It's ON!  
Its a Paula Deen vs Tosca Reno Culinary Smackdown!!

Oh, what a difference a (few) day(s) make.  A week is not just a long time in politics, it also turns out to be an interestingly long time in the culinary world too.  Or at least the 10' x 8' part of it that ostensibly belongs to me.

Just over a week ago, I had the pleasure of hosting Chutney Alison, her awesome cousin Anne, bad-ass birders Bob and Bryan and the lovely Ms. Little for dinner.  Pictures and the full menu will follow in a separate blog (a Festive digestive Digest, as it were) and a great time was had by all.  

Ah, fond memories.  So, as I sit here, looking at a half chewed stick of celery that's simply too dull to eat any more of, I'm reminded of the fact that this month really does seem to represent the nadir of the culinary calendar for the year.   January rolls around and everyone is broke, fat, on the wagon and thoroughly miserable about the end of the holidays and about having to go back to work.  Plus, for Mumsie, she is additionally depressed that the constant torrent of holiday movies on Fa-La-La-La-Lifetime thats been eschewing forth since Thanksgiving has finally peaked, purged and exhausted itself.

And so, in an attempt to revoke our membership of the Christmas Chub Club, Mumsie and I have made the Conscious Lifestyle Choice to Eat Clean for the foreseeable future, following Tosca Reno's well-known tome for good health and getting lean and fit.  Her main thesis is no packaged or processed food, limited dairy, lots of fruits, veggies, lean protein and whole grains.  No cheese, chocolate or champagne (meanie).  No rainbows, unicorns, sunshine or small kittens.  And combine clean eating with lifting weights, a sprinkling of good genetics and *pow* bikini body championships can be yours for the taking.

Me, I'd just settle for being able to do the top button on my skirt up again.

So, here it is.  A visual illustration, if any were needed, as to why cooking in December ROCKS and cooking in January SUCKS!  If someone invites you to dinner in January, think very very carefully before accepting....

Cooking in December -
Paula Deen's Oooey Gooey Butter Layer cake

Cooking in January -
Tosca Reno's Eat Clean Sprouted Barley and Kale Soup

Scores on the culinary doors:
Paula Deen:  Contains so much butter, cream cheese and sour cream, it nearly qualifies as a meat dish, consisting, as it does, almost entirely of solid cow products.  Rumored to be single-handedly responsible for Ms. Deen's Type 2 diabetes, there are a staggering total of SIX cups of sugar in this bad boy sentinel of sweetness.  Truly a fiendishly festive folly of fat.  Delish and oh so naughty.

Tosca Reno:  Incredibly clean, healthy, packed full of life-enhancing vitamins and minerals and more kale than is probably legal in the state of California.  Tastes like it looked.  Bad.  Not even the addition of Philly cream cheese, peas and some kick-ass jalapeno chutney could save this sucker.  I guess I'm just grateful i'm no longer doing KSCC, otherwise I'd have no choice but to eat this for days on end.

Sorry, Tosca.  I'm afraid you lost this round.