Wednesday, June 25, 2014

High jinks at the Highland Games!

On Sunday past, it is no jest
It was, indeed, the best Scots Fest
Ooch aye the noo, through hail and rain. 
When shall we three meet again?

Hmm.  Right.  OK - I don't think I'll give up the day job any time soon and make a new career for myself as a poet but, despite the crappy verse, Mumsie and I had an absolutely kick-ass time at the Chicago Scots Highland Games last weekend!   I'd just flown in from Zurich the day before, perfectly timed to allow us to attend this celebration of Scottishness, this carnival of Celts!  I remember (albeit a bit hazily) the absolutely amazing time I had on the Queen Mary a year or so ago, when I happened to stumble (figuratively - and later on, literally) across a Scots Band Piping contest during the weekend I'd happened to choose to stay there.   The sheer breathless excitement - and physicality - of listening to all those amazing pipes and drums in close quarters has stayed with me so when I saw this listing in my "What To Do With A Mumsie In Chicago" magazine, I knew we just HAD to go.

Down, boy.  Me showing the furry
 cow who's the boss
The festival was being held over 2 days in a town about an hour's drive from Evanston, a place called Itasca.  (I always want to pronounce it as Ithaca in my mind - dunno why, its just the way it is).  Anyway, given I was likely to be a bit jet lagged, I'd also booked us into the Westin at Itasca for the evening, so I wouldn't have to drive back that evening.  I'd gotten the room free with Westin Points (one of the perks of traveling so much for work) so that was good and - as the day unfolded - it turned out to be a very prescient decision!!!  If you want to check out the full schedule of events (or are planning a trip this way next year..), here's the link to the Chicago Scots website: http://www.chicagoscots.org/highlandgames/ 

Because I happen to be a sucker, I am also now a proud member of said esteemed society, on account of deciding to be "nice" and give the 2 young people flogging memberships at the entrance gate a good start to their day by signing up (bloody hell, that makes me sound old).  It was only $25 to join and it did entitle me to a free scone later on, so I think it was well worth it.  Plus its also handy for future blogging opportunities too (hellooooooo Burns Night!) so I did it for you guys…. The fact that chaps in kilts can be quite sexy had nothing to do with it.  Nope.  No sirreee.  Nothing whatsoever.   (though, to be fair, by the end of the day we had seen quite the..umm.. spectrum in the Kilt Cuteness stakes)
I'm ready for my close-up...

Anyhoo, we were attending the festival on the second day, when such crowd pleasers as the knobbly knees contest, the haggis eating competition and the haggis hurling competition were being held.  All promised giddy heights of excitement and tension, so we were very much looking forward to everything.  The program of events was actually pretty full with at least 2 or 3 things happening at the same time - at times, it felt like I was at some kind of Scottish conference, as we juggled our agenda and itinerary "Well,.. its 2pm, so we have the intermediate Highland Dancing on the North Stage or the 30lb Sheaf Toss on the Heavy Athletic field - but then Rugby Sevens tournament starts at 2.15pm and the second qualifying round of the Pipe Bands starts at 2.30pm!  What shall we do???"  

Well, we started off, like all good adventures do, at the obvious, prime place.  

The Food Court.  

Oh my. 

What a gloriously Scottish food court it was.  Chock full of trucks selling all manner of superbly unhealthy and tasty items - not a salad item or low-fat treat in sight.  Instead we had our choice of vendors of pies, pasties, haggis, pies, fish and chips, cakes, shepherd's pie, proper bangers and bacon butties, more cakery-bakery, fruit scones, pies and more chips.  It was bloody marvelous.  We started off splitting a portion of haggis and chips (laden with enough salt to start a new spice route to Tibet) which was DELISH (as long as you don't think about it too much) and then chowing down on the Full Monty - a sandwich with REAL british bangers and bacon from this chap who has a British food store in Chicago!  HUZZAH!!!  Finally!  My pukka replacement for Tea and Sympathy in the West Village!!  Now I can get my salad cream and choccy at World Market, and my sausages and cottage pie at Spencer's Jolly Posh store.  http://www.jollyposh.com  *happy sigh* 

It promised to be a thrilling afternoon
After our initial thirst for fried goods and fat were slaked, we headed over to the Heavy Athletic field where the first event of the day was the tossing of the Clachnert - basically how far you can throw a 16lb river stone.  There were about 10 male competitors who, as it turned out, competed in all the events of a similar throw-ey type nature.  While it was obviously terribly impressive from an athletic "crikey, thats quite heavy and you can chuck it quite far" perspective, as a spectator sport, it didn't quite kick in, really, in terms of dramatic tension.  I discovered my threshold for watching hairy men throw a big rock in a muddy field was about eleven minutes.  It was, indeed, an amazing journey of self-discovery.

After we'd finished Rocking out, we wandered off to see a few dogs running round hoops and failing to weave in and out of poles as requested by their handlers, much to their chagrin.  One dog had been dyed in a pretty spectacular fashion, the others were bouncing around excitedly - it was exhausting just to watch!  We watched that for…oh… eleven minutes or so, and then wandered off to see something else - this time the rugby tournament that was underway.  We'd bought one of my picnic blankets (my fancy pants Veuve Clicquot one, of course), so we lay that down by the sidelines and sat down to watch the game.  By this stage it was coming up for midday, so it was bloody hot!!  And, given we didn't have any shade, I'd say we sat and watched the match for… ohh… about eleven minutes.  By this stage, we realized we were suffering from Festival-Induced ADD and - as everyone knows - the only known cure for that was - Scottish cakes and pastries!!  Guaranteed to knock you into a calorie-induced coma that will quiet even the most fidgety of folk and keep you rooted, soporifically, in the same place for at least an hour while you digest.  

We overachieved.  

Hello, Eccles cakes, lemon shortbread and a brick of a bread pudding thing that seemed genuinely made of brick, given the heft of it!  Fortunately - by a miracle of planning - my phone's battery was about to die - so that meant that a trip to the car and a Nice Long Sit-Down was in order, while I plugged my phone in and waited for it to charge.  Coincided nicely with Bakery Bingo and so we spent a very pleasant hour, in the car with the windows down, listening to the pipes and drum bands playing, while alternately eating our body weight in sugar with then dozing it off.  Perfection.  

Alas our calorie coma meant that we simply couldn't be arsed to move to rouse ourselves to go watch the haggis eating or haggis hurling competition.  We figured we could probably imagine it well enough - besides, we were involved in our own Carbo Death Match, so we had our own battles to fight.
The Classic Scottish car picnic
Anyway, after about an hour or so (it might have been longer - i drifted off), the phone was finally ready to spring back into video-action, and we headed back from the carpark (just a short walk from the entrance) back to the grounds, in time for the grand finale of the Mass Band at 6pm.  From midday to about 5pm, all the bands had been competing in various types of competitions (who can blow the hardest, who has the craziest bag pattern, who is actually blowing into a weasel and just hasn't been spotted yet.. that kinda thing).  However, the Mass Band was to be the highlight of the whole 2 day festival - where all the bands come together and you have 1,000 pipers and drummers playing together!  Just imagine how incredible that was going to be!

Well, we ended up having to imagine it too.  Because, just after 5pm, as the last of the individual competitions wrapped up, we noticed that the sky overhead had suddenly become very ominous looking.  Almost out of nowhere, the sky above had taken on a Mr.Stay Puft in Ghostbusters look, dark and brooding and looking for trouble.  We crossed our fingers and atheistically prayed for the weather to hold….. but alas.  At about 5.15pm, the heavens simply opened and we were suddenly running for cover from an torrential thunderstorm!  We learned later on that there had actually also been tornado warnings issued - fortunately we didn't know that as we were huddling for shelter under the previously-packed whiskey tent!  

And that is how the day ended, alas.  After about 15 mins of sheltering from the rain, it became clear it wasn't going to stop any time soon, so we just thought "sod it" and make a squelchy dash for the car park.  And this is where fortune favored the (scots) brave, as the hotel that i had booked for us was a mere 2 mins drive away, so instead of dealing with the insane weather on the roads, instead we dealt with the insane weather with a nice glass of wine and supper in the hotel restaurant.  A very civilized ending to what had been a very enjoyable day.  

Here are some more pics and some videos from the day - enjoy!!

Awww….steak in training. 
Mumsie making new friends
Scone with strawberries and a whole cow's worth of
cream. AND we got another one of these for FREE!!
Yey for being a member!
Adorable little Highland Dancers in training… though I suspect
their ranks will be one fewer this time next year….. 
"Do you have a flag?"
Dodgy geezers lining up for the knobbly knees competition….
Umm…tossing the Sheaf, anyone?
Its lonely at the top!  Judging the Highland Dancing..
Is that enormous table strictly necessary, love?
Guess which tent this was?
Yep… the whiskey tasting tent! 
Oh my… pies!!
Shepherd's Pie Pie.  Bloody bloody lovely lovely.
Gathering of the clans
Err.. not sure this lot got the memo about Tartan…. 
Great Scot! 
Finally.  A creature that suffers worse
Bad Hair Days than I do...
Seriously??  Wearing a baseball cap on backwards
while in full tartan regalia should NOT be allowed!!!
Beep beep!  Drooling at the vintage car show...
Beautiful car.
Damn shame it was all broken.
My future car.
Reservoir Scots
It was all going so well… and then this…..











Friday, June 20, 2014

Fed Zeppelin

What?  You mean you don't have one of these in
your workplace?...
I do love my new company.

I’ve been in Zurich all week for meetings and greetings and stuff so just so happened to be here for the Company Party on Wednesday night. (I didn’t plan it this way – honest!).  Coinciding with the start of the summer, it’s an annual event and one in which colleagues are encouraged to invite their families and loved ones along.  I have no idea how many folk are in our Zurich office, but at its busiest, I'd say there were at least a couple of hundred people there - including a reasonable herd of small children. It was really well-done with entertainers for the kids (and grown-ups too!), a mini-carousel outside the entrance to the building, a fortune teller (who was completely useless!), face painting, a lady on stilts (!) and plenty of food and drink to keep everyone well fed and watered.

Balls as far as the eye can see
Our office building has a large internal atrium that is perfect for hosting events as well as an outdoor patio space and lawn.  For some reason, the part of town where the office is located - and the building itself - has adopted a zeppelin theme!  So, yes, when I visit our Zurich office, I get to work in a building that has a 40ft long zeppelin in the atrium!  As you do.

Anyway, the weather was absolutely perfect, so it was a terribly civilized way to end the work day, sitting outside on the lawn in a deck chair, glass of chilled white in hand, chatting to colleagues and making new friends.  As well as the dazzling array of spherical mystery meats, they'd also set up a number of grilling stations, where you could make your own BBQ skewers of meat or veggies in case identifiable food was more your thing.  Later on I discovered the hot dog and fries stand, and the soft serve ice-cream stall.  Needless to say, this week was not a particularly good week for my detox.  Back on the bandwagon next week...

The party ran from 5 - 9pm, so it was solid four hours worth of providing entertainment and refreshments.  I think its such a lovely gesture – a recognition and thank you to the folks at home who enable the folks at work to do their jobs and provide the behind-the-scenes support that’s all too easy to overlook. Well done, my company, for taking the time and money to give something back and to say thank you – I’m proud to be part of an organization that makes that a priority.

But not a clue what most of them were!
This git nicked my watch while using a classic distraction
tactic on me.  I'm such a mark.
Merry stripey band
Kiddie carousel.  I was, alas, too tall.
I checked.
I bet he was nicking their watches too.  Though, thinking
 about it, that's a pretty good gig in Switzerland….
The sketch artist who was totally rubbish at drawing women..
Stephanie is less than impressed….
…..cos this looks NOTHING like me! (other than
 the cat and the glass of champagne….)
Covered in bee!
Ps. I know this is completely random but - before I forget - the other thing I love about Switzerland? The moo-ing airport shuttle.
Word.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Cake, not death

Yeah!!  Happy bithday to me!!   I bloody love birthdays.  A tangible sign I managed to cling on by my fingernails for one more year!  This year was obviously special as Mumsie was here to help me celebrate - something that hasn't happened for at least 8 or 9 years! (I was still in my 30's then - crikey!).  Coming off of our latest 10-day detox, I'd spent probably more time than I should have dreaming of the precise provenance of Bread Product and Champagne I was going to indulge in (mmm.....toast) and certainly more time that I should have trying to choose a restaurant to celebrate my Special Day.  Much to my chagrin, I'm still not up to speed yet on whats cool and happening on the foodie scene in Chicago (unlike my concierge-level of knowledge of NYC!) but its coming!!  I've just bought myself the Zagat's guide, plus a book of the top 100 historic bars and pubs and signed up for multiple foodie-type newsletters, so by the time I have my first visitors (yey for July 4th weekend!), I'll hopefully be able to guide us in the right direction!!

Surprise!! Happy birthday me!!
So... to the big day itself!  I had a number of early morning work calls (its 6am!  telecon!  happy birthday!) so I wasnt able to take the whole day off, but I managed to get everything done that I needed to (and was quite productive too - must have been in a good mood!) by noon, so had planned to do a walking tour with Second City (the famous comedy and improv group here in Chicago) around Old Town in the late afternoon, before dinner.  Getting up early for my call, I stumbled half asleep into the kitchen to stick the kettle on - and found that the Birthday Fairy had been in the middle of the night!  It was such a lovely surprise - pressies, flowers, Bread Products and trashy magazines all laid out waiting for me - what an absolute treat!!  Turns out Birthday Fairy was also pretty skilled at seeing in the dark, as everything had to be carefully maneouvered into place in the dark and in absolute silence, for fear of waking me up right next door! Birthday Fairy pretty much had me nailed too - big fat fluffy croissants, Oxford English marmalade (yum) and not one but THREE trashy magazines to keep my ageing brain in tip-top condition. A veritable gluttony of guilty pleasures.

Someone call the fire brigade!
(yum)
My squeals of delight woke Birthday Fairy up, who I duly set about making me a cup of Birthday Tea (well, I gotta milk this one day, right?) and while the kettle was boiling its (unbeknownst to it) last pot of water, I eyed up the brightly colored packages on the countertop and happily indulged in that age-old game of "which one shall I open first?". You know how it goes - the impromptu and utterly instinctive heirarchy of pressies that forms in your mind when you gaze upon a variety of intruigingly-wrapped gifts. First you ALWAYS start with opening your cards. Its like the appetizer of the gifting world. And - at least with my family - there is always a jokey card or two (along the lines of You're Really Old and a Cat Lady") as well as then the Softie Smush-y type card ("You're a Beautiful/Brilliant/One in a Million Daughter/Sister/Aunt) that I'm alarmingly seeming to find less sentimental the older I get. I guess when the two genres collide is the year I should probably start to worry. Cards done and duly displayed, then your attention turns magpie-like (ooo! bright shiny objects) back to the enticingly display of packages (steady) laid out before you. Shall I open the big one first or save that til last? I know what that one is, so should I open that now? Or should I open that interestingly shaped mystery pressie first? Or should I wait to heighten the suspense a bit more? You invariably end up opening the book-shaped pressie first, then the mug, then the edible pressie (you gotta keep your strength up, right?), THEN a mystery pressie, then the most interestingly-shaped pressie (look! a fez! AWESOME!), then your best mate's pressie and FINALLY you ALWAYS end up opening the biggest pressie last. Its just the way these things happen.

Pie-varna
So, following that time-tested Index of Opening, I gleefully tore into my pressies without even attempting to save the wrapping paper (such decadence!). In amongst the choccy and lovely smellies and new kettle (Mumsie absolutely hated my old one with a passion so has been waiting for the day to give me a fancy new one - one that has 6 diffferent settings for water temperatures to go with different types of tea! ("i'll have the Oolong setting please)... Must've been a Brit who thought that one up...), two in particular stand out as favorites among favorites. One - the Doctor Who-styled Fez nitelite holder (thanks, Loopy!) and second, my wheely 4-setting picnic hamper, ready for Ravinia action!! (thanks Mumsie!). So, all in all, the day was off to a cracking start! We also lit the candles on my croissant (fortunately living opposite the local fire station made this a less worrisome proposition than usual) which I figured counted as my fat-burning activities for the day.

After breakfast, time to get on the phone for work calls, til about midday after which, work was officially done for the day and it was Time for Pie! Yep, finally, Mumsie and I were going to hit the pie shop downstairs together for our first dollop of sugar since finishing the latest round of our detox the night before. I think we can safely say we over-achieved on that score. They were bloody delicious - I had savory pork, sage and apple followed by a slice of strawberry rhubarb pie; Mumsie had a big glistening wedge of quiche followed by coconut cream pie. Nom nom nom. Well worth the wait. After such gluttony, we staggered back up to the apartment and collapsed on the couch to digest and read trashy magazines for a couple of hours.
Mumsie had quiche and coconut cream.  Both were
ridiculously delicious.
About 3pm, it was time to start getting ready for our walking tour. I'd come across it online the day before while looking for a comedy show at The Second City for us to go to in the evening, after we'd had dinner. Unfortunately, all the evening shows were booked out, but this actually sounded just the job - a 90min walking tour through Old Town - one of the neighborhoods I'm possibly interested in moving to in the future - hosted by one of the comedians from Second City. Brilliant, I thought. A light bit of exercise before dinner, a tour of somewhere new and some laughs. All for only $15 each! Bargain!
A mildly interesting, old (for here) house in Old Town. 

Um…no. Rather than it being a walking tour around the neighborhood with amusing commentary, it turned out to be a tour about Second City with the neighborhood walking tour an extremely feeble 2-block ramble from one Second City location to the other. It was profoundly disappointing. I kinda knew we were in trouble from the start when our tour guide, an annoyingly “up” and fake chipper improv teacher, got us all to introduce ourselves at the start of the tour. OK – I mean, I don’t really give a sh*t where anyone else on this tour has come from or why they are here, but sure, why not – I can be faux-sociable and play along. So, fine – but it was the over-zealous and enthusiastic little hand clap and “that’s so SO great” that followed each person’s Not Terribly Interesting Introduction that was the harbinger of doom. I’m sorry, but have we inadvertently signed up for an Adult Special Ed class? If not, why are you talking to all of us like we are 4 yrs old?

This wasn't officially On The Tour, but we were so
 bored by this time, we were totally free styling
So, that was the start – and it kinda never really got better from that. Maybe this lady really is a better improv performer than she is tour guide – for her sake, I hope so. The “tour” was useless – basically covering less than a couple of blocks and lots of standing about while she talked to us about – you guessed it, Second City! I’m not kidding when I tell you that one of the points of interest on her tour of Old Town was….. an alley! Not a special alley (with bowling in it, or pots of gold or lined with champagne bottles or Fat Actresses named Kirstie) but a regular, common or garden alley. Yep. “Because we have alleys and NYC doesn’t have alleys so we’re better than them”. Pretty much by that point, the only alley Mumsie and I were interested in was the French version so that we could Allez out of there!
Old Town church - apparently you are in Old Town
 if you can hear its bells
Anyway, so that was a bit of a bust but I guess you gotta try these things. After the “tour” we had about an hour or so before our dinner reservation, so we decided to walk over across from Old Town into Lincoln Park. We saw more in our little self-guided amble in 20mins than in the last 90mins – inadvertently more so, when I *ahem* got us lost a couple of times so our 20min stroll turned into an hour-long exploration! Ooops. Guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree for that particular characteristic! But, it was a very pleasant evening and we didn’t mind getting to know at least a small part of town a bit better, so it was fine. We ended up going to a fancy wine bar place before dinner in what turned out to be a fruitless quest for a glass of birthday champagne (what is the fascination with prosecco, people??). The main entertainment was watching Mumsie order, then proceed to drink, a peach schnapps cocktail. Classic viewing.
Caption Not Required
After that, it was finally time for dinner – we’d selected a tapas place so that we could try lots of little bits and pieces and had picked a place that had stellar Yelp reviews. 5-star reviews, recent – and lots of them.

Yelp lies.

Before the disappointment set in.  *sigh*
It was not good. There was one dish that was genuinely delicious – a pea hummus – but the rest of it was pretty mediocre at best. It was a real disappointment. And they didn’t have any frigging champagne either!!! So, alas, dinner was a bit of a let down too – only salvaged by my fabulous dining companion, of course! (we ended up compensating by having another Birthday Dinner the following evening at home – this time, good old fashioned Brit nosh of eggs, chips, beans with bread and butter for chip butties and a very nice bottle of Henri Girard champagne. Bloody lovely). So that was my birthday. Right champion it was too. Thanks, Mumsie for a brilliant day. I’m so glad you’re here.
Beautiful birthday flowers and a
 handmade little vase from Eren


Sunday, June 08, 2014

Cake or death

So.. the finale to the weekend - an evening with my complete comedy hero (and kitty namesake) Eddie Izzard!!  I've been a fan of Eddie since he burst onto the stand-up scene in the early 90s and have seen him many times in concert, both in the UK and here in the US.  If you have never listened to, or seen, Definitive Article, Unrepeatable or Dress to Kill, drop what you are doing RIGHT NOW, find it on Netflix and watch it.  Stat.

Its OK.

I'll wait.























See?  Bloody funny, right?  I freaking LOVE Eddie.

Anyway, Eddie's been through a bit of tough time in recent years and definitely lost his mojo for a while.  I went to one of his first dip-the-toe-back-in-the-water shows in SF a couple of years ago - and was very disappointed.  Instead of being wildly brilliant and freestylingly fantastic , his signature style of random association just seemed self-indulgent and forced.  It was very flat and I left feeling equally deflated.  Most folk here in the US will be more familiar with his TV work, appearing in shows like "The Riches" rather than his stand-up roots, so they probably didn't know what to expect or have the same frame of reference that I did.

For those of you who are STILL unfamiliar with Eddie (and who completely ignored my earlier treaties) then just do me a favor and watch this little clip.  Its by this guy who has set some of Eddie's classic skits to Lego, and this is one of my all-time favorites!


Eddie selfie!!
Anyway, that gives you a taste of Eddie at the Height of His Powers and, this time, he did not disappoint!  While I'd say he still wasn't quite as consistently brilliant as his Jam Trouser and Covered in Bees days, he was still pretty damn funny!  He was playing for 3 nights at the Chicago Theatre as part of his world tour (thanks, Jason for the earlier NYC-based tip-off!) so we caught him on his second night.  It was the first time I'd been to the theater, so that was also fun and new, and I'd had the genius idea of pre-paying for parking (only $21 which - by SF standards - is super cheap!) in the garage attached to the venue, so no need to stress out about finding somewhere to park!  The show was due to start at 8pm, so we left home at around 6.45pm, arriving at the theatre about 30mins later with plenty of time to spare.  I'd gotten us pretty decent tickets (row GG) so was very happy indeed with how close we were to the stage and our view!  The venue itself is pretty small, so there probably wasn't a bad seat in the house.  The only mild concern as we sat in our seats ahead of show time was who would end up sitting in front of us!  There did seem to be an inordinately large number of freakishly tall people (perhaps there was a basketball conference in town or something) so Mumsie and I sat in our seats, both silently praying for short people!!  In the end we completely lucked out as there was no-one in front of us, so we had a perfectly unobstructed view for the whole of the performance.

And what a performance it was.  He was great.  He wasn't in full TV get-up this time, instead opting for a very sharp suit and even sharper bright red fingernails, accompanied with a bowler hat and a cane umbrella. All terribly British.  He looked very well and healthy (its amazing what not subjecting your body to running a marathon a day will do for you) so I was glad to see that Eddie Was Back!  I'm not going to do him the disservice of trying to recount some of his gags (those of you familiar with him will know how impossible a task that would be!) but suffice it to say that Mr. Stevens played a pivotal role throughout the whole show.  A very welcome reprise.  (alas no Mrs. Badcrumble, but maybe next time).  And who'dve thought that the great Roman military commander Mark Antony was really a chicken with mechanical legs?  That is the pure genius of Eddie - you learn something new every time.

Now, did someone mention cake?
Happy sigh - first theater trip in Chicago and couldn't have asked
for a more perfect first show!
I wonder how many folk in the audience
got the Avengers reference?
Beautiful interior of the historic Chicago theatre
Brilliant seats - very happy bunnies