Day 3: Tingly bits, alpaca knits and Brazilian twits

The main square - Plaza des Armes

Before I recount the day's adventures, lets get straight to the burning question that I'm sure you all have by this stage - what's the altitude like and how are you feeling?
Well, in a word - tingly.   To counteract the effects of the altitude, both Lisa and I are taking a drug called Diamox which is a diuretic.  Now, don't ask me how taking a diuretic helps with altitude sickness, but apparently it does, so we're taking it.  We're also imbibing the coca tea that i mentioned yesterday, also a diuretic because it has a bucket load of caffeine in it.

Now, since we arrived yesterday we've been feeling a bit weird, on and off, with both of us feeling plain knackered as well as a bit headachey and space-cadet-y.  We took it easy yesterday, as recommended, so today we were starting to feel a bit better - aside from this peculiar tingly sensation that would occasionally pop up in our feet or, in my case, on my face!  Its a bit odd to explain but it comes on for a while, then goes away again.  So we looked up the side-effects of Diamox yesterday and, in among the usual grab-bag of Bad Stuff That Could Happen to You, there it was - tingling of the extremities!  So at least we're not going completely mad and there's a pukka reason for it.  The other slightly less entertaining side effect of Diamox is that it makes you pee like horses.  I do hope that one wears off before we are out for all-day hikes...

The altitude is probably as you'd expect - yesterday we could really feel how any slight exertion caused the heart race to immediately elevate (ie bending down to unpack the suitcase!).  Today its not been quite so bad, however, walking up the steps at Sacsayhuaman (which I'll tell you about in a minute) proved to be rather humbling as we both became winded in a very short space of time climbing less than 100 steps!  Obviously we still have a bit of acclimatization left to go.

But, we're doing fine - we're drinking plenty of water (and consequently peeing like horses) and are staying well hydrated, so hopefully by the time we start our hike proper on Friday, we'll be fully acclimatized and ready for action!

The dark wall of the Sun Temple on the left, as part of the
monastery complex of Quricancha

Anyway, to today.  We had a fairly leisurely start, ambling down to breakfast around 9.30am where I thoroughly confused the juice lady by asking her to blend me some bananas and strawberries.  All very confusing.  I had a cup of mind-crunchingly strong coffee, before deciding that probably wasn't a wise combo with the coca tea and by 10am we were done and ready to head out into town to explore.  The weather was a very pleasant 60 degrees or so, with the sun managing to dodge the clouds enough so that it was warm and sunny to sit outside in.  Our hotel is only 3-4 blocks away from the main square, so walking down through the narrow, high walled streets towards the main square was very easy and, in no time, we found ourselves in Plaza del Armes, site of the main Cathedral of Cusco.

Alpaca!!!  An obsession is born....

In front of the cathedral was a beautiful little planted square, jammed full of beautiful flowers in full bloom, so we sat on one of the benches there, consulted the guidebook to try and figure out our plan and fended off multiple vendors of blankets, paintings, alpaca keyrings and other artisanal knick-knacks.  After a while, we picked a local tour operator that was well-reviewed, so trundled off to find their offices which turned out to be fairly close by.  Once there, we went for it and booked up the following: a city tour of Cusco for today, an all-day excursion to the Sacred Valley tomorrow and finally a cooking class for Thursday!

We figured the Cusco city tour would be a good way to explore our surroundings in a fairly low key kind of way, even though it was a group tour (that I usually try and avoid).  The trip ran from 1.30pm – 6pm and visited the following places:

The Cathedral: Constructed between 1560 and 1654 upon the foundations of the Inca palace of Wiracocha.  This immense chapel includes the chapel of Jesus, Joseph and Mary, and the church of the Triumph.  While the construction lasted for over a century, the decoration went on for 300 years and today more than 400 paintings of the Cusco School can be seen amidst beautifully carbed alters and a magnificent choir stand.

Quricancha: Meaning “cloister of gold”, is located within the monastery of Santo Domingo, where the remains of the former sun temple of the Incas are found.  Inside, one can admire some astonishing slanted Inca walls, windows and niches in trapezoidal shapes that have withstood several earthquakes due to its anti-seismic design, having been constructed with extremely close-fitting stones.

Sacsayhuaman: This Quechua word (the still widely spoken language of the Incas) literally translates to “decorated head of puma”.  It was used as the palace from which the descendant of the sun ruled his people.  The Europeans believed it to be a fortress of some kind due to the immense blocks of rock that were used in its construction.  Cusco tradition claims that around 70,000 people worked here for 50 years.

Qenqo: This name translates to “labyrinth” and is probably called that way because of two caves which hide under an immense rock with carved platforms or “altars”, representing the so-called “sacrificial rock”.  There is also an amphitheater with 19 niches that were probably used for giving offerings and a large rock sculpture (that is said to represent a puma, the deity of the site).  Interesting zigzag channels and a great variety of carved stones are also found on top of the huge rock formation

.

Puca Pucara – Meaning “Red Fortress” this massive construction was used for food storage and also as a control garrison for travelers that visited Cusco in Inca times

Tambo Machay – A beautiful ceremonial site which sits, literally, on a hillside spring and was used as a place to worship water.  Today, the permanently flowing water is still associated with long life and fertility by the people of Cusco.

Gold relief panel at the Sun Temple

The tour was originally supposed to come and pick us up from our hotel between 1.15-1.30pm but then we got a phone call just before 1.30pm saying that instead could we go to the cathedral main entrance and meet the tour there.  It was a bit annoying cos we’d already been in town and had left to come back to the hotel expressly to meet the tour group but fine, off we trotted back into town and waited in the melee outside the cathedral to get scooped up by a slightly harassed looking lady, to then buy our entrance tickets and join the rest of the group who were already inside.  The first few minutes were a bit crap as it was a larger group than expected (at least 20) and because we were late, the guide had already started and we had to sit quite a way away which meant I couldn’t hear anything!  However, that was easily fixed as soon as we started to move to the next bit of interest in the cathedral, both Lisa and I got our New Yorker on, powered through the crowds and made sure for the rest of the tour we were standing/sitting right next to him so we could hear.

Hall way to the sun temple

Unfortunately we weren’t allowed to take any pictures inside the cathedral, so I can’t share any with you.  I did, later, buy a DVD with lots of pictures and videos on (sold to us by a man on our bus) but this computer doesn’t have a DVD drive, so I can’t get to them til I get home!  But, nonetheless, the cathedral was very impressive with lots of paintings, statues, pointy bits, wood carvings and silver.  Churches and the like do tend to leave me a bit cold, though (sorry, it’s the atheist in me) so I can’t really rhapsodize over them for hours – but I can appreciate the artistry particularly the section where the choir sits which very much reminded me of King’s College in Cambridge.

Courtyard of the monastery

After the cathedral, we walked to our next stop on the tour – the remnants of a sun temple within Santa Domingo monastery.  This was pretty impressive, as you can see from the photos below – I’m sure I’ll focus more on this in future blogs but the construction skills of the Incas were absolutely astonishing.  Throughout this part of the tour we were walking past the original walls that they built – and they looked brand new. No mortar was used and the stones are slotted together perfectly.  How on earth they cut them with so much precision is still a complete mystery to me – maybe my DVD will clear it all up for me….

Another impressively carved Incan rock.  This time, this one was
the upturned base of a column handily fashioned into an altar

Next up after the sun temple, the site that all the tourists call “Sexy Woman” – but not before we had to drop off one of our number at the hospital, an older lady who’d been doing the tour up to that point in a wheelchair and who was complaining of shortness of breath.  Her and her granddaughter had only just arrived that day, so they’d broken the cardinal rule of Taking It Easy on Day 1 and they also were not taking anything to counteract the altitude, so no wonder they were in bad shape.  It was probably just as well she left the tour at that point, because the last places we visited all involved some degree of walking and climbing up and down stairs, so there’s no way she would have been physically able to do it.

Anyway, as a result of that unanticipated detour, the rest of our tour for the afternoon was under a bit of a time crunch, especially because the sun goes down pretty quickly around 5.45pm, so we had to get a move on.  Unfortunately, part of the group were three Brazilians who were always late and wandering off, so our guide was getting increasingly frustrated with how much they were slowing us down and throwing us all off schedule.  It got really bad at the Sexy Woman stop where we had to meet back at the bus on the dot, ready to leave at 5.05pm, as the day was running out and we still had 2 places left to visit.  By 5.05pm, everyone was on the bus except them, by 5.10pm, our guide was out looking for them and at 5.15pm, they eventually sauntered into sight.  Everyone one on the bus was very annoyed with them and I even opened the window of the bus and shouted at them to hurry the eff up “WE’RE ALL WAITING FOR YOU AND YOU ARE MAKING US LATE!”).  They looked a little startled and sped up a bit to get on the bus - I blame the Diamox but I think behavior like that is the height of rudeness, so I didn’t hold back.  How terribly American of me....

View of the sun temple from the outside  - its
the long dark wall

Because of that, our last 2 stops were in twilight, then almost darkness – Puca Pucara and Tambo Machay.   We stopped at Puca for about 5 mins, just enough time to get some pictures then got straight back on the bus for the short drive to Tambo Machay, where the final stop of the day involved a 10min walk to go see some more Inca construction, this time with fountains running through them that never run dry.  At both Tambo and Sexy Woman, we had to climb up some stairs or elevation and again, that little bit of exercise gave us just enough of a reminder to not be too complacent yet that we’d beaten the effects of the altitude.  I’m going to wear my heart rate monitor tomorrow so we can see how high we go and the effect on my heart rate, just as a way of trying to gauge how much up Shit Creek we’ll be come Friday.

On the way home, there was the obligatory visit to the Alpaca factory store – so I duly obliged by buying a 100% baby alpaca sweater and throw for my bed.  Both are beautiful quality and weren’t too pricey, so I was pleased to at least get a start on the Alpaca shopping list (which is pretty extensive in my mind already….).

The underground alter and mummification prep
area at Qenqo

After being dropped off back in town by the bus, we then treated ourselves to a very nice dinner at one of the best places in town.  We managed to get in without a ressie because we were quite early (it was only 6.30pm) and we decided to try some of the local specialties including alpaca carpacchio and trout ceviche for starters.  We also tried Peruvian champagne – perhaps less of a success, but hey – it was an admirable effort!  And, with that, we finally wended our way home and headed off to bed.   By all accounts, not a bad effort for Day 3!  Tomorrow, it’s the Sacred Valley!

The impressive ruins at Sacsayhuaman

Twilight at Tambo Machay

The ceremonial fountains at Tambo Machay

Alpaca carpacchio and trout ceviche.  Our waiter was at pains
to make sure we understood "its raw, yes??"

Can't remember what this was, but i guess Peruvian
mountain hens are pretty tiny

The Peruvian Champagne Experiment. n = 1

"Do you have a flag?"

Sarah and Lisa's Most Excellent Peruvian Adventure: Day 2 - Chickens, check-in and Cusco

The Pisco Sour. Small but potent.
 Like my mate Lisa.

Today's itinerary: Lima to Cusco

We made it!!  We're here in our fabulous hotel in Cusco, the El Mercado Tunqui, a little chap has just stopped by the room to present us each with a chocolate in a tiny straw basket, and we're about to head down for dinner after a thoroughly pleasant afternoon of chilling out after our journey.  Our heads haven't exploded yet due to the altitude so so far, so good!

The day started at a reasonable time, with the alarm set for 7am, giving us plenty of time to have a leisurely breakfast before heading over the Sky Bridge across the road to the terminal building for our 10.30am flight.  My head felt a little fuzzy this morning - whether due to altitude or the crushingly strong (but free!) pisco sour I'd had at the lobby bar the night before, so I hopped into the shower before breakfast to try and wake myself up a bit.  The shower was one of those that vacillates between fantastically hot or fooking freezing within about a 3 millimeter dial range, so that was a test of fine motor function.  Adding to the fun was the curious fact that the soap appeared to be made out of some type of stone (soapstone?) in that it pretty much refused to lather up.  It eventually gave me just enough suds to just about get clean, but it was more effort than should have strictly been necessary.

First view of the Andes.
Its quite big really.  

Breakfast at the hotel was very good - I had an excellent frittata thing plus some sweet, juicy papaya chunks and cold meat.  I studiously avoided the white bread rolls - after Deflategate yesterday, I need to be a bit more judicious in my carbo-loading choices.  After checking out, we meandered over to the terminal building to check-in for our flight.  Entering the terminal on the second floor, we wandered round a bit trying to find the check-in desk for Peruvian Airlines until this chap very helpfully asked us "check-in?" and, on nodding, pointed us in the right direction.

Except it wasn't.  After walking for another few minutes in the direction he'd pointed us in, it was clear he'd sent us the wrong way, so back we trundled and decided we had to actually go downstairs to where the check-in desks were.  Another 2 guys asked us "check-in?" on the way there - at which point we started to wonder if we'd actually gotten it all wrong and in fact they were offering us somewhere to go for lunch.

God only knows how I managed to refrain from
opening up this overhead bin...

We got downstairs and saw the desks - but then had to exit the terminal building and then re-enter it again 50 yds further down.  Not entirely sure what the rationale was for that (it was a little confusing) but finally we saw the Peruvian Airlines check-in desk so went and queued up to chicken our bags.  It was at this point we discovered that Peruvians obviously enjoy freaking out their foreign visitors as the list of flights on the board above the desk for chicken did not include our Cusco flight!  After a moment or two of "shit! is this a real airline after all and just who did we book our tickets with" panicking, eagle-eyed Lisa spotted that none of the flights listed were domestic ones, only international flights.  Very strange.  And we we finally chicked in with the chap behind the desk, all was fine, our bags got weighed and loaded on and he even switched our seats to give us the exit row with extra leg room.  Nice!

By this stage there was only about 45mins or so before we were due to board, so we just proceeded straight through security, without even pausing to look at the Britt Shop (much to Lisa's chagrin).  The flight itself was pretty smooth and short, only about an hour and a half during which we actually got fed and I discovered the real reason that T-Rex's became extinct all those millions of years ago.

Free food!  In a box!  

More carbs!  Yey!!

Extra legroom seats also required extra arm room.
Thus proving that the real reason T-rex's became
 extinct was that they couldn't reach their
 airplane meals so starved to death.

And, in no time at all, we were landing in Cusco. The approach reminded me of landing in Paro airport in Bhutan 3 years ago, where you are flying into the valley between the craggy mountain ranges that tower up on either side of you.  It was quite cloudy so the view was a little obscured at times, but it was still pretty impressive nonetheless.  And terrifying too given that, come Friday, we'll be hiking our little asses off in those imposing peaks!

Here comes the tea!  Just arrived and relaxing
in the courtyard of our hotel

As you'd expect, the airport itself is tiny with only a single baggage carousel, which made it easier to guess where our bags were going to come out.  It was stuffed full of tour operator desks, porters with metal trolley carts and taxi drivers looking for their pick-up so had a nicely chaotic feel.  We'd arranged a transfer with our hotel in Cusco (who is also affiliated with Mountain Lodges of Peru, the tour operator who is running our trip) which made it easy and within no time our bags were out, we met our driver and we were on our way!   The drive to our hotel was only about 20 mins or so and we drove past some incredible buildings and monuments.  I'll blog more about those over the next couple of days as we explore Cusco before leaving on Friday to start our hike.  Our hotel is located in the old part of town, which is the main tourist area with lots of fancy hotels, restaurants and plenty of markets and bazaars in which to buy all the alpaca-themed gifts you could ever wish for.

We were met at the hotel by a very friendly chap who took our bags up to our room for us and first offered us (at last!) the famous coca tea!  Apparently this elixir is going to save us from altitude sickness, so everyone has been strongly encouraging us to stay well-hydrated, avoid alcohol and drink plenty of coca tea!  Now, I think the name is a bit misleading cos I don't think it has cocaine in it, but I think it does have a sh*tload of caffeine in it, so its the diuretic effect that apparently makes it effective for altitude sickness.  I'll write more about that tomorrow (I am feeling a bit space-cadety) as well as the wonderful effects of the Diamox that we're taking to also offset the altitude.  I'm very glad we decided to come here a few days early ahead of our hike - just taking the stairs up to our room left us both feeling a bit winded and our hearts pounding, so it will be good to have fully acclimatized before starting CrazyHike proper on Friday.

Coca tea - our beverage saviour!

For now, its almost 10pm and I am fading fast, so I will leave you with the few pictures that I've taken so far of our hotel and our immediate surroundings.  Tomorrow the plan is to have an easy day ambling around Cusco, maybe checking out a few museums (the chocolate museum!) and definitely checking out some of the amazing restaurants this town is known for!  Huzzah for vacations!

Overlooking the rooftops of Cusco from the balcony of our room

Chez Lisa and Sarah

Those alpaca blankets are coming home with me....

View looking down into the hotel's courtyard and out beyond to
the mountain range

Lunch - stuffed peppers and a traditional corn
soup.  Both were excellent.

Relaxing by the fire after dinner for a quick
game of Spite and Malice.  Current score:
Lisa 2, Sarah 1. 

Eclectic decor - alpaca heads?

The bar of the hotel - nice and dim and chilled out,
perfect for 2 weary travelers to relax.

Sarah and Lisa's Most Excellent Peruvian Adventure: Day 1 - Chicago/SF to Lima

Well, hello Peru!  Nice to finally meet you after all this time.  I must say that I am already enjoying your Pisco Sour flavored hospitality (ay carumba - its quite strong!) and the proximity of our hotel to the airport (mere steps away - huzzah!). I'm sitting in the hotel lobby, having finished the final bit of work I had left to do and am now waiting to be joined by Lisa, my travel buddy for the next 2 weeks.  But - to back up for a minute - I've just arrived in Lima, after a day's travel from Chicago to Miami, then Miami to Lima.  It was a pretty early start, up at 4.30am ready for my pick-up with the lovely Tim at 5.30am.   I was a bit McKnackered especially given that my new neighbors who, up until this point have been wonderfully quiet, picked last night to have a raucous party that kept me awake way past midnight when I was trying to have an early night.  Thanks, guys.

Anyway, I managed not to oversleep the alarm, made it to the airport in plenty of time and - this time - managed to actually get into the United lounge as i was traveling internationally.Given its my BIRTHDAY vacation (as well as it just being, well, my vacation), I decided to splurge on the air miles and treat myself to a round-trip business class ticket.  I believe my shampoo tells me that I'm Worth It, so figured it was OK.  (as a grumpy aside/first world problem for a moment - it still amazes me that you can be traveling on a business class ticket within the US and that doesn't grant you access to the lounge!  I mean, come on United!!   Its not as if you have champagne fountains spouting Dom Perignon with abandon and nubile 25 yr olds serving sushi from their rock hard abs, is it?  Whats the big deal about some shitty coffee and crappy pastries?).

The journey itself was uneventful - the planes helpfully left on time and did not crash, so fulfilled my Mazlow's hierarchy of needs when it comes to air travel.  I have to confess to a teeny weeny bit of stress at Lima airport's baggage carousel when my bag was probably one of the last ones out (despite its "priority" sticker) and I was starting to freak out just a little bit that they had lost my bag.  I don't really need to say just how much of a disaster that would be for our trip - but it would be quite a spectacularly crappy way to start, especially as we are scheduled to fly to Cusco tomorrow so there is very little time for any errant bags to catch up with us!   Just as I was starting to run through all the options in my head ("OK, where can I buy replacement hiking boots?" "how long do we have in Cusco til we start hiking?" "I can hike in this skirt, right...right??" ), my bag finally deigned to show up so all was again right with the world.  Phew.  Panic over.  Then it was simply a quick saunter through the arrivals hall, feigning worldly experience while fending off a thousand cabbies, following the signs for the Wyndham hotel.  An excellent piece of planning, I must say.

Now I'm sitting here in the lobby bar, writing this and wishing I hadn't eaten so many refined carbs during the day.  One of my rules during my vacation is that the rules (which usually happily govern my food/drink habits during the week) don't count, so I've been happily munching on white bread ham and cheese sandwiches and supping the free Prosecco in the Avianca lounge in Miami.   All the processed sh*t that I never normally touch.  Well, combined with the air travel, its a perfect storm of GI disturbance (Loopy - I may rival your title of Super Fermenter this evening).  One is making me fart, the other is making me congested so I'm very much hoping i manage to ..umm...deflate a little before Lisa turns up as we're sharing a room this evening (and throughout our vacation).   I just like to think of it as training for the oxygen deprivation we're going to be suffering when we get to Machu Picchu, so i'm doing everyone a favor really.

So, tomorrow, its onwards to Cusco, the gateway to Machu Picchu!  Not entirely sure what time our flight is tomorrow (Lisa booked the flights) but its only a short 1hr or so hop and then we finally get to find out just how crappy we feel at high altitude!!  Bring on the coca tea!!

It's here.....

Yes.  It has finally arrived.  And I'm sure you'll all be delighted to hear that it is even more horrific in the flesh than it was on my computer screen.  Now I can enjoy the fabulous tactile quality of the shiny shiny polyester and very much look forward to Photo Shoot Day itself, where I will get to model this fashion masterpiece for all and sundry.

Here's how things went down just a few moments ago.....

*PING*

USPS NOTIFICATION: Your parcel has been delivered.  Left in mailbox.

Me: "Oh fabulous...."

So innocent from the outside... you'd never know the horrors within.
But I do.  Oh yes.

How can even the wrapping paper be dreadfully tacky?  Who
ARE these people?

It just keeps getting worse.  I even know what the acronym on
the sticker stands for.  

First glimpse.
 First thought "its very brown"
Second thought "its not very nice, is it?"

Finally - the full horror revealed.  I can't believe this is actually
now IN MY HOUSE and, whats worse, is that I paid $90 for the
"privilege"!  This is the front, btw.

But the party continues in the back (steady).  So, no matter the
angle, have I got a bear swimming costume for you! 

Oh man.  This is not going to end well for me.

What I have learnt about commuting

So I've been living in Wicker Park for about a month now and am starting to adjust to the different commute into work each morning.  Its not that it takes me much longer (well, at least in the mornings - the evenings are a whole different ball of wax), its just that now my commute seems more, well, douchier.

I thought I was a fairly well-seasoned road warrier, having spent a couple of years as a sales rep back in the UK in the distant mists of time, driving upwards of 1,000 miles a week, as well as three painful ones "enjoying" the New Jersey and Philadelphia Turnpikes driving to/from my client during my Strat Planning Years.  I particularly used to LOVE it (really, I did) when I'd have an 8am meeting at my client's offices, so would get up at 4.30am to be on the road by 5.30am to make it in time (it was a solid 2hr drive) - to then arrive and only then be told the meeting had been canceled.  Those days were just so special.

But even I have been surprised by the simply heroic levels of ineptitude and general arseholery that I've observed on the I-94 on the 15 Mile Road to Deerfield (also the title of one of The Eagles lesser-known albums).  What are these people thinking?  Do they all have wives in labor in the back-seat who need to get to a hospital stat cos the baby's head is crowning?  Or are they all just very angry people who are on a mission to cause as much angst, death and destruction as they steamroller their way to their destination without regard for anyone else on the road?  Almost every single day, there are at least one or two bits of atrocious driving that make me shake my head in wonderment and make me feel very grateful I'm not that shitty a person.

In case you ever come to Chicago and find yourself on one of our delightful Interstate highways, here's what I've learned so far so that you can drive like a local:

Contrary to popular belief, the hard shoulder is, in fact, a full-on traffic lane, so please, go ahead and drive full speed down it.  I know you'll have to cut me up to get into my boring, mundane normal lane when your special one runs out or tapers off, but really - i don't mind, go right ahead.

Don't think about the traffic.  You will find out that, like me, that you are a reverse psychic with manifesting powers.  The very second you think to yourself "well, the traffic isn't too bad this morning" then BOOM.  Insta-jam.  Traffic will suddenly appear out of nowhere and will then be backed up for miles.  So, when you catch yourself about to think and pass judgement on that day's traffic flow - Just Say No and think of something, anything else instead.

While commuting in the morning rush hour definitely seems time sensitive (if I leave earlier, say 6.15am, I can be in the office by 7am, saving myself at least 15mins), commuting back into Chicago in the evening seems to be stubbornly time-insensitive.  It doesn't seem to matter when I leave the office in the afternoon - my drive home always takes about an hour and a half.  Kind of annoying, really, when you feel you've left the office early enough that the traffic gods should really cut you a break and let you get home just a tinsy-bit quicker than normal.  But they obviously don't give a sod and are capricious bastards so i'm certainly looking forward to the winter and what fun japes they are going to play on my commute home when the white stuff starts falling from the sky.

Baseball games are as annoying, traffic-wise, in Chicago as they are in San Francisco.  Its even worse in that this is congestion that isn't even serving the purpose of supporting a team that might actually win a game.  Pointless traffic.

The only bright spot, like the ice fields on Ceres, is that occasionally, just occasionally, the rozzers really do get the right man.  You know, the tool who drives like he thinks he's in the Grand Prix, weaving in and out of all the traffic at breakneck speed and who thinks his shit don't stink and that speed limits are for other people?  You know the one?  Well, I had one of those zoom past me the other week as I drove down to the lakefront for my group training run.  What he didn't know was that there was a police cruiser about 3 or 4 cars ahead of me.  Ah...sweet justice.  As I slowed down to take the exit off the freeway to the lakefront, there he was, pulled over by the state police and getting his ass handed to him on a plate.  Schaudenfreude is sometimes a glorious thing.

Decisions, decisions....

Well, arse biscuits.  I guess it was inevitable, really, wasn't it?  Thanks to the generosity of my latest star donors, Kellie, Karole, Barri, Candy and Lori, I am duty bound to report that I have now officially smashed through my supposed-to-have-been-unobtainable-so-I-dont-have-to-do-another-forfeit target of $3500.   As of writing, the exact total stands at $3603, so a HUGE thank you to my latest donors and everyone who has already contributed so far!  It really is quite incredible, so thanks for making my first ever fundraising experience such a wonderfully successful one.  Lori - your donation was the one that put me over the top so, like Daniel and Sam, you will also be the "lucky" recipient of a fabulous keepsake, once this whole nightmarish ordeal... sorry... fabulous running experience is over.

BUT WAIT!  Its not too late to donate, dearest blogwatchers!!  In true, annoyingly competitive fashion, I am now raising the stakes for the last time and increasing my target to $5000.  It feels terribly un-British to keep doing this, but there you are.  Must be the A-mur-ican part of me coming to the fore.  I know there are several of you out there who would like to donate and haven't yet gotten round to it - so there's still time and a new incentive!  I'm also now invested in trying to stay on top of my company's fundraising leaderboard, so you'll not only be helping a very worthwhile charitable cause but you'll be helping maintain my exceptionally fragile ego.

Here's the link: http://online.ccfa.org/goto/Sholloway

Before we get down to the business of selecting my $3500 forfeit, a quick update on what I've been up to this week.  Its been another busy one - I've been away all week on a work trip, and just got home from Boston, after having first spent 4 days in Washington DC.   I left Chicago on Saturday evening after what was a spectacularly disappointing Dessert Fest.  Earlier on in the day I'd run SEVEN miles in ridiculous humidity and 70 degree heat (even at 7am) for my group training, so gorging on sugar and champagne was to have been my reward.   It was Simply Dreadful.

It was held in this barn of a sports bar (the type of place you should never go to during daylight hours lest you see just how much of a bio-hazard all the soft furnishings really are) so perhaps that should have been the first clue this was not going to be the high quality event that I was expecting.  Rather than the smorgasbord of delicate artisanal patisserie offerings I was expecting from local bakers and cake makers, instead the desserts were mainly produced by the crap bar themselves and were basically various inedible lumps of synthetic crap.  Sarah, Cochon 555 this was not!  I think there was one dessert offering that was mildly tasty (a lemon tart thing) but everything else was bad, bad, bad.  And, to add insult to injury, we didn't get the free glass of champagne that was supposed to be included in the ticket price either!

So we stayed for about half an hour then left in disgust and headed off to find proper sustenance (and alcohol) at a riverside cafe instead.  By this stage it was about 1pm in the afternoon and roastingly hot and I discovered that poor-quality sugar and too much sun are not the ideal way to recover from a 7 mile run, so after a vague attempt to eat a burger, I excused myself for a bit of a lie-down before heading to the airport.

First stop was Washington, DC (again - I was only there last month) - this time for the Digestive Disease Week conference.  Its the premier gastroenterology conference of the year, so it was great to go and learn lots of stuff.  Best new phrase of the week: biliary sludge.  Even better was the chance to connect with colleagues and just hang out, getting to know people outside of the office.  Our group at work is now so small, I sometimes don't see many people during the day, so it felt really nice to be back as part of a bigger team.

Its THE statue from THE rolling boulder scene from
Raiders of the Lost Ark!

I didn't have much time to spare while I was there but I did manage to go for a 3 mile training run (DC is armpit drenchingly humid - it was like running in a tumble dryer again!) and, just before heading off to Boston, a quick hour's trip round the National Geographic Exhibition.  It was a pretty small exhibit but what it lacked in size it made up for in unexpected awesomeness as one of the exhibits featured none other than my childhood hero, Indiana Jones!!  It was a tie-up of props and clips from the film, alongside genuine artifacts and treasures and it made for a very fun hour reminiscing! (along with the original Star Wars films, the first three Indy films made up a huge part of my childhood - amazingly, its part of it that I can actually remember!).

Here are a few pics from my favorite parts of the exhibit - as I write this, I just plugged "Indiana Jones" into my Pandora station and am now listening to the Grimethorpe Colliery Band play the James Bond theme tune, so I'm having a lovely nostalgic time here...

The original sketch laying out the boulder dodging scene

OMG! I found it!  The lost Ark of the Covenant!

The Headpiece of the Staff of Rah

Costume from Temple of Doom  - as expected,
she was pretty tiny!

Scary stones from Temple of Doom - keep hold of your hearts!

I chose my exhibition.... wisely

Me and my new boyfriend.
He doesn't say much.  The perfect man....

So, all Indy'ed out, it was time to make like a rolling boulder and run for the airport for my short flight to Boston.  This was for another work meeting and again, it was a great opportunity meet with new people and make new friends.  We had a work dinner on the Weds night where I actually received a recognition award from the rest of the group which was completely unexpected and made me blush deeply!  I was very touched.

Another thing that made me blush deeply was the acute embarrassment of having forgotten to tell the management company of the new place I'm renting that I'd reactivated the alarm system in the property.  I'd remembered to tell my new cat-sitters (I have my priorities straight) but it had totally slipped my mind to tell the maintenance guy who was coming on Thursday to fix my front door bell.  Well, at least I now know the notification system works.  Because I was in work meetings, my phone was on silent so i didn't immediately see the phone calls and notifications that were flooding my phone with an alert that the front door had been opened.  Of course, as soon as I did, I deactivated the alarm system via the app on my phone (which is pretty snazzy) and phoned the management company to sheepishly apologize and to give them the code.  I'm not sure if the police actually turned up or not but at least its now been given a full-on test run.  Doh!

While in Boston, I also managed to fit in another training session - my schedule has me running 3 miles three times this week in advance of our Saturday morning group run of EIGHT miles!  (count'em!  EIGHT I TELL YOU!)  As a sign of my dedication to the cause, I'd brought all my running gear with me on this trip so had to check in a bag for a change (when you travel as much as I do, this is a big deal - frequent business travelers take a perverse pride in seeing just how many days they can be away on a trip with just an overnight sized bag - my personal record is 8 days - this is one of the reasons I always wear dresses to work!).  I was supposed to run on both Weds and Thurs, but messed up my alarm clock on Weds, so in the end I only ran on Thursday.  There was a lovely trail running right alongside the Charles River that makes for a very scenic outing - or at least would have if i'dve been able to find it!  It was only a block or so from the hotel, but I completely failed to find it instead ending up running round multiple building sites, which gave my workout a rather more exciting dynamic.

Anyway, so that was my week.  I got back late Friday evening and just enough time to say hi to the boys, climb into bed and sleep badly, before it was time for my longest ever run.  Each week now we are in new territories - i'm rationalizing it now by comparing it to the week before and telling myself "well, its only one more mile than i did last week, and I survived that OK".  So this week was 8 miles - again down by the lakefront.  Unlike last week, though, it was not as humid this time so that helped enormously.  It was only me and coach Bill this week (not sure where Katie and the other lady were) so absolutely no chance for slacking off during the run!!  Well, I'm amazed to say - it was actually OK!  I think it helped enormously that Bill chatted to me most of the way round, which kept my mind off the fact that my body was engaged in the heinous act of running and I am still quite amazed with the fact I can actually do this, given where I started from only 8 weeks ago.  Perhaps next week will be the killer (its NINE miles next week) and i'll get to 8.5miles and then just keel over.  (hopefully not, though - its almost Machu Picchu time, so an untimely death now would be really rather inconvenient.

So, to business.

As it stands, here's the deal.  Here are the list of forfeits that you evil-minded individuals have brewed up for the $3500 target.  What you now get to vote on is the method of selection.  I thought it was high time we brought back a couple of our favorites for decision-making: yes, you get to pick whether you want to place my fate into the hands of the Wheel of Fur-tune, The Kitchen Appliance Unholy Alliance or our old friend, the Potato of Destiny and Despair!   If you remember, the P of Double D is now enjoying life as an ex-pot on the sunny island of Cyprus with Loopy and the gang, occasionally being brought out of retirement to referee International Duck Days.  Loops - perhaps you can talk to the P of Double D and see if you can convince him to fulfill this one last civic duty?

(For those of you unfamiliar with these highly-scientific selection methods, here's a refresher:
Wheel of Fur-tune:http://sazzinthecity.blogspot.com/2012/09/the-wheel-of-fur-tune-has-spoken.html
Blender Action: http://sazzinthecity.blogspot.com/2012/09/a-kitchen-appliance-unholy-alliance.html
P of Double D: http://sazzinthecity.blogspot.com/2012/10/u.html (yes, I really did become a US citizen because of a forfeit picked out of a Mr Potato Head)

So, dearest blogwatchers, you get to choose which of the 3 selection methods will be used to pick one of the forfeits below.  You have til next Saturday (when I go on vacation for 2 weeks) to state your preference.  Assuming a safe return from Machu Picchu, i will then Get Right On It on my return.

• Learn how to waltz - and then post a film of myself dancing as proof I did it
• Do a tandem skydive
• Record a CD, filled with requests from my donors.  If you've donated, you get to pick a song for me to sing.
• Do the Korean girls cockroach challenge - but replace the cockroach with a Malteser

And FINALLY, "what's the forfeit if you hit $5000?" I hear you cry.  Well, to open up those purse strings again, it would have to be a biggie.  Daniel, lets just say I'm seriously considering your latest suggestion.....

Not so fast.....

Panic over.  At least for now.  The package that was delivered (to my old address, hence the delay in reporting back as I had to schlep over and go pick it up) was nothing more terrifying than Mumsie's electronic cigarette cartridge refills.  Obviously the bear swimsuit is still being hand-stitched and tie-dyed by organic artisan hippies out in the Pacific Northwest somewhere.   It did say to allow 3-4 weeks for it to be produced (I know, it IS hard to believe they didn't just have them in stock in a massive bearhouse somewhere) and then another couple of weeks for delivery, so I'm still living in hope it won't actually make it here to my new Chicago address.  We shall see.

In the meantime, its nice to see some of you have FINALLY got your creative juices flowing to come up with a suitable forfeit in case I (ever) hit my $3500 target.  As of writing today, I am still just over $200 short, so who knows?  Maybe I won't actually get there and these suggestions will all remain delightfully academic.  Though, somehow, I don't think Mumsie will allow me to get away with that....

Anyway, here are the current forfeit options for you, dearest blogwatcher, to choose from - assuming I hit my target.  You still have time to add your thoughts to this list below - as soon as I hit my target, then no more suggestions will be accepted and it'll be time to choose from the final list.  So, the current suggestions (all of which fill me with horror, though some more than others) are:

• Learn how to waltz - and then post a film of myself dancing as proof I did it
• Do a tandem skydive (obviously this one fills Mumsie with horror too)
• Record a CD, filled with requests from my donors.  If you've donated, you get to pick a song for me to sing.  I then try and have to figure out how/where to sing and record it and you, dear blogwatcher, will then get a copy of said CD.  I'm sure its going to turn into a complete shitshow of a CD so I would probably advise against actually ever listening to it and using it as a coaster instead.  Early suggestions from Mumsie and Daniel are "New York, New York" and "Daniel".  No prizes for guessing whose suggestion is whose.
• Do the Korean girls cockroach challenge - but replace the cockroach with a Malteser.  For those of you who haven't seen the video, go check it out on YouTube.  Its pretty grim.
• Learn how to trampoline (thanks, Dad) - not entirely sure how I'd go about this one and I'm sincerely hoping I won't have to find out! (not sure I'd be able to restrain myself from chopping up the trampoline a la childhood memories!)

So those are your options at the moment.  Additional suggestions welcome!  I will, of course, keep you posted as to how the fundraising continues to go - and when I finally hit/surpass my target.   As a side note (not that I'm competitive or anything, but...) because of everyone's generosity and/or sick minds in wanting to see me in a beary scary swimsuit, I'm actually the leading fundraiser in my company for the CCFA!!!  I'm about $800 ahead of the next person in terms of monies raised, so even more incentive to keep going!!

In other news, I'm now fully unpacked and almost settled in to my new place.  I've just got the last few pictures to hang (Kate - they are the ones you painted for me - always takes longer as I have to be a bit more careful to hang them up straight, rather than just bung them up like i do everything else!).  Tomorrow, I'm off to DC and Boston for the week for work but not before I've run SEVEN miles tomorrow morning followed by a decadent afternoon at Dessert Fest 2015, where I plan to stuff my face full of as many profiteroles and pies I can get my hands on.  All washed down with two large glasses of champagne - the perfect post-run recovery diet! 

And with that, time to toddle off to bed to get some rest before tomorrow's slog along the lakefront.  Wish me luck!!

Uh-oh......

I received an email alert today notifying me of an impending USPS delivery tomorrow.  I think we all know what that means, don't we?......

Seven scrunchies, five pens and $1.35*

Bloody hell.  What a whirlwind crazy few days its been.  Sorry it’s been a while since my last blog but, since my last post, I’ve moved house, unpacked my house, rebuilt a built-in wardrobe, been to a fabulous wedding in Miami (that still has me smiling), ridden in a Bentley, gotten sunburnt, peeled, had 2 swimming lessons, put in a new security system in the house, run SIX miles in one go in training on Saturday, been to IKEA, put up curtains, bought a fire pit from Lowes and had to figure out new cat-sitters, drycleaners and doctors (in priority order).  AND continued to edge ever closer to my $3500 target…. So it’s been a bit busy. 

First up, the move.

As you already know, I decided to eschew the leafy tranquility of life in the burbs and head back into the city.  The plan is to rent for a year first, check out the various neighborhoods, then sell my place in San Francisco to some entrepreneur tecchie millionaire and buy a multi-unit building here.  Live in the top one, rent out the bottom unit.  Or use it to store shoes.  I’ve not decided yet.  Anyway, I’ve now moved into my new place in Wicker Park in Chicago – and I think I’m going to be very happy there.  Its got a very comfy feeling to it so, though I’ve been in just over a week, its already starting to feel like home.  One of my criteria for how home-y a place feels is to imagine it at Christmas time – and bizarrely enough, I just bought a gently-used Christmas tree from a Brit I met through the Brits in Chicago Facebook page who is moving back to the UK, so is clearing stuff out before the move.  $50 for a John Lewis Xmas tree, complete with lights and absolutely no spiders or critters.  Mumsie, I finally listened….

The move itself was pretty painless – the moving crew were on time and didn’t break anything, so like my criteria for answering the question “Did you have a good flight?” (“yes - it didn’t crash”), it was a successful move.   The only thing that got broken was my new glass teapot that I dropped as I was unwrapping it – as expected, it just exploded into a thousand little shards all over the kitchen.  It was very sad.  Anyway, the movers arrived on Thursday at 9am to finish up the packing (I’d left them the kitchen to pack up cos I’m nice like that) and to load up the truck, then they were scheduled to arrive at 8am Friday morning for the delivery. 

I stayed out of the way while they did their thing.  Is it me or does it always feel a bit awkward when the movers are in?  You’re not sure whether to hang around in case they need you or to scarper and keep out of the way.  So I opted for the middle ground and, after popping out for brunch and to run a couple of errands, spent most of the time shut in one of the walk-in wardrobes with the cats, making sure they weren’t going completely bonkers.  Not sure what the movers made of it – I was probably reinforcing several cat lady stereotypes but whatever.  Dylan (or Horrorcow as I’ve now come to think of him) was the one going nuts trying to scratch at the door to escape (I’d already had to re-situate them from the laundry room as they managed to break out from there) whereas Izzie (aka Toothless) was far more sanguine.  Well, at least he was until it was time to drive into Chicago and drop them both off at the kitty spa, then he decides to freak out about halfway through the 30min drive, get all anxious and end up puking up in the cat carrier.  Mmm-MMM-mmmm – that certainly made for a wonderfully aromatic rest of trip.  Thanks, Izzie. 

 Its an interesting social dynamic where these total strangers are in your (soon-to-be-ex) house, in your drawers (oo-err) and handling your stuff.  I know it’s their job but I always feel ridiculously self-conscious about the amount of stuff I own and that they have to cart out to the truck so, invariably, at some point during the move, find myself apologizing for it.  (it’s the same when I go to a new hairdresser and find myself apologizing for the thickness and sheer amount of hair I have.  Crazy.  I guess you can take the girl out of the UK but you can’t (completely) take the Brit out of the girl).    Anyway, unlike last time where my British aversion to “causing a fuss” translated into heavy overtipping through guilt, this time I managed to reel it in, so tipped in a much more appropriate manner.  I guess after 12yrs of living in the US, I’m finally learning.

So, I’m in.  And, to prove it, I have lots of shiny new keys on my keyfob.  Two gold ones, two silver ones and two with the Chicago Bears logo on them.  I haven’t yet had time to mark them up with nail polish or a Sharpie, so its quite a production every time I need to open the front door, garage door or front gate as I work my way through every single one.  Why is it that it is ALWAYS the last one you try, irrespective of which one you choose to start with?  I think I’ve narrowed down the garage door key to being one of the silver ones, so that’s progress, I guess. 

It’s a similar production with figuring out the light switches.  I guess you go through this learning curve every time you move into a new place, but I think you just tend to forget (a bit like childbirth, I guess).  You click clack click all of them until you finally figure out which one turns on the light you are aiming for.  Then, despite your best efforts to commit the correct one to memory, you instantly forget which one did what the instant your finger leaves the switch.   Maybe its because they all look identical, your brain just gives up before it even starts, thinking “bugger this for a lark”.   I think its because there are obviously some light switches that are blatant decoys and seem to do absolutely nothing at all.  There are 4 light switches in the bathroom and I have not idea what all of them do yet.  Bizarrely, one of them is for a spot light in the ceiling which is a dim, dark-room style red.  I guess it’s for taking your romantic candle-lit bubble baths to the next level.  Seems a little kinky though.  It’s too tall to reach without the use of a ladder, so I guess its there to stay for now (damn). 

Then there are the things you only notice after you’ve moved in.  For, example, I only just noticed that my bathtub has jets in it (no, not those sorts of jets) so lots of foamy bathtime fun awaits!  (OK, maybe there’s a common theme starting to emerge here?).  Also, as I sit and write this in my new upstairs lounge (yes, I have a “downstairs” lounge now – oooohhh, fancy!), I’ve just noticed there is a double plug socket halfway up the wall.  Umm… why?  Actually, I’ve also now just noticed some rather inexpertly done patching near said sockets, so perhaps its for a TV?  Anyway, I’ve also just noticed (probably rather belatedly, I guess), that I’m no longer living in a curated, doormanned and staffed condo building and so have to think about such logistics as parcel delivery and home security.  Its actually the first time since I moved to the States that I don’t live in a doorman building and, while I am LOVING the extra space, I know the parcel thing is going to be a bit of a pain in the arse.  Fortunately I can get parcels delivered to the office (my replacement teapot should be winging its way to me as we speak), so I’m sure I’ll cope – but this is part of the year-long experiment to help me figure out what’s important to me vs what I’ll trade off.   I’ve figured out a dry-cleaning alternative (there’s a drop-off at the office for a local cleaner) and I’ll buy a few key pieces of workout equipment to get a home gym set up (I’m missing that and my training sessions already). 

So, that’s been all-consuming for the last 10 days or so – but I’m finally emerging out of the other end of it.  I’m in the Picture Hanging Stage, soon to be followed by the Patio Plant Selection Phase – both delightful markers that the pain and confusion of moving are coming to an end.  And, as soon as those two tasks are complete, I’ll take some piccies and post them up for you.  And yes – visitors welcome! (except for 3 weeks in August – those are already booked up! Yey!)

Anyway, FINALLY, before I turn in for the evening – an update on the fundraising and training for my half marathon.  Well, Daniel, I’m still in the safe zone for now as the total stands at….. DRUM ROLL, PLEASE…. $3,253.21!!  So, less than $250 to go before I hit my goal.  Donations have slowed a lot, as most people have already donated early but, if you haven’t yet donated, there’s still time!  Here’s the link to my donation website, so anything you can contribute, I would be very grateful.   http://online.ccfa.org/goto/Sholloway

I'm certainly putting in the miles to earn your money - this Saturday just gone, I did my longest run EVER with a total of SIX (count 'em!) miles!!  That's twice the distance I've ever run before!! (makes the 5K's seem like warm-ups!).   This sh*t's getting real!!  This Saturday coming, I have to run SEVEN miles!!!  Arrgghhh!!!!  Cue total, abject fear and panic!  The only thing that makes it worthwhile this time is that I then get to go and eat dessert and drink champagne with Chappers at DessertFest for 3 hours.   Bonza.

At the time of writing, the forfeit for my reaching the $3500 is still not yet decided.  As I am NOT doing the underwear in public dance forfeit so helpfully suggested by Daniel, I am still canvassing for other suggestions.  I know from the P of Double D experience from a couple of years ago that you evil-minded lot can come up with lots of creative ideas – I’ve also told Mumsie that, unless she (or anyone else) comes up with a better idea, then I’ll be throwing myself out of an airplane for a tandem sky-diving challenge.  She’d really rather I didn’t do that, so come on blogwatchers, get yer thinking caps on!

Right, that’s it for now – more to follow soon!!

* is what I found under my couch on moving day. I blame the boys.....