Rudolph? Is that you?
Ugh! After a great start to 2008, have been waylaid by an absolute stinker of a cold that arrived from nowhere and wiped me out within a day! Started sneezing on Thurs, was off sick from work wrapped under a duvet on my sofa on Friday, and coughing like a terminal TB patient by Saturday. Goes without saying that my nose looks like one of Santa's quadruped helpers but I think the copious amounts of Airborne, Sudafed, Vicks cough relief syrup and Chloraseptic spray seems to be dong the trick today, as i'm actually feeling much better and less like the living dead. My good friend Rachel came round yesterday on a mercy of mission with the aforementioned vitals plus chicken soup, so obviously a good healthy dose of Jewish penicillin has also done the trick! Just as well am feeling better as i'll actually have to leave the apartment today (havent been out for 2 days!) as i need to pop back to Sam's to de-fur his sofa (!) and remove any residual Dylan and Izzie traces before he gets back from his holiday today...

Hello 2008!!
First day back at work today after the Christmas holidays - it went sooo quickly! I'm looking forward to 2008 - 2007 was quite a challenging year for me, so i'm excited about whatever this year is going to bring! Have started as i mean to go on and am back working with Lacey twice a week and have also managed to get back on track with a healthy eating regime and have cut back on alcohol significantly, so hopefully 2008 will be the year i finally get back to my perfect weight! Bring it on!!

Final thoughts....
So now back in my apartment in Manhattan, finishing writing this, and reflecting on what was an absolutely amazing trip. It was an incredibly varied trip, with mountains, sea, steppe, glaciers and plains and wasn't always an easy one. Several times, i found the sheer physicality of some of the walks and climbs very challenging - both physically and mentally - but i made it and felt a real sense of achievement.

It was a privilege to be able to go away for 3 whole weeks - enough time to really leave the 9 to 5 behind and gain some fresh perspective and clarity. Not sure what i'll do with it, but I'm sure that will work itself out over time. The only question remaining now is ..... will i ever get the walking sock crinkles out of my legs??!!

The Sarah Clumsiness Index
So, dear reader, obviously if you made it through my blog of our Patagonian adventure, you'll have noticed that i have a tendency towards clumsiness. My prediliction for mishaps actually came as quite a surprise to me too, as i never realised i was quite so accident-prone! Anyway, just for Sam's amusement (so much for not laughing at the misfortune of others!), here's the Top Ten list of Patagonian mishaps and missteps:

10: Hitting my head on the overhead bin plus bashing my thigh on the seat armrest on the flight from Bariloche to El Calafate
9: Headbutting the lampshade in the Lizard Cafe in Puerto Madryn
8: Treading on Sam's feet whilst wearing crampons on Glaciar Torre
7: Pulling my leg muscle on the way to Glacier Grey
6: Falling over (and twisting my ankle) during the glacier walk on Glaciar Torre.
5: Walking into Sam's tripod at Punta Norte (even though i still blame Sam for this one!)
4: Twatting my head with my trekking poles as we dumped our stuff onto our bunks at Refugio Las Torres, right in front of the guy who was our host and had showed us to our rooms who then tried (not very successfully) not to wet himself laughing
3: Catching my foot on a branch lying on the ground, and going arse over tit whilst on my way for a last night time visit to the latrine at the Poincenot campsite; slammed into the ground and cut my knee, thus adding to the Triumvirate of Perfect Misery that i was due to suffer later during the Camping Night From Hell.
2: Almost knocking my teeth out with my trekking pole whilst trekking in Fitz Roy; it just got stuck in the step in front of me, which i didnt realise until my face slammed into it at full speed.
AND IN 1st PLACE: A full-on teeth rattling head twat on the ceiling of the catamaran across Lago Pehoe, minutes after having scornfully laughed at someone else who'd done exactly the same thing.

These, of course, were the edited highlights. Ones that didnt make the list include innumerable trippings over rocks, tree roots, branches, pebbles, my own feet, grains of sand, leaves, twigs, molecules of air and absolutely nothing at all. Also not included were the multiple finger burnings acquired during my active duty as camp chef plus injuries sustained during the descent of multiple bunkbeds of various heights. After the latest shin abrasion (resulting from a particularly evil bunkbed in El Calafate), i finally got smart and bagged the bottom bunk, leaving Sam to work out how to get down from the top, with no ladder, without sustaining personal injury.

The Sam Clumsiness Index
Feet slipped into river at Poicenot campsite whilst collecting water.

Strolling in Sunny San Telmo
Boo-hoo! Last day of holiday! Fortunately, was feeling much better this morning, so after a rather leisurely breakfast and check out (i love it - breakfast here in BA doesnt start til 9.30am - much more civilized than in El Calafate!), we headed out for a wander round San Telmo. Its like a cross between Soho and the East Village, i think - full of a gazillion little shops, most of them with enormous dusty chandeliers for sale, hanging in the windows. Sam managed to find the covered market, full of fascinating antique shops selling all manner of weird and wonderful old stuff - we found one stall which seemd to specialise in old telephones, of the type that had the proper round analogue dials and older, from when all calls used to have to be put through an exchange manually. We were both very very tempted as they were beautiful old pieces of engineering (apparently they were all in working order) but, in the end, the logistics of getting one back to New York won out, so we regretfully walked by. Went and had lunch in this fantastically dusty, atmospheric little cafe - Cafe G, right by a The walls were lined with cobwebby bottles and old coffee machines that looked as if they hadnt been touched for decades, and the wooden tables and floors also had this aged patina from years of use. After a "picata" lunch (mixed meats, cheese and bread) and coffee, we wandered around some more, enjoying the crisp sunshine, before reluctantly heading back to our hostel to collect our bags and catching a taxi to the airport.

Sam and I were on same TAM flight to Sao Paulo, before parting company - me on Delta and him on American, for the final leg back to NYC. From the window of the plane, coming in to land, the vastness of the sprawl of Sao Paulo was absolutely staggering - it looked chaotic even from 10,000 ft up!! It was equally chaotic in the airport too - long queues off the plane, through security before we were allowed to go and queue for our onward flight. Sam had bit of a scare cos he didnt get his boarding pass until moments before the flight was due to leave (not sure why) but he made it on board, as did I, for the long flight back to Manhattan and reality....

Phase 4: Complete. Phase 4b:i initiated!
Really sad our Patagonian adventure is drawing to a close but also profoundly grateful to have experienced such a fantastic place and to have seen so many awe-inspiring landscapes and natural beauty. Packed up and left P.Piramides mid-morning and drove back to Puerto Madryn where we stopped for lunch and banana milkshake at the Lizard cafe and had a wander round the shops and along the seafront. Then back in the car for the final leg of the journey back to Trelew airport (via some very straight roads!) where we returned to car to the lady from Budget (who probably wondered if we'd just directly shovelled several sacks of sand straight into it), checked in for our flight (which was on time) and then simply waited, rather despondently, for our flight back to the noise and bustle of Buenos Aires. I think both of us were in a fairly reflective kind of mood - the sheer expanse of nothingness and desolation of the Patagonian steppe allows your mind the freedom to wander and explore, unsnagged by distraction. I think both of us were wondering how jarring we would find it to be back in amongst all the commotion and the throngs of people.

Flight was uneventful and made it to Buenos Aires in plenty of time for Sam to retrieve his back from the Marriott before heading over to the hostel del Granados. Was a great place - right in the centre of San Telmo, where we had our own room (with a balcony) for only 90 pesos! Bargain! After we checked in, Sam took me to Cafe Tortoni, a very famous coffee house and tango place in BA - was fabulous, except unfortunately i wasn't feeling great (extremely bad back and stomach ache) which was a real shame. But am very glad i went - another one to cross off the 1000 Places list!! Despite being in the middle of Party Central in BA, we headed back to the hostel after Cafe Tortoni and had a quick supper in a place just down from the hostel before calling it a night and going to bed. Glad both of us had earplugs as the party carried on, outside our window, well into the morning!!

Fawlty towers, Patagonian style
Got up to discover there was no water in the motel, so Scottish showers for both of us this morning. Went and had breakfast in the roastingly hot glass conservatory dining room which, although very picturesque and looked out straight onto the beach, was absolutely baking and probably ensured both Sam and I smelled even riper than before! Was served breakfast of 3 tiny croissants by this old chap for who it seemed the highlight of his day was pouring the coffee into your cup, followed by the hot milk, French-brasserie stylie. He resisted all directions from Sam for just a touch of milk, as he was not to be denied his cofffee-milk mixing excitement. The other unique feature of the motel were the loos - absolute quality as, when you sat down, the door touched your knees and your feet poked out of the bottom of the door!!

After yesterday's storm, the weather was better than anticipated so we decided to go for it and take a whale-watching tour in the morning, whilst we could and before the weather got any worse. Was a very prescient decision as we ended up being on one of the very last tours to go out that day, and probably the one after too, due to the high winds and unmanageable seas. When the wind gets too high, they actually close the port down - we did feel quite sorry later on in the day for all the other visitors who arrived too late, and could do nothing but sit in their cars or buses, gloomily starily out of the window at the sea in disappointment.

Its Flipper and friends!
So, went out around 10am for our hour long excursion and, within 10mins of being on the water, one of the guides pointed excitedly alongside the boat - looked out over the side to see that we were being escorted by a dusky dolphin! Was my first time ever seeing a dolphin in the wild and i hadnt expected too, so i was absolutely delighted! Dolphin was joined by a few more, so at one point we had about 4 or 5 of them leaping and diving all around the boat! Absolute buggers to take pictures of, though - only managed to take one vaguely non-blurry shot! Boat was also bouncing up and down on the waves, big time, so it was a real challenge to get everything in sync, whilst not crushing your camera against the side of the boat and trying to keep it dry!!
After about another 10mins, we spotted the whale - a Southern Right whale mother and calf with an impressive load of barnacles on her snout! Got fairly close and again, it was a fantastic experience, although i already felt a seasoned whale watcher after our experience in Cape Cod earlier this year. Got one reasonable tail shot and then it was time to chug back into shore (clambered up into the crows nest lookout for some of the ride back - very wobbly indeed!), where we got towed out of the water by this rather nifty tractor. By this time the weather had really deteriorated and all the whale watching companies were packing up shop, so we were extremely lucky!

Flying Gloves and Tripods at Caleta Valdes
Before heading out for the afternoon's explorations, we checked in at Posado Piramides for the night (our room had about 15 beds, a kitchen and bathroom in it!), got Milanese sandwiches to go from Quimey (who had been inundated with a million schoolkids!), filled up the car with petrol, stocked up on anti-Sleepiness Coke and crisps and headed out of town. Sam initially directed me up this road which seemed to be almost entirely made out of sand, which made using the steering wheel a rather academic exercise before we rejoined the glorious ripio road system. We were heading first for Caleta Valdes, 45km south of Punta Norte in the middle of the eastern shore and which was reported to have huge colonies of elephant seals, which could be seen at close quarters. We were certainly hoping to be able to get a bit closer than the birds-eye view from the clifftops at Punta Delgada yesterday! When we got there, it was still very windy and high up on the cliffs, but we were able to see much better all the seals plus a number of Magellenic penguins, some very close indeed! Glad we had our tripods as the wind would have made it completely impossible to take good pics without, although I almost lost mine over the side of the cliff at one stage, as a particularly savage gust of wind sent it careening towards the edge!! Really did almost lose my hat and one glove, though, as we were packing to leave and the wind just whipped them out of the boot and sailing across the reserve. Fortunately they got snagged in a bush, giving Sam enough time to sprint across the penguin sanctuary, dive through the fence and retrieve them before they were lost for good! We were a lot more careful when opening the car doors and boot after that!! Also, saw this ENORMOUS Dutch mega-truck in the carpark - i thought it looked like a huge windowless fridge on wheels. Probably wouldnt have any issues with the ripio roads in that as the wheels were at least 6ft high! Wonder if i can get one from Budget?

Punta Norte and finally a sunset!
So, back in the car for our final drive to Punta Norte, which is at the northern end of the peninsula, about 97km from the park entrance. Not visited quite as often by the big tour companies, it also was said to have colonies of sea lions and Magellenic penguins plus also sightings of orcas, who come here to feed on the sea lion pups at high tide. We timed our day to arrive at around 5pm, high tide (we thought) and - although we did see what looked like a whale a couple hundred metres out from shore, we weren't lucky enough to see any orcas. It would have been an incredible sight, but i dont think it happens very frequently, so we couldnt be too disappointed really. We thawed out at the little P.Norte cafe with a nice cup of tea first before heading back home to P.Piramides. After 3 weeks of absolutely bugger all, we were FINALLY rewarded with a half decent sunset, so we stopped and took lots of pics on the way home. By this stage the wind was really blowing, so we were driving through a dust storm for most of the time - God knows how long its going to take to get the dust and sand out of everything!!! After some great sunset and guanaco pics, finally got back to town around 8.30pm - to find we had no electricity!! Started the day with no water, ended it with no power!! But in true hiker fashion, we simply stuck our headlamps on (set to "flashing mode" for maximum visibility and personal amusement) and headed out to La Estacion for supper instead. Was a great little place that was absolute stuffed full of people, so this nice Brit couple let us share their table. Food was fantastic - i had lemon sole in a lemon sauce whilst Sam had cod, with fries and salad, and washed down with a very nice Chablis! Went back to the hostel via the ATM - lights (and heating!) were still out so just dove quickly into bed to warm up - Sam didnt appreciate my attempts to use him as a hand-warmer!

Phase 4: Off on our Peninsula Valdes Adventure!
Slept pretty well - better than Sam who got bashed on the feet with a pair of shoes by the guy in the bunk opposite who was trying to stop him snoring! Obviously doesnt know the cardinal rule of hostel survival - always travel with earplugs.

So up early and left P.Madryn by 10am for the drive to Peninsula Valdes. We'd changed our itinerary and decided to stay in P.Valdes for the next couple of days, rather than original plan of staying in P.Madryn - good plan, as it happened, because the distances were longer than both of us anticipated!! Took about an hour and a half to get to P.Valdes and were lucky enough to get a room at Motel ACA. So dumped bags and went to get lunch down by the beach - Sam won the lunchtime challenge with an absolutely heroic Milanese sandwich!

Tyring to spot the sealions at Punta Delgado..
Then set off for Punta Delgada and more ripio road excitement. Took a couple of hours - had Turkey Vulture equivalent of Condor Alley, so of course multiple stops for photo-ops. Finally arrived at P.Delgado - and, to be honest, it was a bit of a disappointment. Were really high on the clifftops, looking down at the elephant seal and sea lion colony below, so were so far away it was almost impossible to take any really good pics. Added to the distance, it was incredibly windy (even more so than usual!) so we only stayed for about half an hour. Tried to have a nice cup of tea at Faro Punto Delgado but it was closed, so had to content ourselves with exploding alfajores instead.

Drove back to P.Piramides and chilled out in our lovely green motel room for a bit until this massive thunderstorm with lots of rain, lightening and scary clouds swept through town. So obviously we took this as our cue to fly around town with our tripods, taking HDRs of the glowering sky!! I think the locals (the few there were around in this most ghostlike of towns!) must have thought we were absolutely insane!! Finished off the day with an enormous pizza at La Posta, before waddling back to the motel to bed.

Penguin frenzy!!
Up bright and early to go back to Trelew airport and collect the car. On road heading towards Punto Tombo by 8.45am, so great start to the day! Had about an hour on normal roads, before my first real taste of "ripio" road driving - very basic gravel roads which provide an ..err.. interesting driving experience. More surfing at times, than driving, i think!! Another rather curious side-effect of ripio road driving is its ability to induce an almost instant somnolence in both driver and passenger. Dubbed the Sleepiness Index, it tended to kick in about 5km after setting off, and build to an almost irresistable eye-closing crescendo within minutes. The only known cure we discovered was leaping out of the car at regular intervals for wildlife photo-ops! ("Gaunacos!!")

After about another hour of such excitement, we finally arrived at P.Tombo - the largest colony of breeding Magellanic penguins in the world. It was absolutely amazing - there were penguins absolutely everywhere! There were no fences, only a trail which you were asked to keep to - and you quite literally were stumbling over penguins everywhere! Close?!! Wow. Sam almost got his head bitten off when he was lying down taking pics of this penguin - literally inches away from his face and camera! The highlight of the day (and i think a highlight, full stop) was being lucky enough to see a penguin actually hatch and emerge (very large pink foot first) from its shell, carefully tended by its penguin mum. It was just incredible and was a real privilege to be there and to watch.

Oh boyo! Tea and history in Gaiman
Spent about 3hrs there, taking pics and just enjoying how close we were able to get to these incredible animals, before it was time to head off and drive to Puerto Madryn where we were staying the night. Again, more high SI-driving on the ripio roads, before heading towards Gaiman, where we visited an authentic Welsh tea-shop (Ty Nain) for tea and cakes. Is the oldest surviving building in Gaimain, built in 1870 and still run by the descendants of the original pioneers. Was yummy - 6 or 7 different types of cake (including a very tasty lemon tart!) with bread and cheese plus 2 massive pots of tea! We rolled back in the car, very very full for the final leg to P.Madryn (did not help with the Sleepiness Index!). Were staying in Hostel Gaulicho - very cool place, good value and with free wireless internet. After checking in (unbelievably, in room 8 again!! For about the 5th time in a row!!) , went out for supper along the seafront (was getting flashbacks to Margate!) at a restaurant called Cacceros. After a little help deciphering the menu, Sam had the local specialty of Arroz con Marisco (an Argentinian version of paella) and i had some rather tasty black cod (yes - not steak!) before heading back to the hostel for a spot of photo-uploading, blogging and into our respective bunkbeds! I snagged the bottom one this time as i'd incurred a bunkbed descent injury on our last hostel visit - well, you try getting out of a top bunk with no ladder, first thing in the morning, without skinning your shins!!

Transfer to Trelew
Wow. Cant believe we´re into our final week already! Is going so quickly! Was first person up from our 6-person dorm this morning, so went and got breakfast at 8am. We fly to Trelew today for the last bit of our trip - am really looking forward to seeing all the wildlife, especially the penguins! Already have the Happy Feet CD all ready to play in the car for the drive there! Also is one of the best places in the world to watch the whales too, so that should also be amazing!
So today just pottered about (bit of a holiday admin day!) - got laundry done in town, did a bit of souvenir shopping and updated my blog whilst waiting for Sam to come join me in town. i left him back at the hostel uploading the latest set of pictures from our trip - they look fantastic (click here: http://www.samchadwickphoto.com/expedition-patagonia.html).

After another steak and fries lunch, headed back to the hostel for a while before our taxi back to the airport. The flight to Trelew was a couple of hours delayed but it was very smooth once we finally got on board. We landed around half 11 and made it into Trelew to check in at Hotel Galicia just after midnight. Ran round and had a quick nightcap at the Touring Club hotel bar (according to all the guide books, was a must see) before calling it a night and crashing into bed, ready for Penguintasia tomorrow!!! whoo-hoo!!!

Upsala Glacier cruise
Another early start at half 6 to be ready for our pick-up at 7.15am to go on our glacier cruise. Our transfer picked us up and a few more folk before going on to Puerto Banderas via Condor Alley! Took about 40mins and had to pay a National Park fee of 30 pesos to enter the park. Then on to the Catamaran Quo Vadis - pretty big boat with 3 decks, the top one being open for viewing. Wather was v. windy and was also raining a fair amount when we set off, but it started to brighten up as we got further way from port, sailing along Lago Argentino. Our route first took us up Brazo Norte and into Brazo Upsala where we saw our first icebergs. They were absolutely amazing - simply beautiful and with so many shades of prussian blue. The catamaran got surprisingly close (set you wondering about the 80% of the iceberg thats hidden under water ' its like ¨watch out!¨). After gazing in awe at these incredible ice sculptures for a while, we carried on to Lago Onelli where we had to disembark and walk 20mins through the forest to see the lake and our first glacier, Gl. Onelli. After all the walking we'd done over the last 2 weeks, 20mins was nothing!! Hardly worth lacing your boots up for!! The lake was very bleak, windy and with some very big chunks of ice floating around in it! Hardly conducive to you wanting to take a dip! We left the maddening crowds behind for a bit and wandered round the other side of the lake as far as we were allowed to go. We then found a spot relatively sheltered from the wind and hunkered down for lunch. The empanadas I'd bought in my grocery dash yesterday were much appreciated! Also had some bread and an "interesting" mix of various meats, cheese chunks and pickled onions! Mmm....

After lunch, was time to hop back on board the boat to see 2 more glaciers - Glacier Upsala and Glacier Spegazzini. Gl. Upsala is supposedly bigger in square footage than all of BA, even though both glaciers have retreated dramatically over the last decade. On the way to one of the glaciers, we saw a condor launch itself off the side of the mountain - hopefully Sam got some good pictures as i completely messed it up! We got back to P.Banderas around 5pm, so it was a long and tiring day, but also very enjoyable. Came back along Condor Alley and so Condor Watch resumed, although many condor candidates eliminated due to a too high flappiness index. Slowly dawned on us that the best condor shots we'd got all trip were the ones in Bariloche where we thought they were vultures!

Got dropped off in town where we bought some food for supper - steak (what else?!) and potatoes and veg. Really getting to know the supermarket very well! Then back to hostel (10min walk out from centre of town) where Sam and I sprawled across the whole table and set up the computer and various charging devices! In total, Sam has already taken over 2000 pics (and i've taken nearly as many!) so there's just a little bit of photo editing to be done! Also finally started to update my blog, now that we're back in the land of the internet! The hostel was showing The Shining on DVD so i sat up late and watched that and finally went to bed around 1am. Probably woke everyone up when i went to bed, but its impossible not to make any noise at all!! Good night!!

Not a happy bunny this morning...


Survived one of THE most miserable nights of my life. In addition to the pain in my knee caused by last nights tumble on the way to the stinking latrine, Sam decided last night that he'd practice snoring for England yet again, so it was like having a sodding jackhammer pounding away next to my head. Add to that the fact that it was UNBELIEVABLY cold, despite my sleeping bag's claims to go down to -7C and my wearing absolutely every item of clothing i'd brought with me. The camping mats we'd hired were utterly shite and provided absolutely NO insulation against the cold seeping up through the ground, so I actually became increasingly concerned through the night that hypothermia could be a real issue. Sam was utterly useless as - every time I went to snuggle for warmth - he'd move away to protect his knee which was killing him. Cant blame him but didnt particularly love him for it either. The cold was so intense, my earplugs didnt work because they didnt get warm enough to soften up in the ear and block out the sound, so Sam's snoring was unmitigated in its loudness. AND to add final insult to injury, because I obviously couldnt sleep a wink because of all of the above, after about an hour of misery, my bladder decided to join the party and tell me that it would like to be emptied, thanks very much. Just brilliant. Of course, there was no sodding way in hell i was getting up and going outside into the freezing cold night and losing whatever tiny bit of heat i'd managed to generate in my sleeping bag. So, i just lay there - all frigging night, knee hurting, desperate for a pee, colder than i ever remember having been in my life before and listening to my delightful BF snoring his sodding head off. I was not a happy bunny. Come the first inkling of daylight, i was up and out of that miserable tent and thinking extremely murderous thoughts towards Sam. I was soooo mad with him, I could barely look at him for at least an hour.







After deciding that the only real reason not to murder Sam slowly and painfully using blunt camping cutlery was the effort involved in having to dispose of the body, we set off on the sodding walk we'd come out to this godforsaken place to do anyway. After absolutely BUGGER ALL sleep, I did remarkably well in terms of the ascent of the mountain itself and we kept a good pace up. Got to the top and - unlike TdP - unfortunately the top of Mt Fitzroy was still shrouded in cloud. So the views were good and still mightily impressive, but not as completely stunning as we'd hoped for.

So then time to scamper back down the mountain, break camp and walk back into town for our last night at the hostel . When we got back, i rewarded myself with the largest mug of hot chocolate possible and an early night.

Trekking, camping and interesting food in Fitzroy
Felt rather tired after our marathon hike yesterday - fortunately only had to get up in time to check out at 10am, so had luxury of staying in bed til 8am!! We decided to change our itinerary and go back to El Calafate a day early, with the hope of seeing the Upsala Glacier, so we then spent a very non-productive hour or so in the local internet shop/travel agent trying to find a hostel for the extra night, plus also attempting to book our Glacier cruise in advance. The chap in there was very slow and inefficient, so eventually we gave up and went back to Condor de Los Andes, where Noelia was much more helpful and started calling round to find us a place. Whilst she did that, we went off to the local chocolateria for a well-earned mocha and alfador. It was soooo good - i wanted to bring the whole place back with me to New York!
So by time got back to hostel, everything was all sorted out for hostel, except no-one would take an advance reservation for the glacier cruise (a tad crazy) so still no guarantee we were going to be able to do that. We´ll see when we get to El Calafate. Then off to camping rental shop to hire our tent and sleeping mat (plus trekking poles for me) and finally set off around 2pm after much faffing about!!
Unfortunately weather was much crappier than day before (realised just how lucky we´d been on our ice trek!) - colder and windier with a bit of rain (and snow later!) thrown in for good measure. We took it really easy for the 2.5hr hike up to Camp Poincenot - Sam´s knees were still buggered plus the general exhaustion from the day before meant we were both a bit low on energy. The route wasnt too bad, although it was a steady uphill climb for the first hour, although the path was relatively flat and even, which made it much more manageable. Needless to say, i stil managed to trip and stub my toes on average once every 7 mins. Think must be getting fitter cos even though backpack was heavier with all our stuff in, felt a lot easier to carry. Either that or my body has moulded to the shape of my backpack!
Saw a very cool, ENORMOUS Magellanic woodpecker on way up, as we walked through the woods. Was really going for it and making a complete racket - the poor tree didnt stand a chance and chunks of bark were flying everywhere!
Took us an hour to get to the first marked scenic lookout at Mirador Laguna Capri, then another 1.5hrs to get to the campsite. It was situated in a grove of trees, on a bluff just up from the river which offered some degree of shelter from the biting Patagonian wind. We quickly set up camp (2man tent with a porch!) and rigged up a rathy nifty Camelbak irrigation system in the nearest tree. Saw a couple of enormous eagle-type birds who were making a very tidy living scavenging off scraps of food they´d picked out of peoples´ rubbish bags. Alas Mount Fitzroy was STILL in cloud, so we crossed our fingers and hoped it would clear up before our trek in the morning.

Supper-time and, i think, our most...err... interesting flavour combo yet. Not sure what we were thinking when we picked up bolognese sauce for our spaghetti plus then a couple of tins of tuna. Mixing it all together it completely looked like cat food - as my Spanish is non-existent, i may well have been in the petfood aisle without realising it, but there weren´t any pictures of cats on the tins of tuna, so i think we were probably OK. At least it was hot, though - by this stage it was starting to get rather cold, so Sam did the washing up, we tidied our stuff away and got ready to retire into the tents for the evening. Our washroom facilities at the campsite consisted solely of an absolutely MINGING latrine - i guess all part of the experience, but it was so grim that if i´dve dropped my passport in there, i would rather go queue for days at the embssy to get a replacement than try and retrieve it! Continuing my clumsy theme, I´d actually tripped over a piece of wood (in beautiful slow-motion!) on the way to the latrine and landed full force onto my right knee, grazing it badly. Well done, me. I think i´d probably trip over a grain of sand on a beach.
Managed to make it back to tent without further incident, did a couple of crosswords then hunkered down in sleeping bag to go to sleep.

Ice, Ice Baby… the magnificent 30km roundtrip to Glacier Torre
Condor de los Andes is a great hostel – rooms v plain and simple, but beds comfy & plenty of hot water for showers! Noelia had been very helpful and booked our Ice Trek for us, so it was another early start (are you sure we’re on holiday?!) and up at 6am. Breakfast had been laid out for us downstairs, so after tea and bread and jam, we made our way to Casa de Guias where we were to meet our guide for the day. Our guide was this wiry chap called Andreas who seemed to have the smallest bottom I’d ever seen. How on earth his arse was big enough to adequately connect his legs with his body, it’s a mystery of physiology. Anyway, after signing all the relevant disclaimers promising not to sue if we fell off the glaciers and died, we were given crampons, a harness and lunch. Met up with the rest of our group, 3 guys – 2 Polish tax accountants Thom and Jan, plus an American guy called Darren. They were all great fun so it was a lively group!

We all set off from the Casa at about half seven – didn’t really know what to expect, only that it was a long day and we’d be back around 7pm (should have given us a clue really!) Basically the day’s itinerary was to walk out of El Chalten, along the route to Laguna Torre, via the Mirador Laguna Torres, then along the river bed for a while before reaching the point where we had to cross the river (this took about 3hrs). From here, it wasn’t possible to go any further unless you were either a professional climber or you were with a guide on an organized trek. Here we were instructed to put our harnesses on (wedgy alert!) and Andreas showed us how the river crossing via rope bridge was done. Basically, clip yourself and your harness onto the rope, ease out from the side letting the harness take your weight, and then pull yourself along with your hands, making sure you keep them behind your head, so as not to mash them in the pulley as you go. Obviously Andreas with The Tiny Arse made it look incredibly easy (I think he’d done it once or twice before) and, at first, it didn’t seem so bad – until you got to the saggy middle bit where your arms starting burning and you started wondering how much further it was to have to haul yourself to the other side! An equally prominent thought was in wishing you’d lost that extra 10lbs before coming on holiday! I was the 2nd to go and I made it OK –I don’t think I’d win any prizes for the most elegant rope-crossing style but I only managed to jam the pulley with my gloves twice and didnt lose any fingers, so all in all, it was a successful first for me!

Anyway, took about 10mins for everyone to cross – from here, we were basically at Laguna Torres and it was time to get serious in our approach to the glacier for the main business of ice-trekking. What this entailed was an absolute lung-buster of a climb up over the side of the mountain for about an hour, before an equally precarious and lengthy scramble down the glacial scree on the other side. Got to the bottom and our legs were burning and knees felt like jelly, but we’d made it and were at the leading (ablative) edge of the glacier. Here we were instructed to put our crampons on (yet another personal first) and instructed how to walk in them. If you ever happen to find yourself in an unexpected crampon-wearing situation, here’s all you need to know to look like a pro:

5 Golden Rules for a Successful Crampon Experience:
Rule 1: Keep your feet about shoulder-width apart at all times. This stops you from puncturing your own feet with 2in long metal spikes. Unfortunately, this golden rule doesn’t stop you from being a clumsy arse and inadvertently treading on your boyfriend’s feet when going in for a quick kiss. Not recommended for fostering happy and long-lasting relationships.
Rule 2: Don’t forget you’re wearing crampons (see Rule 1)
Rule 3: Don’t run, jump or attempt to hurdle in crampons. Stumbling and twisting ones' ankle when crossing a rather deep crevasse is also generally considered a fairly bad idea.
Rule 4: Keep all 10 spikes in the ice at all times – even if it means having to bend your ankles somewhat when walking uphill sideways (see Rule 3).
Rule 5: When going downhill, keep your feet facing forwards, bend at the knees a little and head straight down. Trust in your spikes and pray that your ankles hold up.

Time to hit the wall - of ice!
Now we were all black-belt crampon experts, it was time to head out further onto the glacier – we were walking on the bit that’s known as the ablation zone (where it all the chunks fall off) vs the accumulation zone where it forms (it all made me want to go and buy a geography text book to go read up on glaciers!). We were just hoping that the little bit we were clumping around on was relatively stable and not going to collapse on us! After about an hour of exploring, marveling and crapping ourselves at the deep Prussian-blue cracks, crevasses and potholes in equal measure, it was time to stop for lunch. Andreas found us a safe spot where we hunkered down and destroyed our empanadas in record time (Jan earning the nickname of Empanada Monster) whilst he disappeared off for a while at the top of this steep wall of ice. Hmm. After about 20mins, it became clear this was where we were all going to have a go at ice-wall climbing. Wussing-out was not an option and, again, Andreas showed us first how it was done. Easy!! Stick your ice-axes in, your front spikes, keep your bum in and off you go. Yeah, right. Again, I was the second to go – fortunately, we were all clipped into safety ropes and had a bright orange helmet on (Darren looked like a matchstick) so we weren’t in any real danger but even still, I was somewhat nervous. After getting off to a cracking start where I had the thought “Wow – I’m a natural at this ice-climbing malarkey – result!”, it all went a bit pear-shaped for me about halfway up where I started getting tired and finding a suitable foothold for my spikes seemed to get harder and harder. My arse was also being extremely disobedient and sticking out lots, throwing off my centre of gravity, but after much effort and even more swearing, I made it to the top!! Whoo-hooo!!! Getting down was a piece of cake – simply leant back into the harness and abseiled down as Andreas controlled the rope. Sam went after me – he had a shakier start than me but then got into it, except his shoes were rather bendy, so he had trouble with his footspikes and consequently hauled himself up primarily with his hands!! But he also made it to the top and safely got back down again, so well done to the both of us!!

The long, long walk home
After we’d all had a go, we were all pretty knackered so just wandered round the ice a bit more before the absolute bitch of a climb back up the hill from hell. I swear it doubled in length whilst we were on the ice. Then the equally tortuous descent – in some places it was so steep, there were ropes along the side of the “path” to cling to, to stop you falling off the sides of the mountain (I was very glad i'd be telling my Mum about this particular bit of the trip after I'd got safely home!) After about 2hrs and an infinity of this, we eventually got down to the bottom and walked back to the rope bridge for our crossing back over the river. My body mass seemed to have tripled since the morning (I blame those empanadas) as the arms gave out about halfway across and I hauled myself rather pathetically across the river, Sam being the diamond BF and giving me a hand to drag me in on the other side! Fortunately we could all then take off our harnesses (no more comments from the boys about budgie-smuggling) and then start the long, long walk back to El Chalten. I think I must have been sleepwalking in the morning, cos the hike back seemed to take absolutely bloody ages. I think Andreas was eager to get back to town cos we walked at a fairly brisk pace for about 4hrs, with only a couple of very brief stops to take a breather and a drink (plus an insect for Sam). I lost the will to live several times along the way back - the only way I could make it was to keep lying to myself by saying “just another half hour, just another half hour”. But after a staggering 30kms round-trip and 11hrs, we finally made it back into El Chalten, just after 6.30pm. We dropped the kit back off at the Casa and all staggered to the nearest beerhouse, which was conveniently located next door. There the boys demolished several large pints of microbrew whilst I did my bit for Queen and country with some well-deserved Malbec. After a couple of hours, we said our goodbyes, headed back to the hostel for supper before collapsing into bed utterly, utterly exhausted but feeling very pleased (if somewhat incredulous!) with ourselves! A very challenging day, but extremely satisfying and a great accomplishment!