same song and that they sing different songs at different times of year and there are geographical variations too.  Fascinating stuff.  Our guide said it was unusual for us to be able to isolate the song of a single whale and to hear the changes in song and sound but, because this one male whale was apart enough from the rest of the whales, that's what we were able to do.  I took a couple of videos so you can hear them - its the same whale making radically different noises - just brilliant. (sorry the videos are sideways!!)

Ever wondered what seven whales racing looks like?
 You're welcome....

Adorably cute spinner dolphins

In full mid-leap...

 After that, we then headed back into shore and I disembarked and then really discovered just how sunburnt i'd gotten (I'd forgotten to bring sunscreen), but it was absolutely worth it and a great way to spend an afternoon.  And so, for my final Maui act, there was nothing left to do than to go and visit a Top Chef for a Top Dinner....

Heavenly Haleakala!

Above the clouds and up with the birds for the world’s best sunrise

First of all, OW!   Waking up this morning (survived through another night of potential Zombie Eyeball attack in the library), and the first thing I became aware of, as I stumbled to the outdoor kitchen to make a cup of tea, was that my legs hurt!  And when I say legs, I mean the wibbly-wobbly inside thigh region.  Holy cow.  I only went riding for a couple of hours yesterday and today I’m walking like a crab with arthritis (bad, bad, bad – lots of knees, you see).  How on earth did I manage to do a whole week’s riding in the Grand Tetons a couple years ago?

Mucho humbling.

Anyway, maybe it was also my body protesting at having to get up at an unearthly hour – yep, I’m on vacation and here’s my alarm clock going off at 2.30am!  However, before you think I’m completely bonkers (or completely type A, as per my host’s snap judgment – grrr), today was going to be one of the highlights of my completely not-at-all Type A-duration trip – watching the sunrise from the top of the Haleakala crater.   If you read any guide book on Hawai’i or Maui, the absolute, guaranteed MUST-SEE number 1 activity it will tell you to do is this one – yes, set your alarm at an ungodly hour, drive up the steepest, windiest roads in the pitch black and brave the freezing temperatures at the top for what will be an experience of a lifetime.

If you don’t believe me, here’s what my trusty Lonely Planet says about it:

“Often referred to as the world’s largest dormant volcano, the floor of Haleakala measures a colossal 7.5 miles wide, 2.5 miles long and 3,000 ft deep – large enough to swallow the island of Manhattan.  In its prime, Haleakala reached a height of 12,000ft before water erosion carve out two large river valleys that eventually eroded into each other to form Haleakala crater.  Haleakala’s astonishing volcanic landscape so resembles a lunar surface that astronauts practiced mock lunar walks here before landing on the moon.  The 37-mile drive from sea to the 10,023 ft summit is the highest elevation gain in the shortest distance anywhere in the world.  You’ve passed through as many ecological zones as you would have on a driver from central Mexico to Alaska.

Almost showtime...

Haleakala means “House of the Sun” and, since the time of the first Hawaiians, people have been making pilgrimages up to the summit to watch the sun rise.  Its an experience that borders on the mystical.   Mark Twain called it the “sublimest spectacle” he’d ever seen.”

As instructed by the “How to Get the Best Out of Your Sunrise Trip to Haleakala” website I’d found the previous evening, I planned to arrive by 5am, to give me enough time to really take it all in and enjoy the stars as well as the sunrise.
Leaving the Library at 3am (no way I could avoid the shadows in the middle of the night but, fortunately, I guess the Vashta Nerada weren’t hungry), it took me just shy of two hours to reach the top of the summit.  I’d been a little nervous about the drive itself, but it was completely fine.  Though there were no street lights (obviously) as soon as you entered the park and started the ascent proper, the road itself was paved and well-maintained and not too narrow.  But, ay carumba, it was certainly twisty!!  Most of the way, there was a 25mph speed limit which dropped down to 15 mph on the more heroic turns.  Apparently, in places,  the road climbs so high in such a short distance, that you can see 4 or 5 switchbacks in the road from a single spot.  Not that I was looking at anything other than the little patch of tarmac in front of my trusty Mustang’s muzzle.  But I would say it wasn’t as scary as some parts of Highway 1, so it was fine.  It was also cool to see the elevation markers by the side of the road – starting at 3,000ft and counting off each additional 1,000 ft until you hit the magic 10,000 mark.  As I drove past, I had to fight a Pavlovian response to turn on my approved electronic devices and log on to Boingo’s in-flight wireless, but somehow managed to keep it together.

Pulling into the parking lot, I was thankful I’d set off so early as there were only about 5 or 6 other cars there already, so I found a space without any problem and started to get ready to head up the short walk & steps to the viewing area. 

As I’d known before leaving SF that this was one of the activities I was absolutely going to do, I had come prepared.  Even though I’m only here for 3 days, I’d brought a large suitcase with me (there goes another $20 for checked baggage – ker-ching!) that was more than half full with the following Summit-Ready items – no freezing temperatures were gonna rain on this girl’s parade!  Here’s your to-go list for Sunrise Success:

• ·      Not just one, but two sleeping bags
• ·      A circular padded seat cushion
• ·      A headlamp
• ·      A regular torch
• ·      Rainproof & windproof pants (trousers, not knickers!)
• ·      Thermal pants (ditto)
• ·      A thermal neck jacket (poncy name but jolly useful)
• ·      Rainproof and windproof shell jacket
• ·      Extra waterproof outdoor jacket
• ·      Thermal top
• ·      3 layers of long-sleeved clothing
• ·      Thermal gloves
• ·      Camera kit including tripod and remote control switch
• ·      Bananas

Rare moment sans sleeping bag

Oh yes.  I was ready. 

At the top of the summit, there’s a small building which serves as a viewing area and then that’s pretty much it.  I found a spot just on the other side of the wall that surrounded the viewing center, and settled in for the hour and a half wait until sunrise.

Oh, how glad I was for all the stuff I’d brought.  And I quietly congratulated myself for my utter genius in bringing 2 sleeping bags with me.  I’d found a perfect spot where I could wedge myself against the wall and rest my legs up on a little smooth boulder (an impressive find for a volcanic park) and so, with my bum comfortably padded and insulated with the cushion, my body wrapped up in one sleeping bag and my head and shoulders wrapped in the other, I settled in to gaze upon the stars and wait for sunrise.

Wow. I can’t remember the last time I’d been somewhere so quiet and so pristine, in terms of the clearness of the night sky and the profoundness of the dark.  The stars just blazed overhead and I was sitting directly under the Big Dipper (I think) – it was truly breathtaking.  Unfortunately, stars and night sky are not really conducive to good photography, so no pics I’m afraid, but it was so peaceful and meditative, sitting there with my thoughts, wrapped up in my cozy, warm cocoon, that I think I might have actually dropped off for a few minutes.  Or succumbed to a lack of oxygen and passed out momentarily (not due to the altitude, but rather *ahem* due to a rather heroic amount of biogas my guts seemed to be happily producing).  Which then led to an interesting sequence of thoughts upon waking up and remembering where you are, but what a fab experience.  Wrapped in a sleeping bag, on a freezing cold volcanic mountain, gently farting myself to sleep while gazing up at the stars.  Check that one off the bucket list.   Totes.

Anyway, as it got closer to the scheduled time for sunrise of around 6.40am, it started to get busier and busier, as more and more people turned up and the quiet solitude was broken by the crunching of feet on gravel, kids crying and people exclaiming in a surprised tone “Gosh, its so cold up here”.    Really?  No sh*t, Sherlock!   You’re at 10,000ft, at night, at the summit of a volcanic crater – of COURSE its going to be cold!!!

Observatory observing

I’d picked out a great little spot from which to take pictures and had set my camera up on a tripod, with the remote controlled switch, which allowed me to take pics without pressing the button directly.  I’d set up this way both to get better pictures (less camera shake) but also that I could remain in my cosy cocoon, and control my camera without even having to remove my hands from the warmth of my sleeping bag.

And then the show began.  As sunrise approached, the night sky began to lighten and turn purple-blue and the stars faded away.  As the Lonely Planet describes “Ethereal silhouettes of the mountain ridges appear.  The gentlest colors show up in the fragile moments just before dawn.  The underside of the clouds lighten first, accenting the night sky with pale silvery slivers and streaks of pink.  About 20 minutes before sunrise, the light intensifies on the horizon in bright oranges and reds.  For the grand finale, the moment when the disk of the sun finally appears, all of Haleakala takes on a fiery glow.  It feels like you are watching the earth awaken.”

Oh my.  They weren’t kidding.  I think it has to be one of the most beautiful sunrises I’ve ever experienced.  I got some great pictures but I still don’t think they do it true justice – it was incredible.  As you would expect, I took quite a few - but here are a selection of my favorites for you.... 

Its scarier driving after sunrise!!

One of life's great experiences - check!

After the sun had fully risen and morning had well and truly broken, it was time to say goodbye and start the twisty, turning drive back down the mountain – this time, with FULL view of all those crazy bends and sharp drop-offs!  I think I preferred driving it in the dark!   But, it didn’t take long before I was back down and I stopped at a great little place called Kula Sandalwoods for a well-earned breakfast of eggs and coffee.   Lots of coffee.  Then, another 45 min drive and I was back home at the Library, to shower, change and have a quick rest before it was time head back on the road for the afternoon’s adventures…..