Splatogonia!    

So am now back in Chicago - spring seems to have come crashing in while we were away, as the garden is chockful of green shoots starting to poke their head above the ground and, as I write, there is an impressively grouchy thunderstorm rumbling its displeasure overhead.  

Our trip back was uneventful (no broken planes this time) - flying out of Buenos Aires this time, connecting via Houston.  I really did love BA - I don't recall much from my last visit (other than eating a GIANT steak at a restaurant called Las Lilas and the trip to the cemetery) and I certainly didn't remember how beautiful a city it is.  Our guide was this awesome lady called Ana who had a fascinating backstory (trained as an architect and urban planner but also works on the family farm, mother is an anthropologist, grandparents were on the last boat out of Europe to BA to escape the Nazis) and who gave us a great overview of the city's history and structure.  It was also raining HARD in BA so she had to continually revamp our day's activities to account for whatever the weather was doing in that particular moment, but she did it with ease and we always felt like she had a plan (Phillipe from Santiago - take notes here!!).  

One of our first stops was as this brilliant local store, just round the corner from our hotel, which basically sold supplies for gauchos and horses which, given the huge importance of horses here, is not as touristy as it sounds.  I bought a cool leather necklace and we also bought a set of hunting balls (or bolas) to hang up in SkyNest - they are traditionally used by the gauchos and are thrown from the back of the horse to wrap around the legs of cattle to bring them down.  We figured they may also come in handy in case of overly rowdy brunch parties.  Interestingly, nothing had a price on it - and not for the usual reason that the item was eye-wateringly expensive, a la "if you have to ask, you can't afford it".  Instead, all the products were labeled with a QR code which the sales associate would then scan to find the price - the reason for this is that inflation is so rampant here in Argentina (their economy is in Capital T Trouble) that any written down price would be out of date in a few weeks (according to Ana, prices increase by 15% each month!).  

Absolutely stunning tomb (don't blink!)

The rest of our city tour took us to some of the iconic sights of the city including, of course, a visit to the Recoleta cemetery where the rich and famous are buried.  Interestingly, it originally started off as a place were poor people were interred - but that changed after the wealthy people of BA decided to up sticks and move from the South part of the city to the Northern part of the city, following a devastating yellow fever epidemic that was caused by soldiers returning home after fighting the Spanish in the 1850-1870's (read more about it here: (Yellow Fever).  That moved the richer part of the city away from the port and the dense tenement buildings into a less developed part of the city, where they then built incredible Parisian-style mansions and palaces.  I think if I had been born in Buenos Aires like our guide Ana, I might also have been inspired to study architecture too, as there are so many beautiful and interesting buildings.  And yes, there are areas of the city that are less beautiful - big overcrowded slums that remain - but again Ana gave us a nuanced overview of some of the challenges (both economic and societal) that exist with attempts to renovate and improve these areas.  She said its ultimately easier and more practical to build new, better infrastructure than it is to try and revamp old, decrepit neighborhoods - as evidenced by the new bus lanes that were built in the middle of the city that now funnel them onto dedicated roads throughout the area, reliving congestion for the cars and increasing the efficiency of the entire transportation system.

FUN FACT: Yellow fever (which I know nothing about because, yey! - modern medicine) is also known as "Black Vomit".  I'll just leave it there for you to fill in the rest of the details on your own. You're most welcome.

some of the mausoleums go 7 levels down....

some are very elaborate and well-kept

others not so much - abandoned
and used for other purposes

creepy caskets - fortunately, no
hand prints seen in the dust anywhere....

the beautiful and spooky Recoleta cemetery under moody skies....

Krusty pays Evita's tomb a visit - she was a
 polarizing figure, for sure

Additional stops of interest included this incredible book store which used to be a theater, notable private residences (some of which are now either embassies or fancy hotels), plus a bonkers restaurant that was filled to the brim with antiques and general Quirky Stuff.  Apparently the owner rents some of these items out for movie sets - and it was one of the most confusing and interesting places we've ever seen!  We didn't eat there because apparently the weirdness of the decor distracts from the food being Not All That Great  but it would have been fun to have spent a bit more time exploring as every nook and cranny we stumbled into seemed to hold some increasingly oddball treasure!  

This book store regularly makes the top 10 list of
Best Book Stores in the world

Re food, we got to enjoy the best eats of our entire trip at this great little neighborhood restaurant that Ana recommended which happened to have a Michelin plaque nailed to its outside wall (quite literally a Good Sign).  The beet salad was sooooo good and I had the biff (mainly cos it was fun to say it to order).  Lisa tried some delightful soft pillowy dumplings, while Matt braved the bones and enjoyed some delicious Patagonic trout.  If you ever find yourself in BA, check out Caseros restaurant (Michelin review here)- trust me, you will thank me afterwards.  BA also has great chocolate and ice-cream (presumably imported in from Bariloche in the south of the country - Argentina's Little Switzerland) so later on in the tour, we sheltered from the rain (again) with a cup of coffee and a couple scoops of gelato (the store had a bit of a bunny theme, which endeared it to me no end) - we had the hazelnut and chocolate - delish!!!  I also bought some chocolate bunnies, ostensibly "for the kids" for Easter.  We'll see how many survive to be gifted....  <surreptitiously eats mini chocolate bunny>

Chocolate bunnies!  And ice
cream! Am I in heaven?

After a terrific day (during which I also added two more mugs to my extensive Starbucks You Are Here collection), we finally headed back to our hotel to pick up our stored luggage, change into travel clothes and head to the airport.  Fortunately, the rain and thunder had eased off by this point, so our flight was still showing as on time - so we then bid Ana and our driver a fond farewell and headed into the airport.  It was a bit busy and it took us about a half hour to get through security after we'd checked in (we realized at this point how spoiled we'd all become, with TSA precheck and CLEAR) but it was fine - I just zoned out (as you do) and we got through eventually.  The lounge was decent enough (tasty pink bubbles) and before long, we were all safely ensconced on our 10hr flight from EZE to Houston.  I opted just to sleep and amazingly managed to get some solid zzz's on the plane! Yey! 

low-key, understated decorations
inside the main church in BA

Quick aside for a Bunny Top Travel Tip - if you are traveling on Polaris - you usually are given two pillows - a regular one and a smaller memory foam one.  I never really knew what to do with the little one - do you stuff it behind your back?  Your neck?  Take it home as a souvenir?  Well, friends - here's what you do with it.  When you lie down to go to sleep, put it between your knees.  Somehow, magically, you will feel so much more comfortable than before - its amazing!  Even though you are lying down, sometimes its still not all that comfy (I know, I know - first world problems) especially as there is no mattress and the seat can feel very hard and unforgiving.  BUT with that one bit of squish between your knees (steady), somehow it manages to trick your brain into thinking you are lying on a regular mattress and you can then just go the fudge to sleep.  Next time you get the chance to - try it!

BA had several of these gigantic, dramatic trees in their parks

Atlas doing his thang

Don't ask...

BA was full of stunning
 architecture like this

Beets! Soooo tasty

They know how to cook a mean roast
 potato too, those crazy geniuses

Entrance to one of the craziest
eateries I've ever visited!

It was so confusing.  And awesome.  A bit like 
season one of Westworld or all fashion in the 80s.

A veritable treasure trove

Yes.  That is a racing car in front of two lion statues -
and some beer kegs

God only knows what is hiding inside all
those tiny little drawers....

And on the front, it was marked "Paramount
Studios" so it is likely to be the Real Thing,

Anyhoo, so that was our time in Buenos Aires and, alas, the end of our expedition to Patagonia.  I spent a bit of time reflecting on how it was different to my previous trip which, if you want to read about it, you can do so starting from here:  2007 Patagonian adventure  In essence for me, nothing had changed - and everything had changed.  The mountains looked the same (stunning in Torres del Paine, resolutely annoyingly absent in FitRoy) and the latrines definitely smelled the same.  The woodpeckers in the forests of El Chalten still risk CTE on a daily basis (sidebar - apparently, though, when they are bashing away at the trees, their tongues (which are really long - about one third of its body length) are curled up, inside their skulls, and wrapped around their brains to protect them from the impact!  For more fun wildlife facts, check this out: https://lastorres.com/en/blog/5-surprising-facts-about-torres-del-paine-wildlife/).   El Chalten still looked a bit run-down, but authentic and charming and the hot chocolate was still a worthy reward at the end of a 20km hike.  

What had changed?  Well, obviously my companion set was different - and awesome.  No desire to kill anyone with blunt cutlery on this trip.  El Calafate was definitely bigger and more touristy than I remember while the Perito Moreno glacier did seem smaller than before.  As I mentioned on one of my FB posts, has now started to retreat over the last 2yrs after having been one of the few stable glaciers in the region - it must be more of my perception than reality as it hasn't shrunk by that much since I was there 17yrs ago.  Also - 17 YEARS! I think I'm in fairly decent shape still (although we definitely got overtaken on the trails a lot!) but I am starting to Have Knees, particularly my right one.  I probably should now confess that my knee had taken a bit of a bashing during our mini ice-trek on Perito Moreno.... hence the reason for the title of this blog post....  

Despite having written before at length about my learnings on wearing crampons, I clearly need to add "Don't attempt to talk to your friend behind you" as the act of turning your head and not paying attention to where you are putting your feet - just for a split second - WILL cause you to inadvertently step through the front loop of your right foot with the back spike of your left one and that WILL bring you crashing to the floor in the most unceremonious way possible.  The fact that this happened just after we'd enjoyed a celebratory tot of whisky poured over 800yr old glacial ice made it even more embarrassing, so I did my best to pop straight back up with a cheery "I'm OK!" and pretend that it hadn't happened.  I had landed squarely on - yes, you guessed it - my dodgy knee so it was fooking painful as that ice ain't forgiving in the least.  The hole in my pants that the ice punched through was small enough to not be that noticeable - but when I took a look later, my right knee looked like I was 12yrs old again - all scuffed up and bleeding, with an impressive gouge right in the middle of my kneecap.   But I was very brave - and, in one of those bizarre Life Comes Full Circle Moments - I realized that I had also hurt that knee the last time I was in Patagonia - tripping over a tree branch in the Poincenot campsite in a midnight run to the Latrine of Doom.  So at least from that perspective, nothing has changed!  

It did make me wonder later in our trip, as we were hiking back from the underwhelming muddy lake that was Laguna Torres, whether there must be a point where you have got to be either Too Old or Too Short to cope with the uneven terrain and large rocks that you have to clamber up/down.  Fortunately I'm not there yet (despite the knees) - but I am more aware of - and grateful for - the number of active years I still have ahead of me - so I'm going to continue to trudge up and down cold, windy mountainsides for as long as I am able.

Anyway, that was Splatagonia.  You might notice I'm back on my old blog site, rather than the Word Press one I set up.  I'm still figuring out what platform I want to use - and, for that matter, what I want to do in my retirement.  As you might know, I've been doing some volunteering work which I'm enjoying but what I LOVE to do is travel.  And write about it.  So that's what I'm going to focus on for this year. Not because I want to become a Travel Influencer (shudder) or grow a huge online following or make money or whatever but simply because I enjoy capturing the little moments that help turn a trip into a cherished memory.   And I enjoy sharing those memories with you, my faithful (and patient) blogwatcher as I try on the identity of Travel Writer for a bit.  I do still need to work out how to do this so it becomes less of a Rod For My Own Back during the actual trips themselves - but that's for me to figure out. Like most things of value, the end result is always worth the effort, so I look forward to sharing more with you over the coming months. Stay tuned....