Panning for gold, glory and an early retirement!

So, after the excitement of being held up at gunpoint by our Chap with Chaps had passed,  it was time for the final fun of the day - panning for gold!!  I'd decided to go for the Ruby Plus package which entitled me to "enriched" sands PLUS a personal tutor to teach me the basics.  Untold wealth was just a short pan-ride away!

The set-up was pretty straightforward - there were a series of interconnected troughs, full of yellowish brown dirty water where everyone was gathered, and where I found my teacher (the lady in the shop described him as the "dude with the shiny head" - who was helpfully wearing a hat).  There were a few more folk here (obviously the lure of gold is stronger than the fear of fire), so it was a bit busier but again, I didn't have to wait for my teacher, so I introduced myself and we got stuck in.

Essentially gold panning is dead easy to do - the main elements involved are shaking, rinsing, a ridged pan and a ton of patience.  And a steady supply of ibuprofen for when your back starts aching after about 5 minutes.  Here's a brilliant description of the technique (much better at my paltry attempts at explaining) - and you, of course, will now understand what the title of this website means when you click into it!  http://www.goldgold.com/gold-prospectinggold-panning-instructions.html

So, how did I do?  

Can I retire early and open that Siamese cattery I've always dreamed of?

Here we go.....

Turning cash into GOLD!
(and....umm....less cash)

A gentleman's handshake to agree the mining rights of this claim

Not altogether convinced I didn't get
 sold a bag of dirt

Look, ma!!  I'm panning for gold!!!

Although its bloody hard work and
makes your back ache

Getting intense as I'm getting closer to paydirt
 (hmm...i wonder if this is where that expression comes from?)

The treasures starting to be revealed.....

WHOOO-HOOOO!!!  GOLD!!!!  

Little garnets shimmering in the sunshine and if you look very
 very carefully, you can see three flakes of  gold on the right
hand side, on the bottom of the pan, just under where the ridge starts

I'm not sure you are supposed to be able to fit your entire
pension plan on the tip of your finger

There it is .... don't sneeze

Safely transferred to the tube of water for storage

Was that IT???  Realization dawning that early retirement
was, alas, not an option....

"Rivers" of gold

So there you have it.  Alas, come Tuesday, I will still be working for The Man, as the three flecks of gold I collected will not really cover my monthly mortgage payments for the next 20 years.  I guess I learnt that probably the only way I could make money out of gold prospecting these days is to set up a couple of water troughs in my back yard and sell bags of dirt to tourists

But wait!  The fun of the day wasn't over yet!!  Oh no.... there was still more to come.  

As we drove home from Columbia, back towards our campsite (passing through the delightful little town of Sutter Creek along the way), we suddenly noticed police lights behind us.  Wondering where the accident was  up in-front of us that the cruiser was obviously on its way to, we then made the interesting observation that he didn't seem in a hurry to get past us.  We then made the even more interesting observation that he was actually pulling US over!!  WTF??

Completely baffled as to what I'd done wrong, I dutifully pulled over, heart pounding.  I knew the score.   I'd seen it enough times in movies.  I'd roll my window down then get arrested for resisting an officer by not having wound my window down fast enough then I'd get taken to the station where I'd get thrown in jail on jumped-up charges then I'd disappear into the system and never be seen again.

Or not.  

I had, I learnt, "failed to maintain my lane" - ie when turning at an intersection, i had taken up BOTH lanes on my side of the road by failing to stay in one or the other (shock horror) and then had crossed a solid line when I'd had to overtake someone who'd braked ahead of me without a lot of warning.   Really?  That was worth pulling me over for? 

As it turns out, the cop was very nice as he could have given me a very hard time for a couple (well, four, to be precise) reasons.  On asking me for my drivers license and insurance, I found my license and handed it to him - wincing to myself as its still my NY State license, not the Californian one ("is this car a rental, ma'am?"  "umm..no").  Strike one.  Strike two was pulling out my AllState insurance card from my wallet - then then discover that instead of it being the insurance card with my details on, I had inadvertently got TWO of the little cards that tell you about their breakdown recovery service.  Fine for flats and running out of gas, not so great for proving you have auto insurance to the rozzers.  And strike THREE was that my little tax sticker on the rear number plate was out of date - whereby I sheepishly pulled out the 2013 tax sticker from my glovebox that I just hadn't quite got round to fixing onto the licence plate yet. That was fine - until he noticed that was out of date too!!! WTF??  Now that wasn't my fault - i get sent these by the DMV, so he told me that I should give them a call and follow up to find out where it was.  

So, yes, he could have given me a much harder time than he did, but he just advised me to be more careful and watch my lanes in future.   I promised him I absolutely would watch those buggers like a hawk from now on.  He then said that he just needed to run my license to check I wasn't a serial killer.   Well, I thought to myself, I know I don't have make-up on but that's a little harsh.     

With that formality complete, he handed me back my license and I was on my way.

So, Mum, before you give me a hard time, I will be doing the following, pronto:

Get my California State driving license, stat

Phone the DMV for my new tax info

Find my insurance documents and put them in the car

And watch my lanes!!