Bagpooped....
So i should probably start by translating the title for my US readers.  Don't worry - there is no cause for colonic concern or ileial alarm.  "Pooped" in Brit speak is simply a euphemism for "a little tired" which is, in turn, a British euphemism for "a little hungover" which is, in turn, an inevitable consequence of hanging out with a bunch of bagpipe players the night before.  It could also have been my crazy-assed travel schedule catching up with me, but I know I wouldn't be fooling any of you here.   Ah well, live and (eventually, someday, maybe) learn.

Fortunately, by design, the most arduous thing I had to accomplish today was to meet one of my good mates and die-hard blog fans, Jessica, for lunch and an old-fashioned chin-wag.  (sorry, chaps, for some reason, i'm feeling compelled to write this blog in Brit-speak - I  blame my surroundings...huzzah!).  We were meeting around 11.30am, so I had the luxury of sleeping in and spending a lazy morning enjoying the luxury of my walnut-paneled cabin, playing with the shower fixtures and trying to decide which of the many tours on offer on the QM to go on.  I finally decided on the Twilight Mystery tour in the evening, then the Glory Days tour the next day, before heading to the airport for my evening flight home.

More tea, vicar?

At 11.30am, Jessica texted me to say she'd arrived, so me and my still somewhat sore-headed head headed down to the entry gate to go meet her (they wouldn't let her up on her own without a guest to accompany her - guess that's to stop folk wandering in for a free tour).   Jessica had also had a euphemistically fun evening too, so there was nothing else left for 2 slightly hungover Brit girls to do than to go for lashings of tea and finger sandwiches and cake!  (no - not sandwiches made out of fingers, you crazy people).

So, off to the very helpfully-named "The Tea Room" we went, where we spent a very pleasant couple of hours catching up, with Jessica telling me the latest and greatest with what she's up to in showbiz.  (you can follow her here on Twitter: https://twitter.com/jessicaclark - any True Blood fans will definitely recognize her...).   We had a vicarage-sized amount of tea, ably assisted by hair of the dog, as well as some kick-ass scones, jam and clotted cream.  By the time the cakes arrived, we were both too stuffed and so took them "to go" (not sure you'd be allowed to do that at the Ritz, btw) for a little light afternoon sugar-fest later on.  After a couple hours, Jessica had to scoot, so I retired to my room to catch-up on my blog (I'd been thoroughly chastised by Jessica for having let it lapse so terribly over the last 6 weeks, so it was time for immediate reparation!), have a quick snooze before then joining my Twilight Mysteries tour at 6pm.

As with the USS Hornet, the Queen Mary has a number of ghost stories and spooky happenings associated with it (although not quite with the same intensity as the Hornet - that is supposed to be one of the most haunted ships there is), so I figured why not?  It was a good way to get my bearings, see some areas of the ship that were otherwise off-limits and, who knows, I might just meet Casper.

Alas, Casper didn't show, but I did get to see a lot of cool stuff.  The haunting stories themselves weren't quite as exciting as the Hornet - lots of sightings of ladies in fine dresses sitting having drinks one minute, gone the next; sounds of children laughing behind locked doors of rooms that had long lain empty and the tale of one poor seaman (steady) who had played a game of chicken with a heavy steel-door that was being automatically racheted closed in response to some heavy seas - and lost.  #splat #wontdothatagain.

Door + cocky seaman + bravado + automatic closing
mechanism =  big squishy mess for someone to clean up

Fake original mother-of-pearl ceiling

The swimming pool for the 1st class passengers was very cool - absolutely beautiful Art Deco design and the ceiling, now in iridescent tiling, was originally decked out in mother-of-pearl which had shimmered and gleamed and twinkled like stars in the night sky.  Alas, when the QM was converted into The Grey Ghost to support the war effort, the 500 soldiers or so who then slept in 5 person-high bunks in the drained (obviously) swimming pool picked chunks out of the ceiling with their bayonets as souvenirs or to use as gaming chips.

According to our relatively unenthusiastic guide, the Bunk of Choice was the top bunk during these tough war years - but not, perhaps for the reasons you'd expect (i.e. its just..um...more fun on top.. and you don't crack your head on the bunk above you if you wake up late at night in a Patagonian youth hostel and need the loo and forget temporarily where you are and that you're in a bunk bed in a room with 10 other complete strangers).  No - nothing quite that obvious.

Spooky - and very impressive swimming pool

Apparently the reason why that Top Bunk choice (hmm..I think i've just come up with a new Bravo reality show concept...) was the coveted spot was that that was the ONLY place on the ship you could be certain you would not get covered in vomit - either from your bunkmates above or the copious quantities that would collect and sloosh about the bottom of the pool.  True.  The Queen Mary was infamous for "rolling" - at first, before stabilizers were retro-fitted which helped a bit, she could list up to 44 degrees from the vertical in heavy seas.  Yeah, right, you say - that doesn't sound much - until you then learn that it only takes a tilt of TWO degrees from vertical to induce seasickness!!  Even with the stabilizers, she still could roll up to 12 degrees - which was why, when it was an ocean-going liner, you didn't see much carpet at all, but instead all tiles and linoleum - much easier to clean the vomit up from.

Grumpy lady with scrubbing brush not included

The other interesting tidbit about the swimming pool was that - though it was for 1st class passengers - the ship did, in fact, allow the 3rd class passengers to use it too (the 2nd class folk had their own pool) between the hours of 3pm - 5pm each day.  This is when all civilized folk would be taking afternoon tea (some things never change!).  Before you get too excited about how "progressive" the QM was, before opening it back up to the 1st class folk, the entire pool would be drained, cleaned and then re-filled with fresh heated seawater, so that the delicate sensibilities of the elite glitterati would not be challenged by having to swim in the same water as the stinky proletariat.  You could also get a variety of spa treatments at the pool too - including X-rays, back in the time when it was thought that a good blast of electromagnetic radiation was actually good for you.  Here are some of the other highlights of the tour:

Groovy art-deco columns in the Mauritania room

One of the original art-deco elevators in the 1st class section

Interesting idea, but not to be recommended.
Traffic would be a nightmare.

Mumsie - this one is for you - thought about pinching
 one of those chests but it wouldn't fit in my hand luggage...

Handy for wrapping those oddly-shaped
industrial gifts, I suppose

One of the original propellers, still attached.  

My own private deck.

View from the dock - what a beauty!

Hanging out with the rellys - gawd bless ya, ma'am

The first ever travel agency aboard a ship

So, with that, it was time to grab some dinner (a considerably quieter affair than the previous evening, thank goodness) and retire to my quarters to check the day's stash of photographs and to get cracking writing.  Tomorrow, it was time to head back to SF and back home...