Hey! Take a Walk on the Wild Side!

So.....for the arachnophobes out there (and that includes me, so i'm actually typing this blog post with my eyes closed) - its time to LOOK AWAY NOW!!!

I did warn you....but you had to look anyway....

**<!!!SHRIEK!!!>***

***.....faint......thud....*****

Wait!!  WHAT THE WHA??   That's a guy with a great big fat spider on his hand!!!   And - what's more, that looks suspiciously like a tarantula to me!!  Sarah - you didn't get a Groupon for a Spider Construction Workshop, did you?  Did you learn how to make a spider?  Did you??

Fear not, fearless blogwatchers!  I had the great pleasure, this Sunday just gone, of joining about 30 other intrepid explorers for a guided tarantula hike in Mount Diablo state park.  Yep.  That's right.  Hiking.  With the sole intention of finding spiders.  I actually tried to do this hike last year but it was fully booked up weeks in advance (see? - i'm not the only crazy one around here!) as its a very well-known Thing To Do With The Kids and Relatives With Dicky Hearts at this time of year.  

Here's the link to the state park and a few more details about the hike:

http://www.mdia.org/site/tarantulas-insects/nature-tarantulas-in-mount-diablo-state-park

The hike itself is led by a number of decent docents, volunteers who work for the state park and who are absolute fountains (and we're talking big splashy multi-jet Vegas ones here) of knowledge about the park, the flora and fauna within it and Everything You Could Ever Wish to Know about tarantulas.  Before we set off, the main guide (whose name I forgot, so we'll just have to content ourselves with calling him Spider Man - heh heh) spent a good 15 minutes showing us his pet female tarantula (called something mundane like Lesley) and introducing us to these fabulous creatures.

Yes.  I did just call tarantulas fabulous creatures.

Fall is well and truly springing
in Mount Diablo....

Now, just to scene set here - I HATE spiders.  Bloody loath the multi-legged buggers.  I will scream like the girl I am when one appears out of nowhere and will not pause even for a second to reach for the nearest heavy-soled shoe or hungry-looking cat to sort it out.  I hate the way they look at you.  I hate how fast they move - usually RIGHT TOWARDS YOU.  I hate their spindly legs.  Oh so many legs.  And how they hang on with said leg-fest, sagging through the plug hole in the bathtub, when you are trying to rinse them away quickly and pretend you never saw them.  And how then you are never quite sure if you actually did manage to flush them away completely or if they are faking it, and will crawl back up through the plug hole, bent on spidery revenge.

This one evoked none of those emotions.  Instead - much to my surprise - I found myself admiring its grace, its stateliness and overall fluffy looking stroke-ability.  I think this part of the hike was to assuage everyone's spider-spotting needs, such that - if we saw bugger all on the hike - we could say "ah well, at least we got to see Spider Man's pet spider Lesley".   I learnt some interesting stuff, most of which I've already forgotten - except the key info that they really, really, really would rather NOT bite you and will only do so as a very last resort.  And - if they do bite you - its less painful than a bee sting and it doesn't last very long, but wears off after a few minutes.   The other cool thing they can do when under attack by coyotes or anything else that wants to eat them is to "flick" the hairs from its back legs which is an irritant, like itching powder, and makes the attacking animal sneeze and back off.   Fascinating stuff.

In case the static picture alone wasn't doing it for you, here's a quick video of our favorite arachnid so you can fully share the experience...

Anyway, after Spider Show and Tell was over, it was time to start the hike proper.  More scary than the prospect of thousands of wild tarantulas was the prospect of spending the next couple of hours in the company of some deeply irritating kids.  I am fully aware I'm about to sound like a grumpy old fart now, but what is it with kids who have no respect for the rules and for obeying the polite requests of the docents to stay behind them and to not stray off into the bushes?   Come on!!  Not only are there a gazillion tarantulas around, but its also prime rattlesnake country as well as poison oak everywhere.  It doesn't take much to get bitten or stung, so its not like you can just run around like its a playground and not give a shit.  Where the eff were the parents in controlling the kids?  Nowhere in sight.  Either totally oblivious or charmed by how delightfully adventurous dearest Morgan and Cameron are.  Aren't they adorable?  Actually, no.  They are complete brats.  And you can bet the parents would be the first to sue the ass off the state if their precious darlings came to a sticky end.  Deeply annoying.

Lady spider burrow

So, with my best Victor Melgrew face on, we set off.   I have to say that I was expecting an Indiana Jones-style adventure, with the dirt path literally festooned with spiders and having to step carefully over and around the multi-legged beasties.  Its mating season, so the spiders we'd be seeing were the black males - slightly smaller and spindlier than the females, who remain in their burrows for mating.  We saw plenty of the burrows - tiny things, the circular opening diameter no larger than your little fingernail - with the silk threads across the opening marking that the lady spider was In and Open for Business.  But actually real live spiders wandering freely across the path?  Not so much.

In fact, the only thing that we saw for an hour and a half was a baby rattlesnake.  Discovered - of course - by the annoying kids who run ahead of everyone else, proceeded to find the snake in the middle of the path and then follow it into the bushes!!  All I can say to that is rock on, Darwin.   You got it spot on.

Rattlesnake.  Nature's way of culling out disobedient kids.

So, after seeing precisely bugger all, Lori and I decided to call it a day and head back.  Thanking our docent, we left the group and headed back the way we came, still keeping our eyes peeling for our first spider sighting.

Nothing.

And then - just as we were coming out of the main spider zone, we passed a couple of folk who asked us if we'd seen anything.  We replied glumly "no" to which they replied "well, look over here then..." - and thats when we saw our first (and only) genuine pukka wild tarantula!!  It was a spindly little thing who definitely looked in need of a good square meal but it was fantastic!  It blended in so fantastically well, I'm not sure if I would have spotted it without some help!  So, here it is..... see if you can spot it in the pictures below!!

Take a close look......

There he is!!

Staring down the fanged beast.....

So, all in all, it was a success.  We came, we saw, we spidered.  And - for next year, we know where to come so that we can do the hike on our own, without the madding crowds.  Another one checked off the bucket list!!