Oh Krap-ow! Keeping Calm and Carrying On in Poland.

Well, I certainly didn't expect to find myself in a lingerie store miming the act of picking a wedgie out of my ass on my first full morning in Krakow, but here we are.  

OK - maybe I should back up a bit.  So I'm here in Poland for the next week on a culinary, culture and outdoorsy trip with an independent travel group called Adventure Women.  As the name suggests, its geared towards folk like me who like to travel, have adventures and get off the beaten track a bit.  Hanging out with a big bunch of ladies is not usually my thing - but I'd had a surprisingly good time at a ladies boot camp in Mexico I'd been to last year, plus the itinerary looked really interesting, so I decided to be open-minded and give it a go.  As you probably know, I had a less than 24hr turn around time from my last trip, landing in Chicago from Paris at 12pm, and leaving Chicago for Krakow at 11.30am the next day.  No worries, though - more than enough time to do my laundry and repack for this next shebang.  I left the stupidly heavy and awkward Patagonia duffle bag at home and instead went back to the tried and tested Samsonite wheeled suitcase.  I also decided to take a small cabin bag (mainly to pack my shoes - particularly my hiking boots) out of an abundance of caution should anything happen to my luggage.  You can fairly easily replace clothing in a pinch - but shoes?  Not so easy.

Lovely little touch at dinner from Turkish Airlines. 
And yes.  I did steal it.

Oh, how I wish I had developed that line of thinking just a teeny tiny bit more.

I was scheduled to fly to Krakow via Istanbul on Turkish Airlines.  I haven't flown Turkish in quite a while but as its part of the Star Alliance network and had pretty decent prices & connections on biz class to Krakow, it seemed like a good choice.  I also know from talking with my folks that Turkish Airlines moved to a brand new airport in Istanbul a couple of years ago - its apparently very nice but is massive!  As any of you who travel with me know - I do NOT like to cut things fine when it comes to travel - whether its getting to the airport well ahead of time or allowing sufficient transit time between flights or whatever.  Things don't always go to plan when you travel, so at least building in a bit of buffer time allows you the chance to figure it out (point in case - our trouble with finding the car rental return place in London last week).  When I used to travel all the time for work, I used to reject the suggested flights the travel desk used to give me through Frankfurt if they had a connection time less than 2hrs.  Throw in the need to clear passport control into a transfer, and you are just asking for trouble if you have any less time than that! 

Poor poor unsuspecting me.
Before.

I was not overly concerned, however, as my flight from Chicago was due to land into Istanbul at 5.50am and my flight to Krakow was scheduled at 7.30am.  My luggage was checked all the way through, so I didn't have to worry about that.  When I got my boarding pass for the Krakow leg in Chicago, it showed a boarding time of 6.30am, so it was a little tighter than I would have liked, but still gave me a solid 40mins from when we were scheduled to land.  I also figured that was probably more of a placeholder boarding time as 1hr before departure was a bit early - so I reckoned boarding would probably start closer to 7am.  So I was a little antsy but still was not too concerned.  I tried to channel ManpanionTM's chill when it comes to boarding (he occasionally remarks "you know you don't have to be the very first person to get on the plane, right?  they have a reserved seat waiting for you") and relax and not worry about it.

Baby chef!

The bread had a little jacket pouch to keep 
it warm!  I missed a trick not pinching those
salt & pepper shakers though!!

Tasty enough but the beef was as tough
as a boot.

The onboard service was good - I was faintly amused by the greeting over the cabin PA ("welcome ladies, gentlemen and dear children") and had forgotten that Turkish has an on-board chef, dressed in his kitchen whites, who comes and takes your order.  It did feel a bit like I was cheating on United (ooo - new amenities kit!) but I'm still racking up those PQPs on the never-ending chase to renewing my Premier 1K status for this year, so its all good. 

Or at least it was until I logged into the "About Your Flight" bit to see if the gate number for my Krakow connection was listed.  The gate wasn't listed, but it was then that I noticed that our scheduled arrival time into Istanbul wasn't 5.50am (like it had been on my ticket) but was instead 6.35am!  Um.... what the wha???  We'd been a few minutes delayed taking off, but nothing too crazy, so what the actual fuck?  How come my landing time into Istanbul had now become the same as my boarding time to my Krakow flight???  And where exactly was my flight going to be leaving from?  How far from my arrival gate was my new departure gate?  As the screen was still not showing the gate information, I called a flight attendant to ask her.  I explained it now seemed as if I had a tight connection and did she know which gate the Krakow flight was leaving from?  She said she'd go and find out - a couple minutes later she returned and said she didn't know but a member of the ground crew would be available once I got off the plane and could tell me, but not to worry and that "it would be fine - you have plenty of time" for me to make my connection.

BULLSHIT!!!!!  It was not fine.  And I did not, in fact, have plenty of time.  I had sweet FA.  

We landed at 6.34am and got to the gate after 10mins of taxing.  I was fortunate that I was near the exit so was able to get off the plane quickly - I immediately saw the ground crew, who asked me where I was going - I showed him my boarding pass and asked him what the gate was for Krakow.  He - of course - had no idea but made the incredibly helpful suggestion to check the screens inside the terminal building.  Thanks, Sherlock - I could probably have figured that out myself.  After a disorienting moment entering into the terminal and realizing we had landed in Terminal F, I found the screen and quickly scanned it for Krakow.  Maybe it would all be OK and my connect would be here in the F terminal - which was bustling with international connecting flights.  There it was - Turkish Airlines TK186.  It was my flight - with the comment "Go to Gate".... and the gate was listed as A1A.

And yes - you guessed it.  The terminals in Istanbul are listed by alphabetical order according to where they sit in the airport complex.  Terminals A through F.   With dawning horror, I realized that my fucking transfer gate was THE OTHER SIDE OF THE AIRPORT - literally as far away as you can get.  Terminal A.  Gate A1.  A.  And it was now 6.47am.  

I started to run.  Hard.  I full on sprinted through F terminal as fast as I could, having to zig zag around people and at the same time navigate my way through a terminal that was completely unfamiliar to me.  And as I ran, I glanced at the departure boards and was horrified to see that my flight was "now boarding" - I wasn't yet out of Terminal F!  I had to keep going as hard as I could, despite my lungs burning as I did not want to miss that flight and - if I did miss it - at least I would know I couldn't have pushed any harder to make it.  My one thought as I legged it was "well, I'm sure my bag will get to the flight before me - this airport has to have one of those fancy, high speed luggage transfer systems, right?".  Right.

WTF just happened?!  
D..Y..I..N..G

After a solid 20 minutes of running (no exaggeration), stopping to gasp for air, then running again - terminal A FINALLY came into view.  There was an escalator heading downwards to the boarding area so I had to stop for a moment, breathing HARD, red faced and sweating profusely.  I must have looked on the verge of a heart attack as a woman the other side going up, shouted over to me "Are you OK?".   I feebly waved my hand yes - but I'm sure you can imagine just how total shit I looked like in that moment to cause enough alarm in a total stranger to enquire about my well-being.  I got to the bottom of the stairs and took off again at speed, finally making it to the gate as it was blinking "LAST CALL".  I think I was the second to last person through the gate.  There was a shuttle bus to the plane so I staggered on, still gulping down air, and again looked sufficiently like I was about to pass out that a guy stood up and offered me his seat.  I gratefully accepted and wondered how long it would be before my chest stopped hurting.  There's got to be easier ways to earn those Fitbit Active Zone Minutes.

Well, that was close, but I made it - no thanks to you, Turkish Airlines and your misleading connection times!  At this point I figured it was probably 50:50 that my bag made it on board - but if not, I'm sure there is another flight tomorrow, so I can live without my luggage for a day - no biggie.  It's happened before several times and its simply given me the perfect excuse to go shopping for a new outfit or two.  There's no problem that can't be solved with a working credit card.

After breakfast (again) on the flight, we landed in Krakow just after 8.30am.  It was nice and easy to get through passport control so soon I was standing next to the baggage claim, waiting for my bag to turn up.  And waiting.  And waiting.   And.... nope.   Clearly I had overestimated the baggage handling prowess of the Istanbul ground team, as my bag was nowhere to be seen.  Now I'm not a fast runner but, as it turns out, I can run faster than a beige hard-shell Samsonite bag.  I took the walk of shame over to the lost luggage desk where I waited in line patiently for 20mins before I handed the lady my baggage claim ticket to report my bag Not Here.  She did some typing on her system and then blithely pronounced that "Your bag is still in Istanbul" and that "It will be here at 8pm on Sunday".

Wait.... what? Did you say SUNDAY?  But it's only Friday morning and there is another flight coming tomorrow, so why is it not going to be here until Sunday???  She, helpfully, had no idea but could only shrug and say that's all the information she had, before she then handed me my Property Irregularity report with a case number and a pamphlet from Turkish airlines listing both a number to call and a web address to log onto to track your bag.  It was pointless getting mad at her - but I was a bit annoyed - and baffled.  Why the delay??   It made a difference regarding the address for delivery of my bag as, by Sunday evening, my tour will have started and we will be 2hrs away from Krakow, based in the town of Zakopane for the following 4 nights.

But it could have been worse - I still have my shoes (yey) and I could call Turkish when I got to the hotel to find out more.  In the cab ride into town, I also discovered there is a large shopping mall in the city center, so as soon as I got in, maybe had breakfast and a shower, I could head over there and buy a couple of outfits and essentials to keep me going through the weekend.  It was at this point I regretted not having taken my thought process about the possibility of my main bag getting delayed just a little bit further and packed a spare outfit or at least some deodorant.   I did have that little mini wash kit from Turkish Airlines (toothbrush, tiny tube of toothpaste, facial spritz) so at least that was something.  The rest I could buy.  

Except no.  Because for today - and today only! - it was Poland's National Constitution Day and - you guessed it again - ALL THE SHOPS WERE CLOSED!!!!  According to the taxi driver, the only things open today were museums - but no stores.  FFS.   This was testing my resolve to Stay Positive to the max.  At least when I got to my hotel (which is really nice, btw) my room was ready (I had booked it from the night before to guarantee an early check-in) and I was just in time for third breakfast.  I restored myself with several cups of coffee and decided that I simply had to Make The Best of It.  I was here, it was a glorious sunshiney day (yet again!) and maybe, just maybe, a museum gift store might at least have a t-shirt to sell me.  I had tried to call Turkish Airlines on the number the lady had given me but - in another test of my patience - the number refused to connect and told me to "try again later".  The website also offered no additional clarity, so I was SOL.

So off I headed - it was a short walk into the old part of town, past some gloriously fragrant lilac bushes and to my first stop, the Illusion Museum ((I wondered for a moment if I could pick some and stuff down my top as I really was testing my WoolX's black long sleeved shirt's no-smell promise to the limit).  I didn't hold out much hope for clothing options (and rightly so, as it happened) but the museum itself looked really fun, a perfect antidote to the stressful journey.  And it was.  It was in an old house and, over two floors, had tons of interactive exhibits and displays all showing some form of optical (or otherwise) illusions.  I had Krusty to keep me company so we enjoyed taking some fun pics - he has a very active Instagram page, so he's always nagging me to take his picture.  

These look a different size - right?

Wrong!  They are the exact same size!
The brain is so cray cray

Shadow illusion - cool, huh?

Krusty getting up close and personal
with a Tesla coil thingy

My favorite pic of the day!
Kaleidoscope Krusty and me!

Am I tiny - or is the chair giant?
And can you spot Krusty?

Ommm....

My next intended stop after the Illusion Museum was another place, off the old market square, called the Cloth Museum.  That was also pretty close, only about another 10 min walk away.  En route I came across a Carrefour Express that was open (like a 7-11) and SCORE!!!  There it was, lurking on a top shelf, next to the soda fridge - a can of deodorant!!!  I was SO happy!!  I don't have to be stinky anymore!!  When I got to the Cloth Museum there were, indeed, many stalls inside its walls selling all manner of tourist tat (amber is a big thing here apparently) but SCORE!!!  All the terrible Krakow themed t-shirts your heart could desire!  I found a navy one that wasn't too obnoxious and then SCORE!  A couple stalls down, I found one that sold socks!  YES!  One pair of dumpling patterned socks later and things were indeed looking up. I also managed to find some sunglasses in another souvenir shop, so now at least I was only squinting because of extreme jet lag and tiredness, vs that and the 80 degree sun directly overhead.

By this time, it was past midday and I was starting to flag a little, so I decided to make my way back to the hotel.  As I started to do so, I became aware of a disturbance down the main street, then two police motorbikes slowly rolled past and I realized that there was a parade coming my way.  It was the town's parade to mark Constitution day and it was made up first of people dressed in medieval costumes (the whole thing was led by a pied piper type character), followed by various regiments on horseback, followed by guys with shovels to clean up after the horses, then marching soldiers, then various dignitaries and then random other participants (after which point I bailed).  So that was an unexpected and fun thing to experience.  It could have done with a few more (any) bagpipes and drums but I guess you can't have everything.

Where there are horses, there are guys behind with big
 pooper scoopers.  I imagine the people following 
them were very grateful for this!

I finally got back to the hotel and crashed hard.  I slept for a good 4 hrs, waking up around 6pm and deciding to again Make The Best of Things and find somewhere scenic for a light dinner.  I ended up on a rooftop bar about 10mins walk away which had a lovely view of the main castle and river.  It was still pretty hot but now, wearing my brand new t-shirt and freshly be-sprayed with Nivea's finest 24hr protection, I was able to take it all in my gloriously fragrant stride.

My haul from Day 1

A well-deserved raspberry spritz

Relaxing after a bit of a stressful day.
Check out that amazing t-shirt!  

Pretty view from the rooftop bar across the river

I slept really well and woke the next morning feeling optimistic and happy that I could supplement my tiny capsule wardrobe with a few more necessities - namely some fresh undies!  I headed down to breakfast around 8.30am (again, having failed to get through to the Turkish Airlines helpline) where I met a few of the other ladies who will be on this trip.  I think there are a dozen of us and so far, everyone seems very nice, so I think its going to be OK.  The ladies I met at breakfast were all very sympathetic towards my plight ("we've all been there" was the general reaction) and one lady offered to lend me whatever I needed as she had radically overpacked!  I thanked her and said I'd bear it in mind, but I was pretty confident I could get enough to tide me over from the mall, so that's where I headed straight after breakfast.

The mall was big, modern and OPEN!  Yey!!  Full of a mixture of both European and US brands - there was plenty of choice!  I first headed to Desigual where I lucked out with 2 dresses - one short sleeved and knee length, one longer.  I then went to Tommy Hilfiger which is obviously more of a premium brand here in Poland than it is in the US - I was expecting bargain prices for my Zloty but it was kinda pricey.  Instead I shopped in some local stores and picked up some loose black trousers and a t-shirt.  All I needed to complete my capsule wardrobe to tide me over to Sunday evening were some undies - so that's when I headed into Intimissimo, a lingerie store, and found myself explaining to the store assistant that I was after some knickers that wouldn't, well... you know.. creep up.  Hence the wedgie mime.  She did (thankfully) finally understand what I was getting at and found the least ridey-uppy pair in the store - paired with a couple of lightweight bras for the girls, I now had underwear!  I did hedge my wedge, as it were, and headed over to C&A (yes - they still exist!) and bought me some granny pants just to be on the safe side.  Don't want to be picking knickers out of me crack from the next week. Ain't nobody's got time for that.

The haul - end of Day 2

I'm not sure exactly at what point it happened, but it dawned on me an hour later as I was still making my way through the mall, that I may not fully believe Turkish Airlines' promise to return my bag to me tomorrow evening.  I had picked up quite a few additional pieces and I realized I was basically pretty much shopping to tide me over for a full week.  I don't have everything I need (no waterproof jacket, for example) but I now have enough such that if my bag takes longer to arrive than Sunday, it's not a total disaster.  And - given the message on the baggage tracking website is one that says "we are still in the process of locating your bag" - I'm not really filled with hope at this point.  I found a drugstore so loaded up on the rest of the stuff I would need to survive (anti-frizz hair serum is desperately needed - I look like I've been electrocuted) so right now, I'm feeling pretty chill about things.  I found an outdoors type shop, so that I could buy a pair of hiking socks to go with the hiking boots I'd packed in my carry-on.  I'd even found a Starbucks for my obligatory You Are Here mug (a little mini one, which is super cute - and takes up less space).  I REALLY hope my bag does turn up at some point - I've got some really nice stuff in there that I would be super bummed to lose - so come on, Turkish Airlines. Get your finger out and send me my bag already!  I'm here in Poland for another 8 days, so the clock is ticking!!

Tomorrow - I meet the rest of the group and the official trip begins.  I'm hoping things are a little less eventful from here on in!  Good night!!

Lunch today was a traditional "sour soup"
with potatoes, sausage and - yes - a hard
boiled egg in it.